


My Angel

by AbbyGibbs



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s03e09 Frame-Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Possible Character Death, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6110569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyGibbs/pseuds/AbbyGibbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Sheppard hadn't brought that folder in time? What if Chip had hurt Abby?</p><p>
  <a href="http://www.servimg.com/view/11914896/624"></a>
  <img/>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Well, this story is a late comer – I had to watch the episode two times to be able to come up with some story and I have already another coming to pieces in the back of my mind. NCIS inspires me immensely; I've never known why, but this started when the show did. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy the story and it'll help you wait for the next part of "Trapped"…
> 
> The seventh part of "Trapped" is progressing.
> 
> Feedback: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.

**2333**

**NCIS Building**

**Abby's lab.**

As soon as Gibbs had seen the picture in that case file he'd run to Abby's lab, but not fast enough…

When Tony had seen his boss running like a madman, he didn't ask why. He'd just run after him. As they arrived at the lab Gibbs was holding his gun in front of him, as did Tony, who was standing a few steps behind.

Gibbs called Abby's name, but didn't receive any answer. The lab was in chaos. There were test tubes everywhere on the floor and Abby's Coffee-Pow spilled on the floor as well. Gibbs slowly took a few steps forward and called again.

"Abby!" Still nothing in return.

It was then that he saw her body lying motionless and covered in blood. He ran to her, as did Tony…

"Call an ambulance!" Gibbs and Tony yelled in unison.

At that, McGee managed to shake himself and took his cell phone out of his jacket pocket.

Ziva, who watched the scene without saying a word, noticed something strange blinking somewhere behind a counter. She carefully passed and came closer to what was shining. Then she saw that it was knife, the same knife that probably injured Abby.

"I found…. the knife, Gibbs, but I've also found something else…"

Gibbs looked up at Ziva and then his eyes went to Tony. Without a word, Tony went to see what she had found. When he neared her, Tony called Ducky so he could come take a look. Jenny Sheppard knelt down beside Abby and Gibbs, who was still holding her, trying to apply some pressure to her wounds. Sheppard was about to lay her hand on Abby's wound, but Jethro shot her a glaring look.

Jenny opened her mouth to say something, but then she just got up and left the lab. What she'd seen in his eyes had hurt her, as if Gibbs had stabbed her heart.

She knew why he had looked at her with such eyes – Gibbs was in pain and he was angry. Jenny couldn't completely blame him, though he'd told her that Abby needed to work alone. He told her so, but she hadn't listened to him, and now Abby was bleeding badly because of her 'wanting to help'… or was it because of something else?

"Where is the damn ambulance?" Gibbs yelled.

"On its way, boss," Tim said.

"Boss, I think we have another problem over here…" Tony said, slowly.

"What?" he asked his younger officer, anger evident in his voice.

"Well…" Tony started softly.

"Well what?" Gibbs snapped out.

Tony hesitated a second, asking himself if he really had to tell his boss what he had just discovered.

Chip was in agony, but he was still alive and aware of everything that was happening. Tony was tempted to not tell his boss, but on the other hand he also wanted to know the reason why the forensic assistant had done this to his friend.

"Well, DiNozzo?" berated Gibbs, still holding Abbs's bloodstained body close to him.

"We need another ambulance, here, boss." Tony confessed, finally looking Gibbs straight in the eye.

It took Gibbs a split second to register the information. Tony could see the instant when his boss realized the implication of he'd just said, because the sadness in his eyes had been replaced by anger, even rage.

"Come over here, DiNozzo," Gibbs told him calmly, too calmly.

"Boss I don't think…"

"Don't make me say it twice, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned.

Tony reluctantly stood up and went to his boss, who was still holding his lab tech. Tony kneeled next to his best friend and took her from Gibbs.

"McGee, go check out where the damn ambulance is! Because if she's not here in two and a half minutes, I'm gonna kick your ass and fire you," he told his still on probationary agent.

"On it, boss!"

Gibbs went to Chip, clearly enraged. Someone who really knew him could see that his eyes were brimming with tears. He could not understand why on earth someone would want to hurt Abigail Sciuto – she was kind, lovely, helpful, an amazing friend… no, Gibbs could definitely not understand the reason why someone would want to harm Abby.

Tony, who was now holding Abby in his arms, realized how badly his friend was hurt when he held her closer to him. His shirt started becoming red the second he had placed her against his chest. Tony felt a wave of fear run through him.


	2. Chapter 2

This couldn't be happening. He'd lost Kate a couple of months ago, and now he was losing Abby? No, this couldn't be. He wouldn't allow her to leave him or Gibbs. Tony was looking at the 'mistress of darkness' he liked so much… she looked as if she was a porcelain doll right now – so fragile.

His white shirt was turning red as he was holding her tightly against him, but Tony didn't give a damn. He was not going to let her slip away from life. Tony felt a wave of sadness and pure anger building within him.

It was then that he saw Abby's eyelids slowly open. She looked at Tony with glassy green eyes, and he felt his heart break slowly bit by bit. Abby was struggling to find some energy to say something. "Tell… Gibbs… I… I'll… never… forget… him…" Abby murmured weakly.

Tony could see that she clearly fought to find her breath, and he felt tears wetting his eyes. Abby added in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "Tell… Gibbs… I… I… lo…ve… him…" Then Abby's eyes slowly closed and her heart stopped beating.

"Abbyyyyyy, NOOOOO! Stay with me! Stay with us!"

Hearing Tony's plea. Gibbs turned around and got up quickly, rushing to Tony and Abby. Ziva did the same. Gibbs's body shivered with fear. He looked at Tony, then shifted his gaze to Abby, and suddenly realization flooded him.

"NO, NO, NO… she's not gonna die on me!" Gibbs stated.

Gibbs slowly took her from Tony, laid her gently on the cool floor, and started CPR on her. Ziva was now crying silently.

She and Abby hadn't been good friends at first because Abbs had seen her a bit like an intruder – like an enemy – maybe because she wasn't the only one to get attention anymore. But then after a while, things had changed, and Abby had started to accept her… and now…

Gibbs was still practicing CPR on his lab tech with the energy of desperation. "Abby, come on, honey, don't do this to me, don't die on me. Come back to me. I need you!" he said forcefully as tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Nor Tony nor Ziva spoke or moved. They just stared at him, paralyzed, petrified.

"Tony, go get the car!" Gibbs ordered, his tone of voice leaving no place for protest as he lifted his eyes up to him. "We're taking her to the hospital ourselves!"

Suddenly shaken out of his paralyzed state, Tony nodded quickly and hurried out of the lab, to the elevator. Stopping at his desk to grab the car keys, he finally ran out of the building to the parking lot.

Ziva David was still standing there as stiff as a statue, watching Gibbs trying to bring life back into Abby's fragile, pale frame.

"Ziva?" Gibbs called.

No reaction.

"Ziva!" Gibbs tried again in a stronger tone.

At last, NCIS Special Agent David reacted. Kneeling down next to her boss, she looked at him, wordlessly asking what she needed to do.

"Go find McGee and tell him that Tony and I are taking Abby to Bethesda. I refuse to let her go without a fight, Ziva. I've lost too many people I cared about. I'm not gonna lose her too, no way!"

Ziva looked at Gibbs and nodded. Standing up, she went in search of McGee. Jethro watched her leave the lab and waited a few seconds to make sure she was really gone to let his pain come out.


	3. Chapter 3

"No, my girl, you won't die on me, please. Fight for me, honey, I know you can do it. I'm not ready to say good-bye. I'll never be ready to say good-bye to you. Please…" he pleaded in a teary voice.

Gibbs hadn't cried for years, but now… he shifted Abby's lifeless body to be able to hold her better. He stood, and walked as fast as he could with her in his arms. He wouldn't give up on her; he refused to let her go, even knowing that right now, her body was lifeless, her arms and legs were limp and her head was hanging back.

Once at the elevator, he stood very close to the door panel, so that he was able to push the button. The metallic doors opened after a few seconds, and he entered the cage. Turning and standing close to the metal panel, he pushed the button again.

As the metal cage stopped and its doors opened, Gibbs rushed out of the building. Tony was waiting for him, the two back doors of the car already open, and he was behind the steering wheel with the engine still running. Gibbs laid Abby as carefully as he could on the back seat, closed the door and ran to the other side of the car.

Slipping his hands under Abby's head, he lifted it a little and then slid into the back seat as well, closing his door as he settled in. As soon as Tony heard the second back door slam shut, he planted his foot on the gas pedal. The tires screeched and smoked a little as they left skid marks.

Tony drove at full speed to Bethesda. As soon as they arrived Tony stopped the car, not caring one damn bit where he parked, he just tightened the hand brake and let the engine running. He rushed to the back of the car, opened the door for his boss, and helped him get his friend out of it.

DiNozzo and Gibbs, with Abbs in his arms, went through the sliding doors of the emergency area of the hospital building.

Doctors and nurses ran toward them with a stretcher as soon as they entered.

"What happened?"

"She's been stabbed several times and she has some lacerations on both her forearms and one on her face as you can see…" Tony told the doctors and nurses as Gibbs carefully laid Abbs on the stretcher.

"Any idea how it happened?" one of the nurses asked.

"She was attacked by her assistant," he explained to the nurse with a slight touch of anger in his voice.

The nurse, who was a tall, slender brunette with long hair and huge blue eyes, looked at him intently as if she was trying to make out if he really was telling the truth.

Gibbs sensed what she was trying to do, and felt a rush of anger rise through him.

"Listen, lady, I know this may sound crazy, but I'm not making this up. The young lady lying on that stretcher is my best friend. I was holding her as I saw life slowly slip away from her. Do you have any idea how it felt?" He almost shouted the last words out.

Tony, who was watching the whole scene, felt so helpless, and guilty. Even though he knew full well that this wasn't his fault, he was at the base of what had happened to Abby. If Chip hadn't tried to frame him, Abby wouldn't have worked almost 24/7 to try to clear his name.

All she had wanted to do was help a friend out of trouble; nothing more, nothing less. All he wanted to do right now was to kill Chip. He wouldn't do it, of course, but he really wanted to.

Tony was ripped out of his thoughts by one of the doctors.

"You know, your friend must have hurt her aggressor petty badly, judging by the numbers of bruises and defensive wounds she has."

Gibbs was standing a little behind the medical team, but still close enough to see everything they performed on Abby. It was almost as if he was supervising.

"Yeah, she definitely did," he answered.

Ziva, followed by McGee, arrived at that precise moment. When the emergency room doors slid open again, another medical team went into action. No one noticed who the victim was at first because the doctors and nurses were around him, but then one of them stepped away so that Tony could have a good look at his face, and he rushed over.

Ziva stopped him just in time, sensing what he was about to do. Gibbs, who had seen it coming as well, thanked her by nodding his head.

"Tony?"

Tony didn't react; he was still fighting to get out of the steady grip that was holding him. "Tony, look at me!" she ordered him gently but firmly.

He did as he was told, and looked at her. Ziva didn't say a word, she just looked him in the eye, and he knew. What he wanted to do was understandable, but it wouldn't bring him anything, and it wouldn't help Abby to get better either. What he needed was to be concentrating on Abby, and he needed to try to find out why Chip did it, and check out whether someone might have assigned him to stab her.

He would do it for her. For what she did for him.

"We need to operate as soon as possible! Hurry, boys, get some action in here or we might lose her!" one of the docs yelled suddenly, and Gibbs's heart stopped beating, and the world before him seemed to be frozen.

 _No, this isn't real…_ he thought. _Please. I'm having a nightmare, and I'm gonna wake up soon._

All the team members had the same thoughts in mind as they watched the medical team work frantically around Abby's fragile frame, on the way to the OR.

There was nothing more than they do except wait and hope.

"I need some coffee," Gibbs said suddenly, and he left without another word. Tony, Ziva and McGee looked at each other in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs needed some coffee, yes, but what he really needed was to get out of here. Out of these hospital walls. Gibbs felt suddenly trapped; he would suffocate if he didn't get out, even if it only would be for a few minutes, so he walked straight forward through the corridors that leaded to the exit doors. He needed some fresh air, rain even.

Rain would maybe work like a shower and wash all the fears and anguish he was feeling inside, he felt helpless, and suddenly he had the feeling he had gotten older by ten year. All of this, this situation was only a horrible – the most horrifying nightmare he had ever had -- he would soon wake up. Yeah that was the only plausible explanation. He was dreaming.

Abby wasn't in the ER of the hospital, no she was safe… safe in her lab, listening to her crazy music and typing frantically on her keyboard to get him a DNA result. Yeah, that is what she was doing. Abby was a lab rat she couldn't possibly be deadly wounded.

How could something like that happen? How was it that he hadn't seen it coming? how could he have been that blind? had he been that mislead? Did he misjudge Chip like that, because someone tried to frame DiNozzo? and for what purpose? vengeance? Abby hadn't slept for days until she had been able to nail the bastard who had done this to her friend, only to discover that the guy they were looking for was her new assistant.

She had called him to ask if he could talk to Shepard to get rid of Chip, but ma'am the Director had refused claiming that Abby worked too much and that she was practically living on caffeine. And now the consequences of that decision were disastrous. Abby was fighting to stay alive. A battle she was losing.

Gibbs was starting to feel sick. Sick of people, who, were acting on vengeance. It might feel good in the beginning, but then when that feeling fades away slowly and it's as slowly replaced by pain and emptiness and those are actually the feelings you are left to live with… the people you ones loved never come back, never love or never say they love you ever again. All you are left with are memories, the only thing that no one will ever take away from you.

Gibbs was way too familiar with that feeling for his own liking.

Except, maybe this time vengeance might not be enough. Gibbs had long ago, lost his faith in God, after his wife and daughter were killed, but if Abby had to die too, he would definitely lose everything, and he didn't know what he would do then. Gibbs shove that thought away, he didn't want to take that possibility in consideration.

 _Abby couldn't die, that was impossible, she didn't deserve to, she was too good to everyone she knew_. _If she did die that would be the biggest injustice of all_ Gibbs stated as he was about to cross the exit doors.

As he had wished for, it was raining outside; Gibbs gladly stepped in the outside world, and looked at the grey sky above him. Closing his eyes for a few seconds as the rain drops hit his face. They were cold and it felt good as they rolled down his face, his costume was getting wet, but that was really nothing he cared about.

It was slowly getting dark, and take a walk to the coffee-shop would do him good. With a little luck, his head would cool off a bit as well.

Meanwhile, Tony was driving Ziva and McGee crazy by pacing up and down the hospital waiting hall. Ziva had never seen him like that before… this… lost and terrified. He reminded her of a lion in a cage.

She'd expected it from Gibbs, because she'd seen him interact with Abby, they always seemed to be very… close. Now, giving it a second thought, she hadn't expected this reaction from Gibbs at all. what she had expected was for him to stay near Abby, and reassure them that he would be okay even if he didn't say a word Gibbs's presence was comforting. He was the one who held the team strong. When things were getting rough, they always knew, they would get better in a way sooner or later because Leroy Jethro Gibbs is as solid as a rock, but now...

On the other hand, Gibbs was maybe in the same state of mind, Tony was, but he didn't show it so openly because he was a Marine, I simply chose to go out to get himself some coffee.

Maybe, DiNozzo should go for coffee as well.

Ziva walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, Tony instantly stopped at looked at her, his face showed her pain and fear. Taken about by the sight he was offering her she didn't reacted immediately, but then when she had recover her senses she asked "Wanna go to get some real coffee?"

"Okay," he replied lamely.

"McGee, stay here in case there's anything new and call us, okay?"

Timothy McGee simply nodded.

A couple of minutes later, Tony and Ziva were also walking into the rain. They walked in silence for a few moments then Tony suddenly said: "She can't die on us. Abby as to live."

"She will, Tony, she will." Ziva told him.

He stopped abruptly and faced her, only to tell her a bit too harshly than he had really indented "You don't know that! You don't know that Ziva, you weren't the one that was holding her and watching her struggling to breathe. She didn't tell you to tell Gibbs…" his voice cracked as he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, but Ziva forced him to do so.

"What Tony? What did she asked you to tell Gibbs." She asked.

Tony watched her with teary eyes as he took a deep breath before he said "She told me to tell him that she loved him, she closed her eyes then…" Tony's tone of voice was barely above a whisper.

A knot formed into Ziva's throat, she never thought that one day, she'd seen her colleague like this, he was literally divested, but what she couldn't understand was why. It was obvious to her that he liked Abby, but…

"She's like a sister to me, and don't want to lose her."

Now, Ziva had her answer. He considered Abby like his sister. Since she worked at NCIS Ziva had been observing them, and determined that they were a very united team, they were always there for one another no matter what. They were a family. When one of them is hurt they all are.

Tony hadn't move an inch since he'd told Ziva about what Abby had told him to tell Gibbs, his gaze was fix on some precise point as if he had seen a ghost or something.

The images of Abby's lifeless body covered in blood haunted him. The scene constantly replayed itself in his head.

_His white shirt was now beyond repair, but Tony didn't give a damn. He was not going to let her slip away from life. Tony felt a wave of sadness and pure anger building within him._

_It was then that he saw Abby's eyelids slowly open. She looked at Tony with glassy green eyes, and he felt his heart break slowly bit by bit. Abby was struggling to find some energy to say something. "Tell… Gibbs… I… I'll… never… forget… him…" Abby murmured weakly._

_Tony could see that she was clearly fighting to find her breath and he felt tears wetting his eyes. Abby added in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "Tell… Gibbs… I… I… lo…ve… him…" Then Abby's eyes slowly closed and her heart stopped beating._

" _Abbyyyyyy, NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay with me! Stay with us!"_

 _How would he ever be able to tell that to Gibbs, if the worse would happen?_ Tony's slightly shivered at the thought. Tony hoped from the bottom of his hear he would never have to tell him that. That one day, Abby would tell him that herself.

***~*~*~***

Abby was laying there on the operation table. Her worse nightmare had become a reality. The nightmare that had paralyzed her from months, it had made her refuse to go down to autopsy. She saw herself lying on a stainless steel table, -- one of Ducky's tables dead and cut open. And today that was where she was.

Okay it was lying on an operation table and the doctors were actually trying to fix her, but to Abby it felt the same way.

_How can I still be aware of my surroundings? I'm practically dead. How did I end up here? Why did Chip try to kill me? He seemed so pissed and full of anger when he stabbed me. But I fought back, Gibbs will be proud of me… Oh my God, Gibbs…_

_Abby then heard someone call her name. Someone was calling her by her given name, curious she turned around and saw a nice old lady, holding out her hand to her, telling her to come with her, they would go into the light together. The old woman had a nice smile and a warm look in her eyes, snow white hair was cascading around her shoulder._

_Considering her options for a second, and feeling incredibly tired, Abby decided to follow the old lady into the light. She loves Gibbs so very much, and would have loved to stay with him, but she so tired that she lost all the energy she would need to fight back._

***~*~*~***

We've lost her, come on people let's try to bring her back. They shocked her once, twice, three, four time performing cardiac massages even, and everything they could think of to bring her back, but it had been of no use: her life line on the monitor was flat, and it sent out a annoying steady *biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip* there was nothing else they could do. Defeated one of the team members that had worked on Abby said the fatidic words:

… Time of death 01:45 …


	5. Chapter 5

" _It has been said time heals all wounds, I do not agree, the wounds remain, in time the mind protecting insanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens but it is never gone." -- Rose Kennedy._

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was walking slowly toward the hospital again, wondering about his favorite team member when he suddenly felt extremely cold, as if he was standing in the middle of the North Pole. He felt like he was frozen.

" _Abby…"_ he murmured.

His coffee felt out of his hand, the dark brown liquid splashed on the sidewalk as the top fell off as it hit the ground—his mind absently went to a certain moment in time, his heartbeat stopped.

_NCIS special agent Caitlin Todd had just been killed. All the team worked on the case. Trying to concentrate and dealing with the grief they were feeling at the same time. Gibbs knew who the killer was but couldn't prove it, adding on top of that, the new director of NCIS was none other than Jenny Shepard, an ex of his._

_Gibbs was just coming back from his trip to the coffee shop nearby. He was holding a large coffee cup in hand when suddenly he felt and heard a bullet whistle by, before it shattered the small window of Abby's lab into million pieces and a little after that he heard her cry out a muffled sound. The coffee cup he was holding landed on the ground in an instant as he ran inside the building. He was in a lab, shutting the light on his way to her._

_Not again…_ he thought as ran toward the hospital.

Tony who was walking back toward the waiting room, a coffee in his hand, along with Ziva, was having the same kind of reaction. He suddenly dropped the coffee cup he was holding as he whispered Abby's name and started to run off.

"Tony!" Ziva called after him. "Tony wait!" she called again as she started to run after him.

Ducky was still sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs, lost in his thoughts. His head snapped up in a second as he heard Tony calling his name. "Ducky!" the young agent was slightly out of breath. Standing up, Ducky walked over to him, concern could be read all over his face.

The NCIS ME's concern grew as he saw Gibbs running down to them a few moments later, followed by Ziva. "Tony what…?" she stopped herself from asking her question when she saw the look on his face.

She could clearly see her boss's eyes were watering although he did the best he could to fight it.

The world was about to collapse for the best investigative team the NCIS had ever had, and there were some hard times ahead for them.

None of the doctors wanted or dared to be the one to tell the NCIS team waiting outside that, the young woman by the name Abigail Sciuto was dead. Eventually one of them did.

It was always the same when they had to tell the parents or relatives that the one they loved was gone forever. Cries, screams of denial were usually heard. So the brave doctor prepared himself to whatever was to come. What came was unexpected.

**~*~**~*~**

The moment the doctor entered the waiting room, Gibbs and Tony knew it was over. Abby was gone forever. Tony shook his head, as his eyes watered and tears rolled down his cheeks. Ziva who stood now beside him grabbed his hand, as her eyes watered also.

"It's over, isn't it?" he asked in a voice he didn't recognize as his own.

The man didn't answer, but his silent spoke more than a million words.

Donald Mallard felt as he suddenly had trouble breathing. _No Abby couldn't be gone, no she simply couldn't._ He placed a hand before his mouth as the tears started down his cheek.

Timothy McGee, stood a little behind them, completely paralyzed as realization poured into him. He was never going to see Abby again, she was dead. The probie agent, as he was still referred as—even if technically he wasn't a probie anymore—dropped to his knees, covered his face with his hands, and cried. Ziva turned and as she saw McGee on the ground, walked over to him and kneeled beside him. Not sure of what she was supposed to do because as a Mossad agent, she had been trained stay emotionless under any circumstances. This time it was different, she felt grief and pain too. Slowly she let her hand come in contact with McGee's.

Startled by the slight touch, he lifted his head slowly to look up at whom ever had touched his hand and when he saw it was Ziva he slowly slid his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

Gibbs was calm. Very calm. Dangerously calm. His eyes were now dry as if they hadn't been moistened a few moments ago. He walked toward the doctor.

"I'm very sorry sir; we did everything we could…"

"I want to see her." Gibbs told the man who was now standing in front of him.

"I'm sorry you can't…" the doctor started to say, but rapidly changed his mind when Gibbs took another step forward, his body was brushing against the practitioner, his eyes showing nothing but coldness."

"I'll bring you to her, Sir."

Gibbs took a few steps back, in order to allow the man to move. Without further words, Jethro Gibbs followed, leaving the others behind.

The whole team felt as if they had suddenly landed in a bad horror movie or something. They were all having the same terrifying nightmare and they would wake up soon. Unfortunately they weren't having a bad dream. No, they were in the cruel reality their life had become in five minutes.

Tony couldn't stop his tears from falling, it hurt so much, and his entire body ached with grief and pain. Ducky slowly moved toward him and pulled his arms around the younger agent. Letting go of Ziva's hand, he put both his arms around the older man holding him tightly.

**~*~**~*~**

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was standing motionless as if paralyzed. Here he was a curtain away from Abby. All he had to do to was open the curtain, and he would see her, but for a reason he could not explain, he couldn't bring himself to do so—not yet.

A smile appeared to his lips as he remembered a moment in her lab. _Abby was talking to him, in ASL which annoyed Tony because of course Anthony DiNozzo couldn't sign. Surprised,Tony asks: "Abby signs?" answering positively Gibbs explains that her parents' were deaf and when Tony asked why he'd learned it, he redirected the conversation on the case by telling Tony what Abby says. Eluding the question very nicely._

_Abby opened the door and smiled at him._

" _Hey, thank you." Gibbs said while signing the words with his hands as well._

" _That was fun, Gibbs, you still got the touch."_

_Then she signed to him that she has more, and they both follow her to her beloved babies. She'd run GSR tests on the smugglers including the victim's commander, Farrell, but his were negative which meant that Gibbs one again was right._

Gibbs realized then how much he'd loved talking in ASL to Abby. And it was not only because it bothered DiNozzo, no, it was also because that way they could have a private conversation. Sigh language was part of the relationship, was a part of the bond they shared.

Taking a deep breath, before letting the air slowly escape his longs again, Gibbs reached for the curtain and pulled it back opening it.

Saying Gibbs was frozen the instant his eyes caught sight of lifeless body of Abigail Sciuto was an understatement. He had felt that something was wrong on his way back to the hospital. He didn't quite knew why he'd felt it, he just knew, Abby was gone. When the doctor had confirmed his worst fears he stupidly thought that there was still a possibility that all this wasn't true. That all this was effectively nothing more, than a horrible nightmare.

But now, reality was slapping him hard in his face. He couldn't deny reality anymore—Abby, _his_ Abby—was gone forever and nothing in the world could bring her back, no matter how much he wanted it. She wasn't his, she never had been. She only was his at night in his thoughts and his dreams.

Jethro felt a knot form in his throat as he slowly approached the metal table she laid on. Abby was as white as a fresh sheet. Her eyes were closed completely free of makeup. The person full of life she once was, had left a peaceful face.

Her body was covered with a light cream colored sheet. Gibbs felt awful, nauseous. His eyes were watering again, as he bent down over her to place a kiss on her cold lips.

 _Oh Abbs why did you have to leave me? What am I going to do without you? I'm broken and empty; you took my heart with you. Why did you leave me?_ Gibbs asked himself as he finally let the tears roll down his cheeks.

He slowly slid his hand under her neck and lifted her upper body, just like Tony and himself had done earlier, before they'd brought her to the hospital. Carefully, placing his other hand on the sheet that was still covering her, but that threatened to slide off. His gesture prevented it from uncovering her any further…

Gibbs sad on the table then and held Abby tightly against him and rocked her gently as he cried…

"I'm so sorry, Abbs. I'm so sorry I failed you." he told her in a soft broken voice. Then continued… "I could have saved you. How am I going to live now that you're gone? You were the one that breathe back life into me again. After Shannon and Kelly died, I had lost every reason to live and needed to drag myself to work every morning until you entered my life, and brought light and life into it again. What am I supposed to do now?" he asked her, as he cried even more and caressed her cheek with his own.


	6. Chapter 6

**0133**

**Operation Room**

**Bethesda hospital**

The entire room fell silent. All that could be heard was the breathing of the people standing in the room and the annoying *biiiiiiiiiiiiiip* of the monitor still connected to Abby's body indicating them that she was gone. All that the monitor screen showed, was a flat blue line.

Abby Sciuto had left the Earth for a better life in Heaven.

Yet it felt as if she was still lingering around in the room somehow. That's what one of the nurses, Carol Atkinson, was feeling like. She couldn't explain why, but it felt to her as if Abby didn't want to go to the other side. She knew it was impossible, but the impression didn't go away.

"Could someone shut down that monitor, please?"

Carol executed herself and switch down the device. Now the OR was completely silent. The atmosphere in the room had suddenly become very heavy.

The feelings that took hold of them now were defeat, sadness, helplessness. They were all reminded, in that moment, that they were only human and not God.

Another member of the crew that had tried to save the now lifeless body lying on the metallic table, took hold of the light green sheet splattered with bloodstains, and pulled it up covering Abby's face. It was over. The team had done everything in their power, but had failed.

Looking at one another, they knew that someone had to tell the people that where waiting for news, but no one really wanted to go out there and tell them, tell them that they had done everything they could to save their colleague but it was too late. They hadn't been able to save her. They had all seen how Gibbs had been reacting when he had brought her to the hospital a few hours ago. No one knew Gibbs personally, but they could see that he wasn't the kind of person to mess with. The NCIS agent didn't seem easy to work with. Announcing that she was dead would incur his lightning on them and that something none of them wanted to do.

Neither wanted to do it, but they couldn't let them wait indefinitely. The doctor in charge sighed inwardly. He had been there when the agents arrived so he would be the one to tell them the news.

Taking a deep breath the doctor took tore the blue tissue mask of his face, and left the room, while the others looked at him a few moments before deciding to clean the mess in the OR, that they were standing in.

***~*~*~***

The doctor passed through the doors, and Gibbs immediately stood up. As he saw the doctor's face and eyes he knew. A wave of anger rose through him.

 _I'm gonna kill that bastard!_ Gibbs thought. _Chip was going to pay for this._

"We did everything we could to save her…"

"NO!" Tony said very calmly, too calmly. "No, don't you dare to say that!"

"I'm sorry, Sir" the doctor said sympathetically.

"Don't sorry sir me… you know what I just figured out? That you guys don't know anything how to safe somebody's life." DiNozzo told the doctor coldly and walked away.

"Tony!" Ziva called after him in a broken voice as she fought against her own tears.

As she wanted to run after her colleague and friend, Ducky grabbed her arm gently. "No, Ziva, let him go."

"But Ducky…"

"I know, but he needs to be alone right now." The Scottish ME told her, in a small voice.

Ziva nodded almost imperceptibly and held on to Ducky as he took her in his arms.

Gibbs hadn't said a word since the doctor had appeared through the door a couples of minutes earlier. He slowly walked to him. The doctor fought the sudden urge he had to take a step back as Gibbs approach him and was slightly surprised when the NCIS agent asked him:

"Can I see her, Doctor?"

"Certainly, but could you please wait here a few minutes? I'll come and bring you to her when the team has finished cleaning up the operating room."

Murmuring a thank you to the doctor; Gibbs turned his attention back to the members of his team. Tim had tears rolling down his cheeks, as did Ducky who was still holding Ziva. He had so hoped to never seen his team in such pain again.

_Tony and Gibbs where helping Kate to stand up after a bullet had hit her bullet proof vest when she had jump in front of her boss to prevent him of being hit. She was just fully standing, the two agent were still holding her by her arms laughing at the situation when suddenly a death sound was heard, something hit Kate's forehead and she was lying on her back on the cold concrete, her eyes still open and a red a red pool was beginning to form under her the back of her head._

_Tony's face was scattered over with tiny red bloodstains as Gibbs was frantically looking around trying to figure out where the shot could have come from._

Walking back over to them, he took McGee into his arms and held him tight. He knew how much the younger agent cared for Abby. Gibbs himself didn't understand himself how he was able to hold his emotions back; he could see when he had turned back to them, when he had asked the doctor if he could see Abby that Ducky was crying.

And Ziva who wasn't exactly a woman who could show emotions easily due to her Mossad training was letting the tears run freely down her cheeks. And Tony well… He would look after Tony later… right now Gibbs knew that DiNozzo needed to be left alone.

Tony couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He was broken inside, broken by the harsh reality that was the present. His best friend, the best forensic scientist, crazy over hugging person he knew, someone they dearly loved was no more, and there was absolutely no way to bring her back.

Chip was going to pay for this, after Gibbs had his turn with the pseudo forensic. He would be second in line to make him suffer.

A smile caressed his lips through his tears when a memory of Abby popped into his mind.

_Gibbs had handed him a Caf Pow! Specifying that it was for Abby. Tony took the elevator and headed down to the forensic lab, to bring her favorite drink to the mistress of forensic science she was. As he neared the entry of the lab he could hear her voice, a smile appeared on his face, but it quickly vanished as he came close enough to hear what she was actually saying._

" _I'm pregnant, McGee, twins. I haven't told the father yet, it's Gibbs. I know it's wrong, but something about his silver hair gets me all tingling inside"_

" _Excuse me for a second, I think I'm gonna vomit." Tony said has entered the lab, her favorite drink._

" _I'm joking' Tony, except for the part about Gibbs's hair that's really hot."_

_Giving Abby her beloved drink, Tony then caresses his hair at either side of his head._

" _McGee is ignoring me again."_

" _Easily fixable." Tony tells her as his right hand comes in contact with McGee's head._

Abby really had a thing for Gibbs even if she turned it into jokes. He knew he had to head back toward the others, that they were hurt too, but Tony couldn't just yet, he needed a few more minutes alone to think.

***~*~*~***

Gibbs was now holding Ziva tightly in his arms.

"Why, Gibbs? Why did Chip stab her to dead?" Ziva asked him in a muffled voice against his chest.

"I don't know, Ziva… I don't know." he replied in a sad voice tightening his hold on her a little more.

They stayed like this until the doctor came to tell Gibbs that he could see Abby, now. Letting go of him Ziva looked him with sad eyes, as did the others that were standing near. Ducky looked at Gibbs intently to make sure he was doing okay. He was concerned about his long time friend. Since they had been told Abby was dead, he hadn't reacted.

As if the news hadn't registered in his system, yet. Ducky would have expected him to react like Tony, only worse, but there was nothing, so the Scottish medical examiner was afraid that when it would finally come out it would burst like a broken dam.

"Ziva, Tim, why don't we go get some fresh air?" Dr. Mallard proposed.

"But…" both McGee and David protested.

"There's nothing we can do here."

Both agents looked defeated as they followed Ducky. All three of them looked behind them one last time to see their leader follow the doctor to the room where Abby's body was lying.

No words were exchanged during the short trip to the room, any words would have been futile, and unneeded.

They all had done what they could, so no one was to blame. They were not the ones who'd stabbed and killed her.

Abby had been transferred in another room after they had sewn her back up again, and had covered her with a white sheet.

"Here you are, Sir. Take all the time you need" The man said as they arrived at the closed door that would lead Gibbs to Abby for the very last time.

"Thank you."

"I wish we could have done more." The doctor said sympathetically, as he walked away.

Gibbs stared at the door for a few moments, took a deep breath, then reached out for the doorknob. As it turned slightly, the door slowly opened. As he pushed it open completely, the first thing he saw was the table she lay on. The white sheet was completely covering her, including her face. Unable to move from where he was standing, he just stared.

Reality hit him full force then. She was gone. Abby _his_ Abby was gone forever. Well she never actually was his Abby, but still. No more over powerful hugs, no more kisses on the cheeks, no more sign language. No more _Good work, Abbs…_

Finally Gibbs managed to move one foot then the other and slowly approached. As he stood next to the table, he reached out and very slowly pulled the sheet off of her face.

She looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, it seemed almost like Abby was smiling. Reaching out once again Gibbs caressed her cheek lightly almost afraid that she would break if he'd put a tiny little more force in his touch.

The second his skin went in contact with hers, his emotions broke free. His eyes were full of tears in a matter of seconds.

"Why, Abby? Why did you have to leave us? Why leave me? I wasn't ready to lose you yet. I need you. I love you, I wanted to tell you I loved you right after this case was over. I was ready to jump of the cliff and let myself love again for you, Abbs." Gibbs asked in a heartbroken voice, as the tears were now running down his cheeks.

***~*~*~***

"Shouldn't we be looking for Tony" Ziva asked concerned.

"He needs to grieve on his own first. He'll come back when he's ready, dear" Ducky's voice was hoarse, and pain filled.

"Why did she have to die? Why Abby of all people?" McGee suddenly questioned.

"I don't know, Timothy. It was her time I guess."

"Well, it's unfair, Abby's never hurt any single soul on earth, she's always been there to help others so there was valuable reason that Chip killed her. If that's what we have to work for then I'll quit. Chip should have been the one to die, not Abby!" McGee stated in a very audible pissed voice. His grief was slowly turning over into anger.

Ziva place a hand on Tim's right shoulder. "Easy, McGee."

"No, Ziva, I want to know why! And I want to know what pushes someone to go this far only out of vengeance. I mean… he tried to frame Tony, and as soon he realized it wouldn't work because Abby wouldn't give up, as determined as she was to prove that he was innocent…" McGee's voice trailed off.

"What is it, Tim?" Ducky asked.

"My God, I just realized something…"

"And that is?" Ziva wanted to know.

"Tony must think he's responsible for Abby's dead."

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"Well, yeah, think about it, Ziva. As I said, Chip tried to frame him, we all worked on the case to prove he was innocent, but Abby wouldn't allow herself to sleep until she nailed whoever it was who did this to Tony, I went down to the lab to bring a new Caf-Pow, she was asleep in front her computer a drink next to her face, I lift it up and she woke up with a start, frantically wanting to know what hour it was and then freaking out saying she had lost two hours…. And she died because she managed to prove he was innocent."

"I didn't think of it like this, but you're probably right." Ziva acknowledged sadly.

***~*~*~***

Tony was sitting against a building somewhere near the hospital, he didn't know exactly where he was, but didn't care. His knees were brought up in front of his chest, his elbows resting on them as he held his head in his hands.

Tears were still rolling down his cheeks. Abby was dead. The one and only woman he considered as his sister was dead. He so wished he could go back in time and bring her back even though he knew it was impossible.

Life would never be the same without his favorite Mistress of the Dark.

 _I'm so sorry, Abbs…_ he whispered looking up at the sky with blurred vision _I'm so sorry_ … Tony murmured again as his fingers tightened in his short hair.

Back at the hospital in the room where Abby was, another heartbreaking scene was taking place.

Gibbs was crying as he placed his left hand under her neck and his right under her knees. Slowly lifting her up with the sheet, he walked to the nearest wall with her in his arms then slowly turned so that his back was against the wall and then he slid slowly down until he sat on the ground with Abby in his arms. Looking down at her once more, he underlined her lower lip with his thumb.

"God… Abby… I'm so sorry…" he started in a crying voice.

Gibbs had trouble breathing. As if something at suddenly pulled all the oxygen out of his system. He took a few deep breaths in the faint hope of being able to keep his emotions on a lower level, it didn't really help and his breathing was ragged as he continued.

"How will I go further without you? You made me love life again after I lost Shannon and Kelly. You were my reason to wake up in the morning, I know I never told you, but I'm a grumpy old man who rarely shares anything let along feeling. I should know by now our time here on Earth is not eternal…" his voice trailed off as his emotions took him over.

Gibbs held her tighter, burying his face in to cook in the crook of her shoulder letting himself completely cry over the loss of *his girl*

"I should have told you I loved you, loved you more than life itself. I'm so sorry, I failed you, Abbs. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promise I made you to keep you safe. I hope you'll be able to forgive me because I can't. You hated Chip even if you didn't say it out loud I know you did and so did I. And God did I hate that thing under his nose. Jenny shouldn't have hired him in the first place. I told her work better alone, but she didn't listen. She said you were working too much, she said to give it a month and then if you were still unhappy with your new assistant we'd talk about it, and I was pissed, but I didn't push the matter as I should have." He told her as he rocked back and forth with her as if he was trying to soothe her.

"I'm so sorry…" he repeated over and over again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bethesda hospital,**

**Somewhere in the Morgue**

A tall black haired man was leaning above Abby's body, waiting. He was becoming nervous. Something was wrong. "Come on, Damn it! I checked the doses three times and I counted ten times to be sure it would work. Maybe you shouldn't have trusted me" he said, as he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was there.

Pearls of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead.

 _If someone ever discovered what I did my career's over. And if Gibbs ever find out, I'm dead._ He thought.

***~*~*~***

At NCIS everyone in the squad room was quiet. Gibbs hadn't said a word during the trip back to the building. Ziva was holding Tony's hand tightly while they were sitting in the back of the car while Ducky and McGee had taken another one.

Gibbs was present, but that was all his mind was his memories—memories of Abby.

_Abby was sitting at one of her desks in the back of her lab, her hands cupping her chin, no music was blaring, and only a few lights were on. It had been a long time since she hadn't been cheerful, but right now, there was no reason at all to be so. The forensic evidence was showing that Tony DiNozzo was guilty of murder. In her heart she was certain he didn't do it, but the evidence gave a totally different picture._

_The distinguished beeping sound of the doors sliding open, announced to her that someone was entering. A few moments later Gibbs appeared. Walking towards her, he came to a halt behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders._

" _You alright?" He asked as he massaged her neck a little._

" _I must have screwed up, Gibbs."_

" _You didn't screw up, Abbs." He told her as he sat on the desk next to her. Gibbs hated seeing her like this._

" _But now I have all this evidence. Forensics, the thing that I love and I believe in, and it says that Tony's a murderer."_

" _Tony's not a murderer," Gibbs answered, shifting positions a little to look at her._

" _I know he isn't." Abby sighs. "Something's gotta give. Either the forensics are wrong it's bad forensics. Or…" she trailed off then looked up at Gibbs. "We have to save him Gibbs."_

_Gibbs stood up and bent over her a little as he placed a hand on her back. "We will."_

" _Because if this goes to court, with his fingerprint and the bite mark on the leg, Tony's going to prison for the rest of his life… and I'll be the one to put him there." She explained looking anxious and moving her hands nervously._

_With a sad and worried look in his eyes Gibbs placed a kiss on the top of Abby's head._

Then another memory played back in his mind…

" _Abby!" Still nothing in return._

_It was then that he saw her body lying motionless and covered in blood. He ran to her, as did Tony…_

" _Call an ambulance!" Gibbs and Tony yelled in unison._

_At that, McGee managed to shake himself and pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket._

_Ziva, who watched the scene without saying a word, noticed something strange blinking somewhere behind a counter. She carefully passed the group and came closer to what was shining. Then she saw that it was a knife, the same knife that had probably injured Abby._

" _Where is the damn ambulance?" Gibbs yelled._

" _On its way, boss," Tim said._

_Gibbs went to Chip, clearly enraged. Someone who really knew him could see that his eyes were brimming with tears. He could not understand why on earth someone would want to hurt Abigail Sciuto—she was kind, lovely, helpful, an amazing friend… no, Gibbs could definitely not understand why someone would want to harm Abby._

_Tony realized how badly his friend was hurt when he held her closer to him. His shirt started becoming red the second he placed her against his chest. He felt a tremor of fear run through him._

_Hearing Tony's plea, Gibbs turned around and got up quickly, rushing to Tony and Abby. Ziva did the same. His body shivered with fear. He looked at Tony then shifted his gaze to Abby, and suddenly realization flooded him._

" _NO, NO, NO… she's not gonna die on me!" Gibbs stated._

_Gibbs performed CPR on his lab tech with the energy of desperation. "Abby, come on, honey, don't do this to me, don't die on me. Come back to me. I need you!" he said forcefully as tears started to roll down his cheeks._

_Then they had arrived at the hospital and I had to let go to let them take over. And then, that doctor came, dropping a bomb by saying:_

_The doctor passed through the doors, and Gibbs immediately stood up. As he saw the doctor's face and eyes he knew. A wave of anger rose through him._

" _We did everything we could to save her…"_

Gibbs closed his eyes, against a flow of emotions hoping to keep them at bay. He had to stop thinking, stop remembering… but it was impossible. His mind kept going back to that room in the hospital where she'd been lying on a table.

" _God… Abby… I'm so sorry…" he started in a crying voice._

_Gibbs had trouble breathing. As if something had suddenly pulled all the oxygen out of his system. He took a few deep breaths in the faint hope of being able to keep his emotions on a lower level, it didn't really help and his breathing was ragged as he continued._

" _How will I go on without you? You made me love life again after I lost Shannon and Kelly. You were my reason to wake up in the morning, I know I never told you, but I'm a grumpy old man who rarely shares anything let along feeling. I should know by now our time here on Earth is not eternal…" his voice trailed off as his emotions took him over._

_Gibbs held her tighter, burying his face in to cry in the crook of her shoulder letting himself completely cry over the loss of *his girl*_

" _I should have told you I loved you, loved you more than life itself. I'm so sorry, I failed you, Abbs. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promise I made to keep you safe. I hope you'll be able to forgive me because I can't. You hated Chip even if you didn't say it out loud. I know you did and so did I. And God did I hate that thing under his nose. Jenny shouldn't have hired him in the first place. I told her you work better alone, but she didn't listen. She said you were working too much, she said to give it a month and then if you were still unhappy with your new assistant we'd talk about it, and I was pissed, but I didn't push the matter as I should have." He told her as he rocked back and forth with her as if he was trying to soothe her._

" _I'm so sorry…" he repeated over and over again._

Without being aware of doing so, Jethro repeated "I'm sorry" out loud. The other agents looked at him, but didn't say a word. Staring back at them Gibbs then left. They all watched him silently as he took the stairs to MTAC.

"This isn't good." Tony remarked in a hoarse voice.

Tony didn't say anything more to the others, but he had a pretty good idea of what his boss was about to do. Tony felt responsible for what had happened to Abby and so did Gibbs, but there was also another person apart from Chip that they both blamed for what had happened…

NCIS Director, Jenny Shepard.

Tony had seen the way his boss had looked at the Director when she wanted to apply pressure with her hand on Abby's wound. There was no way Leroy Jethro Gibbs was going to leave it like that.

By the time Cynthia realized what was happening he was already in Jenny's office. The poor door was the one to suffer first, because it had flown open without consideration.

Jenny was startled, and stood up when Gibbs work toward her desk. She looked at him intently.

"You know that doors don't only open, right? You have to close them too."

"I don't care about your bloody damn door, Jen!" he replied in an angered voice, facing her.

"How's Abby, doing?" She asked.

Gibbs didn't answered.

"Jethro?"

It's then she realized that his eyes were slightly puffed and red.

"She's dead."

"I'm sorry…" Jen started and tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but the look he gave her stopped her of doing so.

"Don't you dare… Don't you dare sorry me, I told you that Abby was better left alone in her lab, but no, you wouldn't listen, telling me to give Chip a month. Just because of a few agents that called her _energizer Abby_. Now, here we are not a month later, Jen, and Abby's dead. SHE IS DEAD!"

"And you're blaming me for it."

"Damn right I do."

"So tell me, Jethro, why didn't push and insist for me to fire Chip?"

Gibbs's eyes darkened dangerously. "Oh, no! Ma'am the NCIS Director. Don't try to push your mistakes on me; you always insist so much that **_you_** are the director, that **_you_** are the one who makes the decisions.

She opened her mouth to reply, but closed it almost immediately looking at the man who had once been her lover, in another lifetime. His eyes were still that amazing shade of blue, but what they reflected was no longer love for her. What they reflected today was a mixture of anger, sadness and contempt.

What they once had shared in Paris had disappeared.

Sheppard looked down as she so often did when they stared at each other, she couldn't hold his gaze for long.

Gibbs tuned on his heels and left her office not bothering to close the door behind him. As he came down, his team was watching him.

"I'm going out for coffee, somebody wants something?" He asked.

Eyeing each other discretely, Ziva answered him. "No, thanks."

Without further word, their boss headed toward the elevator. Pressing the button to call it then waiting until it stopped and for the doors to slide open. As he enters, he lets out a sigh. Gibbs moved to the opposite panel and then turned to lean against it, letting his hands absently hold the bar. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

_Why did you have to go so soon? I didn't even have the time to tell you I love you. I have this crazy wish that if something or someone would give me a second chance with you, I swear to God that I'll tell you that I love you, Abbs… and as for Chip his time will come, and I would have my sweet revenge._

The elevator halted and he opened his eyes and exited. When he came of the NCIS building, he realized that it was raining. And once again his mind drifted off.

_Gibbs, was heading back from the coffee-shop, a large polystyrene cup in his hands that contained strong black coffee, The rain was pouring down, and just when he was about to walk in front of the little window of Abby's lab that showed from the street, something came near his forehead and followed by the sound of breaking glass._

_The grip on his coffee loosened, making it fall, the dark brown liquid splashed out of the cup as it ended it's course on the wet ground. He dashed to Abby's lab. Once inside he turned off all the lights and crawled next to her on the cold ground of the lab, placing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her to him. And in response she had placed her hand in his._

Gibbs realized he'd give anything to be able to hug her again. He walked, head down, trying once more to understand why.

***~*~*~***

**Meanwhile at the morgue,**

**Bethesda hospital**

"Come on! Come back!" he repeated over and over again, until finally… she opened her eyes. "YES! Thank God I didn't kill you."

Abby slowly turned her head, her eyes focusing on her friend. "You couldn't have, I recalculated it myself."

"Has anyone told you, you're crazy?"

"Yeah, I know Derek. Do you have clothes for me?" She asked, as she slowly sat up straight on the table, holding up the sheet against her chest. "And be sure to check my vitals several times. And…"

"Yes, I know Abby."

"Sorry," she smiled softly.

"Abby!! Do you realize what a risk you've taken? I know a lot of people who wouldn't have done something as crazy as taking tetrodotoxin purposefully to fake your death. You're not leaving my side for twenty-four hours. You ingested a non-lethal dose, but still."

"Okay, okay" she pouted.

"Now go get dressed."

Sliding slowly of the table, Abby reached and took her clothing from his hands. As she went further into the hospital morgue to find a place where she could get dressed, Abby's thoughts drifted toward Gibbs.

_I'm not even sure you'll ever be able to forgive me, but I had no choice. And the worst is that I can't talk to you before 24 hours, and hope you'll still want to talk to me. And I so hope that you'll understand that I did it for you._

"Abby you alright back there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there."

Abby came back a few minutes later, smiling.

"No difficulties breathing?"

"No, no, I'm perfectly fine, I swear"

"I used a little mini tiny dose. I'm not tired of living yet. It was already hard enough for me to do it. Gibbs's life is in the balance."

"I know you told me, but still, I really think you took a way too big risk."

"I'd do anything to protect Gibbs."

"That's for sure…"

***~*~*~***

Gibbs was heading back to NCIS in the now pouring rain, coffee in hand. His mind was in over drive as he was wondered about something.

When Kate died, she came haunting him, because he blamed himself for not stopping Ari. So why wasn't he seeing Abby? He blames himself for her death too and Abby and him were so much closer, so why doesn't he see her?

Didn't that mean she wasn't really dead? Sure Jethro, now you are going completely crazy. Abby's not dead how can you even think that? You were holding her in your arms, and she was cold. But still, he had this strange sensation as if his gut was telling something he didn't quite understand yet.

And if the crazy stuff he was starting to think about could possibly be true, why would she have done this?

No, that's impossible, he thought, and dismissed the idea. His mind was making this up because it refused to accept the fact that Abby was dead, that is all it was.

As he entered the building, his clothes were drenched. Taking a sip of his coffee, Jethro listened absently as his agents were talked. He walked towards his desk, opening the drawer that contained his spare clothes, Gibbs took them out and headed for the men's room.

"I wonder what's going through his head right now." McGee said.

"Murder, and torture…" he heard Tony and Ziva answer in unison.

Timothy McGee looked at them startled.

"Right, as if you didn't think about it, McGee" Tony asked him, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Sure, but that won't bring her back."

"Yeah, well it sure would make us feel a little bit better." Ziva said, dryly.

"How the hell can you be so detached? She was your friend!"

McGee wanted to answer, but it was use, fighting right now was ridiculous and Abby wouldn't have wanted it. So Tim just went to sit behind his computer deciding to try to make himself useful.

Once Gibbs finished changing his clothes, he came back for two minutes and then headed to the elevator. A few minutes later, he was standing in Abby's lab. Nothing had been touched since the tragedy had happened. Gibbs let his eyes scan the place as he switch on the lights, it was still a mess. Evidence of fighting was clearly visible: Caf-Pow was spilled all over the floor, mixed with blood, a pool of blood, Abby's blood. At the sight of it Gibbs felt a wave of pure rage rise through him.

His eyes were fixed to the floor intently for a few more moments as if transfixed by the view in front of him, Abby's smiling face appeared in it. And suddenly the wave of rage he felt intensified. Staring at her image a little more Gibbs then left the lab at a heavy pace.

As he exited the elevator, his team members wondered what was going on because their boss was visibly pissed off by something.

"McGee look for anything you can find on Chip, if he had a computer, hack it! I want to know if he had a personal life. EVERYTHING there is to know about him, I want to know it. Tony check out his file and take Ziva with you, and go his apartment, his house, wherever he lives."

His agents looked at him surprised.

"What? You didn't really think that we were going to let that bastard get away with it, did you?"

"No, boss! On it boss!"

Gibbs knew that he wasn't going to be easy for them, but putting them to work again was the best thing to do, like they had done when they'd lost Kate, all their anger and grief and been focused into their work, and they had worked better and faster.

"Duck…"

"I know Gibbs, Abby's body." The ME said sadly.

NCIS Special Agent Gibbs left the NCIS building once more. He had to go and verify something, but first he needed to go back to his place. During the trip to his home his mind was filled with Shannon, Kelly and Abby: the three loves of his life, all three lost. Right now though, the thoughts he was having were of happy moments he'd shared with them.

As he arrived at his home Gibbs head straight for his bathroom—he had never done that before, but he needed to clear his head, and he hoped that taking a shower would help him. He turned on both faucets and went to his bedroom to grab new spare clothes and two towels. Back in the bathroom he took his clothes off, not bothering to care where or how they fell on the ground. He stepped in the shower stall and letting the water run over him he closed his eyes.

Gibbs pressed his elbows against the panel in front of him, which forced him to bend forward a little, the hot water was now flowing down the lines of his back, lower back, butt, his legs and finally came to rest on the shower floor. A sad sign escaped his lips.

How often hadn't he fantasized that Abby was taking a shower with him, kissing each other desperately as if they were each other's lifeline. But that was only fantasy and there was no way now that it would one day become reality.

 _Shannon why did I have to lose her too?_ Gibbs murmured.

Things are not always what they look like, sweetheart.

His head snapped up abruptly, he looked over his shoulder but no one was there, though he was fairly certain that Shannon had answers him.

_You're not seeing her, remember? Listen to your heart, and you'll know._

Turning off the faucets, he opened his eyes. Gibbs stepped out off the shower stall and reached for the towels. Drying himself off, he then reached for his clothes, as he was putting his pair of jeans on he felt slightly better knowing that the crazy wish he had had earlier wasn't that impossible after all.

But as he exited his home a bunch of new questions were torturing him. _If Abby was still alive why did she fake her death, why put us through so much pain, that was so not like her, she loved each member of the team way too much unless…_

***~*~*~***

**Somewhere a few miles away**

**From Bethesda**

Abby was getting crazy with impatience, she needed to see Gibbs, she had to see him or she would drive everybody nuts. She wasn't able to use a computer, neither was she allowed to use her cell-phone, and technically she still needed to be checked out after her 'purposefully tetrodotoxin ingestion' the dose was just enough to make her appear dead, but it still was a poisoning.

"I'm telling you guys, I'm perfectly fine." Abby stated.

"Abby, you are staying here until, we are sure you are really doing okay. Gibbs is going to be pissed enough at me when he finds out that I knew and helped you. And I'm not the only one, and no, I'm not taking about you, because you are the only person on earth who might do what ever she wants."

"Fornell, you know full well that if I had had another way I would have done it, but faking my own death was the only possible way to handle things, you said yourself when I came to you that it was the only option"

"Yeah, I know."

"I swear, Tobias, I'll stay here long enough to make sure I'm really fine seeing as you guys don't believe me, but then I'll tell Gibbs!"

**Meanwhile at Bethesda**

Donald Mallard and Jimmy Palmer entered the hospital. At the reception they asked for the medical team that took care of Abby when they brought her in earlier, the nurse informed them that she didn't exactly know where to find them.

At that moment, Ducky saw the doctor that had told him Abby had died.

"Excuse me, doctor?"

"Yes, what can I do to help you?"

"Doctor Mallard, I'm the NCIS medical examiner, I was here earlier… Abigail Sciuto"

"Oh, yeah, I'm Dr. Wallace, I'm so sorry …"

"Thank you. Could you please tell me where I could find Miss Sciuto's body please; we'd like to take her back with us."

"Huh… I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid that's not gonna be possible…" The doctor told Ducky as little uneasily.

"What do you mean it is not gonna be possible?" Ducky said in a irritated voice.

"Well, it kind a disappeared, there's been a paperwork mix up, and Miss Sciuto's body has been sent away for cremation after the autopsy was performed."

"Please, tell me you are kidding?" Ducky asked angrily.

"I'm afraid not doctor."

"Don't you double check the identities of the bodies that are supposed to be send away for cremation?"

"Well, yes, normally we do, but we are short personnel and…"

"That's NOT an EXCUSE, Miss Sciuto was a Federal Agent! She was NOT meant to be CREMATED!"

By now all the people around were watching them. Wondering why the older man was barking at Dr. Wallace like that.

"THIS IS UNADMISSIBLE!!!!!" Ducky almost yelled now.

Ducky couldn't believe that they'd made such a tremendous mistake. What would they do now, how was he going to explain this to Gibbs?

"And I suppose the autopsy report is gone too?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Mallard."

_Now, this is getting better by the minute, how in hell could they lose both the corpse_ **_and_ ** _the autopsy report? I won't leave this without an explanation."_

Ducky left without a word, followed in a hurry by a very confused, Jimmy Palmer. Not once in his career had the Scottish man experienced something like this. When they were back on the road to NCIS, Ducky was still fumbling.

"Dr, maybe we should tell Gibbs about the fact that they 'confused' Abby with someone else."

"I know Mister Palmer, but right now, I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell him"

Ducky sighed, and took his cell phone out of the pocket of his NCIS jacket. He took a deep breath before pressing the speed dial key for Gibbs.

***~*~*~***

Gibbs was lost in his thoughts wondering why he heard Shannon whispering, telling him that things were not always as they looked, as if to confirm his idea that Abby wasn't really dead. He was feeling very conflicted inside.

If she wasn't dead, then how did she fake it the way she did, he had held her in his arms and she had felt so cold. He knew Abby could do incredible things, but this?

His cell phone rang, as he check the caller idea, he arched an eye brow.

"Ducky, you can't have the results so fast…"

["Gibbs, I'm on my way back to NCIS, but without, Abby."]

"WHAT?"

["There's been a mix up…."]

"Duck, what do you exactly mean by mix up?" Gibbs asked in a very calm voice.

["Someone apparently signed for a cremation."]

"Ducky, don't say that you are trying to tell me that Abbs has been cremated." Gibbs said in a now somewhat angry voice.

["I'm afraid so, Jethro…"]

Gibbs hung up. Now the leader of the team was really pissed, but then Shannon's words sounded in his ears again: _You're not seeing her, remember? Listen to your heart, and you'll know._

_Okay, I'm still not seeing her so…_

His cell phone rang again, this time it was Tony. "Yeah, DiNozzo?"

["Boss, this guy was a freak, there're not only pictures of me on his walls as he tried to frame me, but there are also pictures of Abbs everywhere. On his wall, the entire house and in bedroom it's the worst. He had an notebook where he recorded everything and there's a name that comes up several times as well as a nickname…"]

"Bag and tag everything and bring everything back. And don't forget…"

["To take pictures… yes, I know." ]

When he was about to answer Tony, he felt something in his gut. _Abby_ He whispered.

["You alright, boss?" ]

"Tony I'll be back in two hours. Take care of everything while I'm away. Need to check something out."

["Boss?"] Tony called, but Gibbs had already disconnected.

Ziva who was not standing far away from Tony, looked at him questioningly as she came closer to him.

"Something wrong?" Ziva asked concerned.

"I'm not sure." Tony replied, pensively.

"Well, what did he say?"

"To take over, that there was something he needed to check out, and I might be wrong but I had the impression he whispered Abby's name before he hung up."

"Maybe he needs to spend some time alone. We all know how he was like with her, she was his favorite."

"If he had needed some time alone, he would have said so, Ziva. He's way too calm. You just said it yourself, Abby was his favorite, his weak spot even. So it doesn't make any sense."

"Gibbs is a Marine, Tony, not the type of man to show his emotions." Ziva remarked.

"I know that, but still, it's Abby's death, not just anybody's. It's like he's acting as if nothing happened."

"Maybe it's his way to deal with it?"

"Yeah, or maybe something's really wrong."

"Give him some credit, DiNozzo… and we better finish this and bring it back to Ab…" Ziva trailed off as she realized what she was about to say, looking sadly at Tony.

***~*~*~***

One of the FBI agents who was keeping an eye on the NCIS lab tech, was running now like mad through the house where they were supposed to watch over her for at least nine more hours. Fornell who was just coming out of the living room, saw him and frowned.

"Agent Moore why are you running as if you've just seen a ghost?"

"I…I… was looking… for you, sir." Moore answered slightly out of breath.

"And why's that?"

"She's gone, sir."

"WHAT???" Fornell yelled.

"She's gone, she said she needed to take a shower. And after she didn't respond when I asked her if she was doing okay… I entered and the window was open."

"I thought those windows couldn't be opened?"

"That's right sir, but she must have found a way, there was no broken glass, the window was just open. Do we need to go find her, sir?"

"No don't bother I know where she went, I'm surprised she managed to wait this long."

"Sir?"

"Go back on your post and wait for new instructions."

"Yes, sir."

Fornell watched as Agent Moore went back in the opposite direction shaking his head. He himself went back to the living room and sat back on couch he'd left a few minutes ago. Asking himself when Gibbs would finally say what was so obvious to anyone who could watch them interact with each other.

***~*~*~***

Gibbs parked his car in front of his house for the second time in a little less than two hours. Stepping out of it, he thought once more that he was going crazy.

As he entered his house, he barely took the time to close the door behind him. Gibbs threw his car keys on the table. Then he headed straight for his basement.

He could feel his heartbeat rise as he descended the steps one by one. As he came down the last step he stopped briefly, and then turned on the light that was right above his work bench. Gibbs looked over the skeleton of his boat and saw nothing at first, but he could sense movement, turning his head toward where the movements came from. His eyes widened slightly and someone slowly came out of the only shadowed place left in the basement.

"Hey, Gibbs…" came a very familiar voice.

As she finally came completely out of the dark, Gibbs first thought that he was dreaming or that his imagination had somehow materialized her in front of him.

There she was standing in front of him, alive. Her eyes red and puffy, tears running down her cheek, but alive.

"I'm so sorry, Gibbs. Please don't be mad at me. I'm so sorry…" Abby told him in a cracked voice full of sadness and regret.

Gibbs was paralyzed for a few seconds, desperately trying to control him emotions. Then after several agonizing moments, a few words came out of his mouth.

"Please, tell me you're not a ghost."

Unable to reply in words, Abby shook her head negatively. They slowly walked toward each other, not breaking eye contact for a single moment. Gibbs was afraid that if he did, she would vanish into thin air.

Stopping a few millimeters in front of each other, Abby reach out to hug him fiercely. Gibbs's arms encircled her slender frame and held her tightly as tears rolled down cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs, I'm sorry I put you through this. I'm sorry." She repeated over and over again.

As a response Gibbs tightened his arms even more around her.


	8. Chapter 8

After a few minutes of holding each other tightly Gibbs pulled back, looking at Abby intently, His eyes brimming with unshed tears.

He pulled back to be able to look at her green eyes - those same green eyes he thought he'd never seen shine again. They were so beautiful even full of tears.

"Please don't be mad at me."

"I wouldn't be able to, even if I wanted to, Abbs, but why? Why put us through so much pain and grief?"

"You have to promise me, you won't tell the others that I'm still alive. At work you have to act as if you didn't know, I'm alive, please, Gibbs, Promise me, it's a matter of life and dead." She pleaded him.

"Why not?"

"Don't ask; just do as I say, please. I broke the rules already; I wasn't supposed to let you know that all this is a set up. No one is supposed to know I'm still, it's bad enough already as it is now." She told him.

Surprised at her words, Gibbs frowned. "Who's rules did you break, Abbs?"

Abby looked at the floor for a minute, then murmured "The FBI's" her eyes lifted back up to look at him again, her eyes moistening again "I'm sorry Gibbs I had no other choice, it was for everyone's safety."

"You telling me Fornell knew about this?"

Abby nodded her head.

"Abby..."

"I promise, I'll tell you everything when the time's right, Gibbs. But right now you have to keep acting as if you'd still think I'm dead. I should go back to Fornell now."

"No, you're not going back, Abbs. You're staying with me." Gibbs told her as he tightened his grip on her, though he kept careful not to hurt her.

"But Gibbs..." She started to protest.

"No, buts", he said, and wanted to place his index finger on her lips, but she stopped him.

"Don't. There might been some residue of Tetrodotoxin left. And as I'm not completely sure of it, I'm not taking any risks.

"Abby, you've taking too many risks already. So let me take one."

"In another twelve hours, you might touch me as much as you want." She told him a mischievous glint in her eyes and Gibbs couldn't help but smile. Abby was slowly coming back to herself and she had stop crying.

"You want something to drink?"

"No thanks, I'm good." She said smiling at him, as she disentangled herself from him.

Something was bothering him as he thought about it.

"Abbs, how come I can't touch your lips with my finger without risk as we hugged without risk?"

Abby smiled and slowly lifted her clothes, and it's then that he noticed that she was wearing gloves and she was also wearing some sort of wetsuit under what she was wearing.

Suddenly her smiled disappeared and her face turned serious again, Gibbs worried instantly."Abby, you feeling okay?"

"Hum? Yeah, I'm fine, Gibbs."

"You sure?" He asked her not really convinced by her words.

"Yeah, nothing to be worried about. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Us... I mean... oh hell. I was thinking about us and how scared I've been to lose you forever, and never being able to tell you I..." Her voice trailed off.

"Tell me what, Abbs?:"

"I thought you would never want to see me again when you would discover what I had done, even if it was to save you. I was okay about that, but when time passed by I realized I started to me you - all of you - NCIS is my family, but *you* ..."

"Me what, Abbs?" He asked as he took a step forward.

"You were the one I was missing most. I knew at that moment that no matter what would happen, I had to let you know I was still alive, even as Fornell insisted that I couldn't. But the idea of you thinking I was dead was killing me, Gibbs. I know, telling you wasn't the smartest move, but to me it was the right thing to do."

"Abby, when I thought I had lost you forever, it just killed me inside it was as if I was projected back in time when I learned that Shannon and Kelly had been killed. At first I refused to believe it. I didn't react at first, but then I entered the room when they had placed you and saw you, my blood went cold and I thought my heart was going to stop, I was reliving the same pain all over again - it was even worse." Gibbs told her, wondering where all these words where coming from, and looked at her intently hoping she would understand, what he was trying to tell her, he hoped she would be able to read between the lines.

"I'm sorry; I put you through this, Gibbs. I really am." Abby told him in a broken voice. I wish I could have done it otherwise..." Then she locked her gaze with his and added "My silver haired fox." A gentle, timid smile appearing on her lips, letting him know, with these words that she had read between the lines.

Gibbs couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his lips then.

_Things would be back to normal again pretty soon and with a little luck they'd even be better than before..._

In Abby's lab that was now a crime scene, everything was bagged and tagged. They were all very busy once more, hopeing not to think too much about how that they had lost a dear friend and a very valuable co-worker, though it wasn't easy due to the fact that they were working in her lab.

 _Why of all cases, did he choose to leave me in charge now? And by the way, where did he go?_ Tony couldn't help but think.

Gibbs must have had a very good reason to leave, and he also know that Abby's death wasn't acceptable for Gibbs, it wasn't acceptable for any one of them, they all had a very special band with her.

_Damn it Gibbs!_

Tony was struggling with his feelings, and he was pissed because he couldn't compartmentalize his emotions and couldn't handle the case like it would have been any others, he couldn't detach himself from it and to be honest that's what he wished he could do so he would feel less pain.

Tony passed the fridge absently, took a quick look, and walked further, but took a few steps back and almost dropped the evidence bags he was holding in his hands. He stopped dead and stared at something that was in the fridge.

"I can't do this, I just can't." He said, walked over to McGee handed him over the bags and walked out of the lab.

Timothy looked at Ziva, who was also looking at him, stunned by DiNozzo's reaction.

I really can't do this anymore. This is too hard to deal with. Why don't they ever teach us how to deal with the loss of a friend or a colleague? It hadn't been easy losing Kate, but with Abby it seemed to hurt so much more. He could confide in her and she wouldn't judge him. She would tell him sometimes that he should be more careful or tease him, but that's all, he knew that she loved him as a friend, a brother even and that she would always be there for him

 _Always_ , a word that sounded so stupid and unreal to him right now; always is a utopia and meaningless word in reality. Always don't exist; one can't say he or she will always be there because it's impossible because nobody's eternal.

Problem is one would like to live alone sometimes, have nobody to care about so when they die we wouldn't care and wouldn't be hurt, but doing that isn't a valuable solution either because then you'd end up depressed because all you'd do then is think about what you don't have, no one to share anything with, to love or to hug or to tease.

Conclusion: it's better to feel and being hurt than not to feel at all.

 _Abby what am I suppose to do now?_ _How am I supposed to keep going forward without my best friend?_

Tony needed some fresh air or he would go insane that he was sure of it. _Why the hell did Sheppard bring Chip in anyway? If she hadn't Abby wouldn't be dead by now. Being a director didn't mean you were able to make the right decisions._

DiNozzo knew that bashing wasn't a good thing to do, but he needed to do something, to blame someone, but right now he couldn't do otherwise. He took the elevator and then exited the building without talking to anyone.

Ziva stood up wordlessly and went to the spot where Tony had been standing on, a couple of moments before; she wanted to know why he had walked out of the lab. She turned to face the fridge, but she didn't quite see anything that would have cause her partner in crime to have such a reaction


	9. Chapter 9

She took a step closer and that caused her eyes to widen. Ziva let out a sigh. McGee who was still at his spot collecting the evidence looked up at her intake of breath. Frowning as he saw her standing as if she was suddenly glued to the ground she was standing on. Tim stood up then, careful not to hit anything of the stuff he hadn't bagged and tagged yet. He walked over to where she was and looked at what she was staring it.

He sighed heavily, as he felt his heart tighten.

He had always known Tony and Abby were close friends, but he never thought that Abby considered him as her big brother. Now McGee could understand a bit better why Tony's reactions have been so vivid since Abby's dead.

In the spot their eyes were like glued on now, was a picture frame, showing them laughing as if they were seeing the most hilarious thing in the world. Tony's right arm was resting on her shoulders and Abby had her arms encircling his waist, her head leaning forward as she was laughing so hard.

It was a picture neither Tim nor Ziva had ever seen before. Apparently Tony didn't tell everything about his life as the two agents thought he did. Next to the frame was another frame, in which a piece of paper was framed in. Both of them could easily decipher Tony''s hand writing.

_I'll always be your big bother and I'll always protect you._

_Whenever something goes wrong you can always count on me_

_Yeah, I know you'll come to me when Gibbs can't help you._

_Gibbs you love so much, but will never tell anyone, not even him._

_You should though, I'm sure loves you too._

_Thank you so much, Abbs for seeing past that mask_

_I put on to protect myself. Thanks so much for being there_

_For me, Thanks for being you, promise me to never change._

_Love from your big brother, Tony_

Something more was added to the small letter of Tony in the frame. A four-leaf clover decorated the lower right corner of the paper the words were written on.

After a moment, McGee looked at Ziva.

"Did you know they were so close?"

"Well, I've always thought they were close, but not that close. All the team is - was - fond of Abby, but I never thought they shared such a deep bound."

"Me neither." McGee remarked sadly.

Ziva saw the shadow of sadness in McGee's blue eyes and added. "Tim, Tony and Abby knew one another a long time before you joined the team." And she placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

"I know, but I thought Abby and I were close, you know we've had something together."

"McGee, I'm not sure jealousy has its place right know. And I know Tony drives you nuts and teases you most of the time, but he's really not good, right now. And we have to focus to find the person who did this to her. Nothing else matters."

"Did you know about her feelings for Gibbs?"

At McGee's question Ziva sighed, slightly exasperated by her colleague.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen it." She told him as if it was really the most obvious thing in the world.

"No I didn't." He said looking at her sincerity shining in his blue eyes.

"I'll have to teach you to read people, someday." She signed.

Looking slightly hurt McGee went back to the task they were at before Tony left the lab.

Abby was sitting on a futon that she would throw away later on. She was looking at Gibbs who was sipping on a coffee mug. They hadn't exchange a word in a while now, they were just observing one another.

Gibbs was acting as though if he were to look somewhere else, Abby would vanish into thin air. As for Abby, she didn't look elsewhere because like him, she thought if she would look in another direction everything would disappear.

Fornell's words spooked in Abby's mind. _Don't tell anyone, Don't tell anyone, Don't tell anyone,_ but she had broken that promise already, sure she hadn't tell anyone, not even Gibbs, but he knew she was alive and refused to let her go back.

The question was what step did she have to set next? Telling Gibbs everything or keep him in the dark. Or he could still figure it out on his own. That would just be perfect - she would not break her promise any further. And most of the time when Gibbs knew things he wasn't supposed to know, everything went smoothly

 _Please Gibbs figure out the truth, please figure it out without me having to tell you anything, please do so._ She thought pretty hard hopping that somehow they'd be connected by brain and that he would just be able to read her mind.

Gibbs opened his mouth to say something then, but closed it again as he heard some footsteps in his house. Abby's eyes widened and Gibbs could read the fear in them. Gibbs stood up and told her in sign language not to move from her spot, and that he would come back down as soon as he got whoever it was upstairs to leave. Gibbs hurried up the stairs, preventing the person that had entered his house to come down to look for him into his basement like most of the people did who knew him.

As he was standing on the top step of the staircase, Leroy Jethro turned and to look down at her so beautiful face one more time, a small smile appearing on his lips.

"Boss, you there?" They heard a familiar voice call after him.

Sadness covered Abby's face in a instant as she made Gibbs promise to keep their secret safe in ASL. Gibbs signed back at her not to worry that he wouldn't tell anything as long as she didn't give him permission to do so.

Gibbs left the door ajar as he went in search for his agent.

"Yeah, I'm here, DiNozzo." She could hear him say to Tony.

Abby stood there alone and silent in the basement, listening to the conversation between her boss and her 'big brother' as she loved to call him. Hey eyes brimmed with tears as she heard Tony mention the four leaf clover time they had had, so much fun that day both of them, and they had taken lots of pictures and one of those she had had framed and she had placed in the fridge with the letter he had written to her that day. Abby had placed it there because she didn't want everyone to see it, not that anyone didn't know who close they were but what happened between them didn't always have to be shared with the world.

Tony sat in Gibbs's living-room couch looking extremely sad and overly stressed, and Gibbs noticed that he had been crying. And he seemed so nervous. Gibbs was surprised to see his younger agent like this. He normally wouldn't have done it because they were still on duty, but Tony seemed like he could use some alcohol.

He went to get two glasses, then poured some amber colored liquid in them. Gibbs put the bottle back in its place then took the two glasses and handed one to Tony, telling him to take a sip as he himself sat on the couch next to him.

"I want that bastard Gibbs, I want him, and preferably dead." Tony told his boss after he had taken a sip of the amber liquid.

"I know, Tony, I know, I want the same thing," he said pensively.

"I feel so empty now, as if I'm constantly missing something. I feel as if someone has killed my baby sister, Gibbs, and it hurts so damn much."

"I know the feeling, Tony, ..." Gibbs answered without thinking.

Tony, who was looking down in the glass he was holding in his hand, looked at him, skeptically.

"Are you telling me you were seeing Abby like a sister or daughter even?"

Tony didn't get any answer to his question, Gibbs was stubbornly looking elsewhere.

In the basement, Abby at let herself fallen to the ground, heart-broken by the fact she had broken her big brother's heart, but also because Gibbs hadn't answered his questions.

Had she dreamed all this? Wasn't he loving her at all?

"Come on Gibbs, you might make McGee believe it, but not me, I've seen the way you looked at her sometimes, I see the way she was making you smile by just saying something, your face lit up when you came down to her lab. I might look silly or stupid on the outside, but that is not exactly what I am on the inside, Gibbs." DiNozzo said, solemnly

"I know that, Tony, I know."

"She told me to tell you, in case the worst happen, that she was in love with you." he said in a broken voice. And added, "Damn Gibbs, why aren't you out there searching for answers to find the bastard to put him behind bars or even kill him. I wouldn't blame you and I wouldn't tell anyone either," Tony yelled, his eyes full of tears, bringing his glass his lips he swallowed down the last of the alcohol that was in it.

Tony was ready to walk away when Gibbs stopped him by the simple mention of his name.

His agent stopped and turned to face his boss.

"You wanna know why? I'm gonna tell you why."

All Tony did was eyeing his boss as tears ran down his cheeks, not even carrying about showing his chagrin.

"Losing Abby has broken me, DiNozzo, I'm pissed at myself since it happened, I keep telling myself I'm responsible for what's happened, I should have seen it coming, I should have insisted that Abby didn't need an assistant to help her in the lab, but I didn't. I let the Director have her will, and now Abby's dead. She died because of me. She died before I was able to tell her that I was in love with her. And all that because I was too damn scared of what I felt and still feel for her. I love her so much it hurts DiNozzo, I feel as if someone has ripped my heart out of my chest for the second time... " His voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry, boss." Tony said, moving closer to him again.

"I was afraid that if in case I'd lost her, but now I lost her anyway... If you ever fall in love, tell that woman you love her every day." This time it was Gibbs's voice that broke, and Tony did what he would have done with any other member of the team. He hugged his boss.

Beneath them, Abby cured herself for what she's put her friends through, but she also cursed herself for being so smart and curious. If she hadn't figured things out, they wouldn't be in that situation. On the other hand if she hadn't, they might be all dead by now except for Tony who'd would lived longer because he'd be in prison waiting for his execution for the murder of his colleagues.

Abby promised herself that when all this was over she would tell her friends how much she love them every day and would definitely show Gibbs how much she loves him every day for the rest of her life.


	10. Chapter 10

**Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller**

As Abby heard the front door close, she closed her eyes... new tears were rolling down her cheeks and she start to wonder how many she would cry again. She had done everything with the only purpose to protect them, but not once second had she thought of the consequences.

Well that wasn't entirely true either, she had been thinking of what the situation would bring with: chagrin, tears, and incomprehension, and lots of other things, Abby had known it would be hard, but not **_that_** hard. As she heard how much Tony was hurt because of the decision she had made, she had wanted so much to run upstairs and hug Tony, telling him it was all a lie that she was pretty much alive, but she knew she couldn't.

If she did it would have meant exposing the team. Abby hoped though that her friends would find the strength to forgive her, it's not because Gibbs forgave her that the others would. She feared that Tony wouldn't. They were so close, they normally told each other everything and this time she hadn't said a word to him… instead she had chosen to come to Gibbs.

Abby wondered why she did what she did. What were her real motivations behind her decision? They had specifically told them that if she tried to tell anyone about what she'd found out it would signified that she had signed the team's death warrant. So why did she take the risk to tell Gibbs the truth? What it because he meant so much more to her than she wanted to admit to herself that she couldn't bear the fact that he thought she was dead when she wasn't?

Abby didn't really know. Wait... Wait... Suddenly, remembering a particular thing her ears had picked up in the conversation that Gibbs and Tony had had.

_Losing Abby has broken me, DiNozzo. I'm pissed at myself since it happened, I keep telling myself I'm responsible for what's happened, I should have seen it coming, I should have insisted that Abby didn't need an assistant to help her in the lab, but I didn't. I let the Director have her way, and now Abby's dead. She died because of me. She died before I was able to tell her that I was in love with her. And all that because I was too damn scared of what I felt and still feel for her. I love her so much it hurts DiNozzo, I feel as if someone has ripped my heart out of my chest for the second time..._

_Gibbs loves me._

Gibbs loves me. Abby knew the real meaning behind his words, Gibbs loved her like a lover, the forensic scientist of NCIS didn't know why, she just knew, though she could feel doubts rise inside. Tears rolled down her cheeks once again; since all this had started she didn't trust anyone anymore, not even herself. She had landed onto an emotion rollercoaster that was driving her crazy and making her feel vulnerable and she hated that.

Abby didn't feel safe anymore and she wanted that feeling back more than any other. Gibbs's presence only was able to bring her that sense of security more than anything else in the world and the moment she saw him again the magic worked; she felt as if nothing would happen to her as long as she was with him.

**000**

When Gibbs went to his basement again, he found Abby sitting on the steps, holding her head in her hands. The leader of the finest NCIS team just stood there at the top of the stairs looking down at her small frame that was shaken up by her crying. Taking a deep breath Gibbs climb down the stairs, coming to a halt next to her, he sat in silence waiting for her to calm down a bit.

He wanted so badly to put his arm around her shoulder but he didn't. He wanted her to tell him everything now. After what he had said to DiNozzo about what he had felt when he thought he had lost Abby forever, Gibbs realized that he loved her, really did love her, but he couldn't think about even trying to give them a chance if she didn't trust him enough to tell him was really at stake.

As Abby finally managed to calm down enough, she slowly put her hands and arms around her legs, and lay her head on her knees. "I'm so sorry, Gibbs."

"Abby stop saying that you are sorry. I know that by now. What I really need you to do is tell me what's going on. I can't not decide what to do or help if I don't know what's going on, Abbs!"

"Gibbs..." She started, but he cut her off.

"I know you said you'd tell me when the time is right, but I think the time is right now! I really think I have the right to know why I have to let them suffer like this by keeping them in the dark about the fact you're still alive Abbs. I've been through hell and back when I thought you were dead, at some moments I still think you're a ghost or something because I held you in my arms Abbs and you felt so cold. And now you're here talking to me, telling me I can't tell your best friend that you aren't dead! Why Abby?"

"I love you, Gibbs," she said simply.

He looked back at her surprised by her confession. He loved her too so much, but he wasn't really ready to discuss that matter at the moment. Gibbs needed to know what he could do to make everything go back to normal in their lives again because he hated to have to witness the agony and incomprehension in the eyes of his team members.

"Abby..." He said, but she stopped him from going any further by raising a hand in front of him.

"I do, Gibbs that's why I did it. I love every single one of you, you'll like family. I did it all because I don't want to lose you. It was the most difficult thing I had to do, but if I had to do it again I would. I just hope from the bottom of my heart that you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day, but you are right you deserve an explanation."

Standing up, Abby walked down the last steps before turning toward him, "Got any bourbon left?"

"Yeah." Gibbs answered as he stood as well to climb down the steps. Once he was standing on the basement floor he heads to a shelf where he retrieves the bottle of amber liquid. Reaching out, Abby takes the bottled from him.

"You should drink first if you want some because I'm still "contaminated" - once I've put my lips on the neck of this bottle you can't drink out of it anymore." she said with a sad smile.

What Gibbs answers her next, surprises her, and makes that little sparkle in her stomach come to life again.

"Right now, I wish I could be that bottle." Gibbs says in a voice she's never heard in use before, and it makes a shiver roll along her spine.

Abby's reaction is to smile at him in a very sexy way forcing him to find a way to distract himself from her, because if he doesn't he'll do something very stupid.

 _A few more hours,_ he thinks to himself.

 _A few more hours_ , Abby reminds herself.

**000**

Tony had all the difficulties in the world to get over his best friend's death, and hearing Gibbs confess his feelings for Abby hadn't helped at all. Now here he was in his apartment, drinking some bourbon, and though he knew it wouldn't help, right now he didn't care, cause all he wanted was to try to daze himself enough in hope the images of Abby dying in his arms would fade away completely, at least for a little while.

Those images suddenly seemed so vivid; this is so not how he had hoped things would go. Abby and he often discussed things at night, like friends would do or like a brother and sister would do in families where the bond is really tight, and during one of those nights, Abby had told him that she had romantic feelings for Gibbs to which Tony had retorted that he suspected something like that.

"Oh God is it so obvious?" She had asked, him, as her cheeks took a slight shade of red.

"Only for someone who really knows you, Abbs." Tony chuckled

"You think he knows?"

"Possibly though if he does he's not showing."

"Tony, Gibbs is an expert at hiding his feelings, it's almost impossible to read anything on his face."

"Tell me about it. I never know what's going in on in that mind of his. Ducky once told me that Gibbs used to be like me. Can you imagine that?"

"Yeah, actually, I can. Don't you remember how he was during the Kyle Boone case? He was so pissed... and when I entered the room neighboring the interrogation room, he made such a face, when he looked at me after he had stared at Boone for I don't know how long it broke my heart. I always imagined Gibbs like you actually. I guess life changed him, but it changes all of us."

"You're probably right."

Abby would never know he loved her too. We always think we have all the time in the world, when in reality we just a have a small fraction of it before it's all over. DiNozzo couldn't stop thinking about it.

He took another sip of amber liquid and closed his eyes as it rolled down its throat leaving a burning sensation in its trail.

**000**

Abby brought her lips to the bottle and let the alcohol run down her throat and closed her eyes. She didn't see Gibbs but she could sense him watching her.

He seemed hypnotized by the sight of her drinking out of a bottle and like he had told her he wished he could be the bottle she was holding in her hand. As he was looking at her, images imprinted themselves in his mind. He had her naked, his hands roaming her gorgeous body while their lips would meet in a passionate, ravaging kiss.

Darting his tongue out, he licked his lips and he swallowed hard. Gibbs wondered where it all came from...It most definitely came from the fact that he had thought she was dead, and know that she was actually very alive standing in front of him, all the emotions and feelings were edging on the surface. Anyway, Jethro was sure of one thing; he wanted her with every fiber of his being. And when he would finally be able to touch her, he would show it to her.

"Gibbs?" He heard her voice calling him from afar.

"Hmm?" He sort of moaned to her as a response which resulted in Abby laughing.

"Are you with me?"

"I'm definitely with you, Abbs"

Abby smirked at him. "You sure? You seemed to be far away from here."

"Positive." He smirked back.

Here they were once again flirting back and forth as if nothing had ever happened, both willingly avoiding facing the harsh reality of the situation they had been forced in for a moment.

Both gazing at each other intensely, their eyes were saying so much what no word could have voice.

"About a week before Chip stabbed me, I found out why he got to NCIS, the reason he wanted to get hired by specifically Sheppard and become my assistant. I didn't want to believe it, so I checked again and again and even made a DNA test to be absolutely sure, and then I locked my findings away. Unfortunately someone managed to break in, I guess because when you brought me home, I found a note with a big envelope..." Abby's voice broke then and she paused.

Gibbs walked slowly toward her; he stopped as he stood right behind her. And placed both hands on her shoulders...

"Easy, Abbs take your time, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." He told her softly.

It took Gibbs' favorite girl a few more minutes before she could regain enough strength and courage to be able to continue her story.

 _How am I gonna tell him what I have to? He will hate me after that. What if he doesn't understand?_ All those questions where worries to her, and she couldn't stop the tears that where running down her cheeks.

"Promise me you won't hate me." She made him promise in a voice full of mixed emotions.

Now Gibbs was starting to get worried. And he slowly made her turn so she would face him, and he hopes that like this, he would be able to find the truth in them.

"Abby whatever it is, you have to tell me. I won't hate you for it, I could never hate you." Gibbs told her soothingly.

Abby looked at him through watery eyes.

"I'm sure you will." Abby said in a broken voice

"I could never hate you Abbs..." Gibbs paused, hesitating. He took a deep breath and took the jump that would change the game that was their lives forever, but it felt to him that he had to tell her, to really make her understand that he could never hate her no matter what. She needed to know to hear the truth and most of all he needed to tell her the world, he hadn't said to anyone and definitely not a woman for so long. "I love you." Gibbs said loud and clear as he watched her intently in the eyes so she could see the truth in his eyes.

Abby looked at him, and didn't move an inch as silence fell over the basement. Abby closed her eyes then before taking a deep breath and continuing the story of why she had taken such a difficult decision.

"God knows why I did, but before opening the envelope or reading the note, I reached for gloves, put them on and only then did I take the big brown paper that was addressed to me and open it. The envelope contained pictures, of all the members of team but me. The shots were taken in a way that it let no doubts in my mind that you were all watched, like when Tony took down all the photos at Mikel Mawher's place, remember?"

Gibbs nodded his head "I remember all too well"

But it is the last picture that was in there that made my blood run cold, it was a photoshopped picture of you bleeding, there was blood all around you and your body showed multiple impacts of gunshots, Gibbs. My body started to shake so bad, I almost fell. When I finally managed to regain control of my brain after the shock of seeing the photo, I reached for the note.

It said: IF YOU DON'T STAY OUT OF GIBBS' LIFE, THE LAST PICTURE WILL BE DUPLICATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE BLEEDING OUT TO DEATH AND I WILL START WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST.

I didn't know what do at first. I was so scared, I wanted to tell you, but the moment I went out someone came and handed me a picture of myself taken the moment I stepped out of your car, so I knew it was really serious. I found a way to contact Fornell by disguising myself. I showed him the pictures and he suggested staging my own death so whoever's plan it was to get his hands on you would come out of the dark and do something and be caught. Fornell brought me to a safe house guarded by FBI agents, but I managed to get out." She stopped telling the story once more to take another sip of bourbon from the bottle that she was still holding in her hand.

"Abby, why do you come to me anyway?" He asked her visibly troubled by what she just had told him.

Abby looked at him after she had come back from the work table where she had just set down the bottle after she had taken yet another sip of the burning amber liquid.

"Because... Gibbs... I couldn't stay away from you" She simply stated.

The NCIS special agent he was could sense though that Abby was holding something back.

"There's more to it, Abbs, I know it, so spill."

She sighed; she couldn't hide anything for him. "I knew I was taking a big risk the moment I decided to come to you and tell you the truth, but I also know that you are a real expert on hiding your emotions and feelings Gibbs, so I thought... And you proved me right with the conversation you had with Tony. He had no idea I was down into the basement. You're capable of being cold hearted Gibbs. That's why I came back to you." She told as her eyes watered again.

Gibbs looked at her, visibly pained by her words, but he also know she was speaking the truth; he was able to shield himself from the outside world, to show no feelings at all. He had been trained to do so, and had kept training himself after the tragedy he went through when he came back only to meet an empty house because someone had taken his wife and daughter's lives.

"Abby..." He said, but she cut him off.

"See, I told you, you would hate me." She breathed as she turned away from him.

"I don't hate you," he said, reaching out to grab her arms, preventing her from walking further away from him.

Turning her so she would face him again he added. "You a rational and logical decision, I would have done the same." He told her as a smile found a way to his face to reinforce his words.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs..."

"I don't want to hear that word coming out your mouth ever again."

"Can't do that because that's the way I feel Gibbs."

Gibbs sighed heavily, there was no use. "We need to find a way to get you back inside of NCIS, I need you there. We all need you there."

"How? No one can know who I really am, otherwise..."

"I know." Gibbs said smirking, a twinkle appearing in his eyes as he found an idea to bring his forensic scientist back to NCIS without anyone knowing who she really was.


	11. Chapter 11

Ziva and McGee finished bagging and tagging every piece of evidence there was to bag in Abby's lab, and suddenly wondered who would do their friend's work. They say everyone's replaceable, but that was far from being true. They weren't feeling well since Abby had died, but since Tony had left the lab they were feeling even worse. When they had seen the note, Ziva's heart broke and tears were brimming at her eyes, and a knot had formed in Tim's throat.

Tony's annoying teasing was forgotten, as well as the painful discovery that Abby wouldn't ever be his anymore, since she was in love with Gibbs. Realizing that it wouldn't happen between his boss and his friend was, in some ways, even more hurtful for McGee.

If a relationship would have existed between Gibbs and her it would have been difficult and heartbreaking, but he would have still seen her every day because she would be alive and well; instead of that, they had to face the darkness of the days of a lifetime without Abby Sciuto. A situation neither one of them would ever thought of facing.

The world would never be the same again. They had no choice - they had to continue to catch her killer; they had to do it for her.

The thing was they needed Tony. Tony knew more about that stuff than any of them because he had already done a few things with Abby's help. They had to find a way to make him focus on the present. McGee, Ziva and Gibbs needed to make Tony understand that Abby would have wanted him to move on. Not cry over her death for days. McGee knew Abby would have hated to see her best friend - her big brother - like this.

Tim decided then and there that he would first get the evidence at NCIS and after that he would take Ziva with him and they would go look where their colleague was hiding.

**000**

"Huh, huh... Gibbs what do you have in mind?" Abby questioned him.

Gibbs smirked at her and told her, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Wait here, I'm gonna check to make sure there is no danger. I just wanna make sure no one will be able to see you when you come up here. I have no intentions of keeping you in my basement forever."

"You don't?" Abby pouted, amused, feeling relieved, and looking at her hands.

"I have something else in mind for you." He told her as he climbed the stairs up again, when he was at the last step he looked down at her, called her name, and winked.

Abby wanted to retort something, but when she looked up the stairs, he was gone.

 _Maybe, just maybe, there would come something good out of this crazy situation she had put herself into,_ she thought.

She walked back toward the place where she had left the bottle of bourbon, brought it to her lips and took a gulp of it, all the while wondering what Gibbs was up to. Her thoughts drifted quickly to another place... a place upstairs. His bedroom.

The NCIS lab rat made a quick mental calculation... 5 hours. Then she wouldn't be a danger anymore and they'd be able to touch one another. Seeing him naked in all his glory, caressing him in places that was off limits for everyone else but lovers...

Completely lost in her daydreaming, Abby didn't hear him come down. She jumped when she felt a slight pressure on her shoulders through the latex she was still wearing.

"You okay, Abbs? I didn't mean to startle you."

She turned her head to look at him. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks."

"Everything's clear, you can come up."

A few minutes later, they were both standing in his living room. She looked around a bit embarrassed.

"Abbs?" Gibbs called her softly.

Looking at him she saw him point a finger in direction of the fireplace.

"You sure?"

Not saying a word, the man walked to the fireplace, and sat on one of the blankets he had placed on the floor. It could be considered as a romantic gesture and in some way it was, maybe, but hadn't meant it to be that way. It was a practical and safe move.

Gibbs would be able to throw away or burn the blanket she had been sitting on; it was an old one anyway and if someone they knew was to look through the windows, no one would see them because he had shut the blinds. When he'd looked outside he had been surprised to see the sun had managed find its way back - as if it had been happy that Abby was alive - and it gave him a reason to shut the blinds without it being suspicious.

The NCIS forensic scientist came to sit on the other blanket, facing him. When he looked in her eyes, he saw the hurt that had remained in them, hurt caused by her hurting the one man and friend she considered as a big brother. His broken voice and words still echoed in her mind.

"Don't think about it, Abbs. Don't let guilt and hurt overwhelm you. It'll break you. Been there, done that. If you let it overwhelm you all you'll feel is sadness and in the end you'll feel empty and that is the worst that can happen to you."

Abby knew that Gibbs was talking from experience and she suspected that was the way he must have felt after Shannon and Kelly had been taken away from him forever.

"I know you're right, Gibbs, but I can't help it. Tony is like my big brother, when I can't come to you, he's the one I turn to. I always have. He's been there for me whenever I needed him, and now I have to let him think I'm dead, when all I want to do is hold him in my arms and tell how sorry I am."

"You will someday, Abby, you will when this is all over, you will, I promise." He reassured her.

"How can you be so sure, Gibbs - what if whoever is behind this discovers what I've done?"

"We will find a way to work thing out, Abby."

"But..." Abby started, but he held his hand up and she closed her mouth.

"Have I ever told you something that wasn't true?" Gibbs asked her.

For a response she shook her head negatively.

"Gibbs?"

"Hmmm?"

"How are you planning to bring me back inside of NCIS?"


	12. Chapter 12

As he had intended to do earlier, McGee had taken Ziva with him and they were now on their way to Tony's place. Both were thinking about what they were going to say to their friend and colleague. They needed him. Tony needed to be there to hold them together. Gibbs had left already for the day. Both were concerned about him, and though they hadn't voiced it out loud, Ziva and Tim were terrified.

Ziva didn't at all like the feeling because she was unfamiliar with it. Gibbs was the closest thing to a father she had ever known. He couldn't break down. He had to be and stay strong for her.

McGee was lost as well. Abby was gone, Gibbs wasn't himself because of it, and now Tony was having a breakdown. Tony-annoying Anthony DiNozzo-always calling him probie when technically he wasn't one anymore; the woman sitting next to him, she was supposed be called that now, she came in after him. But nothing had changed after she came in; he was always the one with the name probie. That really drove him nuts. Now though, Tim would do anything for Tony to be back to normal. He didn't like the closeness DiNozzo and Abby shared - probably because he thought he'd been Abby's closest friend.

His feelings weren't what mattered at the moment, what did matter was bringing Tony back to work with them.

When Tim parked the car and turned off the engine he looked at Ziva.

"We have to convince him, Ziva."

"I know." She simply replied.

They looked at each other in silence one moment more before stepping out of the car. Ziva was already walking ahead as McGee locked the car.

When Tony heard the knock on his front door he growled. He didn't want to see anyone right now. He wanted to stay alone with his grief. Whoever it was behind his door he or she would stay right there. DiNozzo had no intentions whatsoever to open that door.

Little did he know at that moment that his front door wouldn't remain closed for long. As they received no answer to the knock, Ziva decided to try the doorbell, but the door remained closed...

"Maybe he isn't here." McGee suggested.

"He is home McGee, haven't you seen his car parked? She asked.

Tim shrugged. "Didn't really pay attention to the parked cars."

The Mossad liaison officer sighed heavily. "There will be more than body language to teach you. Haven't you trained for this?"

"I did, but my mind isn't really in it at the moment."

"In Israel there is no time for grief; you lose someone, you just continue."

"But we are not in your country here, Ziva, we take the time to grieve, we are not robots." At his last words, Tim closed his eyes. "I... I'm sorry, Ziva, I... I didn't mean to..."

Ziva David raised her hand, stopping him from continuing. Not saying a word she crouched down, sticking her hand in her jacket pocket to withdraw it almost immediately. Looking at her hand, McGee could she was holding a lock pick.

"Before you say anything Tim, I don't think we have a choice here. I don't want DiNozzo to do anything stupid."

"You think he would?"

"I have no certainties about it Tim, but I think everyone has at least thought once about it. And if the circumstances are right a person can pass the point of no return." Ziva explained.

"Don't you think would should have checked on Gibbs then?" He asked, concern very distinct in his voice.

"No, Gibbs grieves, but he's mad. And now mad and sad are safer than sad alone, believe me." The Israeli woman said as she replaced the lockpick in her jack pocket again.

Standing up again, Ziva turned the doorknob. The door opened and Timothy followed her in. The place was completely dark which surprised them both. They knew that DiNozzo was more of an insomniac like Gibbs tended to be, though with their boss it could be explained with the amount of coffee a day he was drinking.

For their friend it was different, yes, he drank coffee.

Ziva felt a knot form in her stomach. This wasn't a good sign. Unconsciously, her hand posed itself on the butt of her gun. Carefully, silently, she walked forward through DiNozzo's apartment, the probie on her heels. She stopped suddenly when she saw a light coming out of his room.

Abby really wondered how Gibbs was planning to bring her back in her lab without anyone noticing who she was. It annoyed her not to be in connection with him like she so often was. Maybe it was because she had still tetrodotoxin in her system, even if it was only for a few more hours it was still there.

She hoped from the bottom of her heart that her calculations of the amount of TTX that could be allowed in the body were right. She hadn't thought of it the moment she had made her decision but now, in retrospect, she was starting to realize that the risk she had taken could have serious consequences and not only for her friends and family, but for herself as well.

If there was a possibility she had indeed miscalculated, there could be after-effects, something she had refused to take in consideration to begin with, because she wasn't a person that made mistakes. Abby hadn't been afraid all this time, and now for a reason that eluded her, she was starting to let fear grab her.

"Abby?" She heard Gibbs call her.

"Yeah..." Abby replied, absently.

"What's on your mind?" Gibbs asked her, concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing why?" Abby said a little too hastily.

"Abby, look at me." Gibbs instructed her, softly but firmly.

His favorite girl didn't look at him. For some reason the blanket she was sitting on appeared to be very interesting.

"Abbs?" Her boss and friend called her name more firmly now.

The gothic forensic scientist finally looked at him, but not a word came out of her just yet. Their eyes locked, and in them he could read, or at least he thought he could, what was bothering her.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had always been able to read her like an open book, but regarding the latest events, his certainties about her had all been shaken, and she had managed to fool him. It made him furious, but it also amazed him, because no one had been able to fool him before, ever.

Abby Sciuto was definitely one out of a million.

"I'm scared, Gibbs, what if my calculations were wrong?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Wrong?"

"What if I miscalculated the dosage? What if there's an aftermath to this because of what I've done?"

Looking at her intensely, he asked her softly but firmly "Did you make a mistake?"

"No." She replied simply.

"There you go then, Abbs, you didn't make a dosage error. I trust you for it, so don't doubt yourself. Everything's gonna be okay."

"I so wish you could hold me right now."

"Me too, but there's not so long a wait anymore, is there?"

Abby smiled brightly at him then. "No there isn't."

Their eyes locked; when they both thought about what would come, there was no doubt it would happen, and thinking about if it would be a wise thing to do or not was pointless because they both new they were meant to be.

The team leader of the NCIS' best agents would keep the promise he had made himself and tell Abby he loved her as much as he could, even though he realized that it wouldn't be an easy task to accomplish in the beginning, but he would get over it and tell her because it had hurt too much when he'd thought she was dead. Gibbs knew that he had been given a second chance and that he wouldn't have a third one.

Abby thought she had betrayed her friend and she thanked whoever was responsible for it that the man she loved so much for so long didn't hate her. Her thoughts then once more drifted toward Tony and how she would be able to make amends to him when he would discover the truth.

The idea he never might forgive her made her sick.

When Ziva and McGee entered Tony's bedroom, the sight broke both their hearts. Tony was curdled up on his bed in the fetal position. A half emptied glass of bourbon was sitting on his bedside table next to a bottle of the same amber liquid.

Ziva looked at the scene before her, then at Tim.

Silently, she walked toward the bed. She sat on it, close to Tony. She softly placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled, slowly turning him toward her, gasping in surprise and her eyes widening when she saw his face.

DiNozzo's eyes were red-rimmed, puffy and he was still crying. Ziva had the impression Tony had been crying for a long time, maybe since the moment he came back home.

"McGee?"

"I'm calling, Ducky." He told her as he felt his eyes watering at the sight of his colleague. He went out of the bedroom and called Dr. Mallard.

 _This is not good,_ McGee thought.

Ducky was standing in Tony's bedroom about fifteen minutes later.

"What happened?" The Medical Examiner asked.

"No idea, Ducky, we found him like this." Tim answered.

Ziva was still sitting next to him on the bed. "We came to try to convince him that he had to keep busy himself. He had to work to catch Abby's killer. She wouldn't have wanted to see him like this. But..." The female agent's voice trailed off

"... He saw a letter he had written to Abby when we were bagging and tagging and he left without a word except for I can't do this anymore..." Timothy told Ducky.

Donald Mallard sighed heavily. Opening the case he had brought with him, suspecting what was going on with DiNozzo, as he left the morgue, Ducky took a syringe out of it and softly asked Ziva to stand up so he could take her place.

"What's in there, Ducky?" Ziva wanted to know.

"Just a little sedative solution, my dear, no worries. It's just some Valerian. Not a very strong dose because of the bourbon he's obviously been drinking. It's just to calm him down enough for him to be able to rest a bit."

Ziva nodded. She turned to McGee. "I think it's better if we all took a day off to... grieve, before we do anything else. I'm sure Gibbs wouldn't mind."

Tim looked at her surprised then nodded his head as well. "Do we need to call the Director?"

"No, I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Okay, I'll go get ourselves some coffee."

With the words said, he left the room and a couple of minutes later, they heard the front door be opened and closed. Special agent David jumped when her cell phone rang.

"David."

"Ziva?"]

"Yeah, Gibbs..."

"I think it's better for all of us to take the day off."] She heard him say right before a small click indicating that he had hung up his phone.

"Do you think he's gonna be alright, Ducky?"

"Yes, my dear, Anthony will be alright. He just needs to sleep a bit. He's just having his aftershock; he took the time to think and fully realize that his best friend is gone. He hasn't slept since it all happened. He'll be fine, I promise you, he will. We just have to survey him while he sleeps, that's all."

Abby was curled up on her side, watching Gibbs without saying a word. Gibbs was doing the same thing except he was propped up on his elbow. He watched as the reflection of the flames that were dancing in the fireplace reflected in her eyes. Abby was such a beautiful woman and her mouth was so alluring and sexy.

"Angel" He whispered.

"I'm not an Angel, Gibbs."

"Yes, you are. From now on, you are Angel O'Flannigan"

Abby looked at him questioningly then suddenly it clicked in her mind.

"The new NCIS forensic scientist."

"You rock, Gibbs."

"You'll have to make some sacrifices though. No more Gothic style until this is all over. No more dog collars, no boots..."

The light in Abby's eyes died. _You put yourself into this mess, Abbs, now you have to assume the consequence of you actions. Giving up your Gothic style and all the side little things is a small price to pay compared to was could happened if that monster knew you were still alive,_ she thought to herself.

"I'll cut my hair and will dye it as well" She suddenly said.

"You could wear a wig." Gibbs suggested.

"Too dangerous if one day I fix it wrong and with some brusque movement it falls off, I'd be discovered. No, I don't want to take that risk. I'm not gonna take unnecessary risks."

Jethro Gibbs smiled as he watched the wheels of her brain work. She was so incredible. She was so willing to disappear if it could help someone.

"Any ideas what colors you'll dye your hair?"

"No, any suggestions?"

"Blonde, maybe?"

Abby rolled on her back and tried to imagine herself as a blonde. She laughed and rolled to her side again to face the silver-haired fox who had such amazing icy blue eyes.

"Yeah, why not, then I'll buy myself a replica of the dress Marilyn Monroe were in The Seven Year Itch." _Tony's influence again_ she thought.

"Why not? It would be great for a Halloween costume."

She laughed even harder now, imagining the scene before her. "McGee and Tony seeing me in that dress, they wouldn't be able to concentrate on the case we would be working on. You'd have to slap them both on the back of the head, and you'd wait until they'd be gone then you'd come standing close, looking at me from head to toe and say in some sort of seductive voice 'Not bad for a blonde'."

Gibbs smirked at her and said "Yeah, I probably would."

"How about being a brunette?" She said.

Thinking about the idea for a moment, they both came on the same conclusion: No, bad idea.

"How about a red head?" Jethro Gibbs asked her.

"A red head with blue eyes..." As she gives it a thought, Abby liked the idea.

"You're going to wear contacts?"

Looking at her questioningly he waited for her to elaborate.

"Yeah, I will. Answer me honestly, Gibbs, if I were to wear a totally different outfit and a wig but having my eyes you wouldn't recognize me?"

"Yes, I would. And it would fit better with the name you gave me. O' Flannigan sounds Irish. Pale skin, red haired, with blue eyes and short cut hair. Perfect."She said excitingly as she rolled on her stomach posing her chin on her gloved hands when she added mischievously. "And it would be less suspicious in case you were to fall for me"

Silence fell in the room, and Abby thought she'd gone too far too fast. They were teasing each other like they often did, but every single word seemed suddenly to imply so much more.

"I'm already falling for you, Abbs"

Gibbs's words hung between them for a moment. From all the answers she could have expected, not a single one involved those precise words. Never had Gibbs been so open hearted with her and she had to admit it scared her.

All she wanted to do now was cuddle next to him and kiss him. Goodness, how she longed to kiss him.

Abby didn't say a word, but turned her head to look at him, a smile lighting up her face.

"And when are you planning to introduce Angel O' Flannigan?"

"In about 4-5 days. We need to buy you some new clothes and shoes."

At his words she made a face.

Gibbs added "No polyester and no high heels" He smiled.

"You know me so well." She said.

No words came out of his mouth at first, but then he told her "Every time I think I do you throw in something new and I have to restart the puzzle anew."


	13. Chapter 13

Ducky was starting to get concerned, Abby's death had come hard on everyone of them, but Tony seemed to be unable to recover from it. The NCIS ME was starting to think that there was more to it, so he to call Gibbs to talk to him about DiNozzo.

 _Maybe if they could all have a week off,_ Ducky thought. He was wishful thinking there, but Anthony really needed time off from this. Dr. Mallard knew Tony hadn't closed his eyes since all this tragedy had occurred. They needed to catch Abby's murderer but there was no way, they could do their work correctly without DiNozzo.

They all knew it. Anthony DiNozzo could be a real pain for lots of people, but they also knew that when it was work related everyone could count on him, even if sometimes, his methods weren't really conventional unethical at moments, but always delivered good work. Right now, though, Tony wasn't in any condition to do anything.

Ducky flipped open his cell phone and called Gibbs. The man pick up at the third ring.

"Yeah, Gibbs…"

"Gibbs, there is something, I need to talk to you about." The NCIS ME told him, right away.

"What is it, Duck?" Gibbs asked the man, suddenly concerned by the tone of voice the ME had used.

"It's Anthony..."

"Tony? What's wrong with him, Duck?"

At the mention of Tony's name, Abby's facial expression changed into concern and she saw the face of the man sitting on front of her on the blanket, change as well. He said he was going into the next room to take the call and that he would be back in a little while.

Abby nodded her head, watching silently has the man she loved, left the room.

"What is it about, Tony?"

"He needs some rest, Jethro, poor Anthony doesn't seemed to able to deal with Abby's death very well."

"What? Tony's been here and yes, he wasn't doing well, but he seemed to be ready to cope with it and move on. What happened?"

"Ziva called me and asked to come take look at DiNozzo. The poor man is really in bad shape emotionally, Gibbs, he needs more time. We all need some by the way, I know it's important for us to work on this and catch the murderer quickly, but right now what's more important is to keep an eye on him. He really isn't doing well, Jethro."

"Why didn't he tell me anything then?"

["Well, he was probably thinking that he would be able to handle it. He was feeling better when he left your place, but once he went home. All he was met with was silence, and started to think, remember. Drinking a glass hadn't ease a thing neither had a second or even a third one… Dear Anthony considered Abby like his little sister, Gibbs, they were really close. We all looked the importance of it, Jethro. ]

"I'll come over. I'll be there in ten to fifteen minutes."

["Okay."] Was all, Ducky said before he ended the conversation.

Gibbs cursed under his breath, how could he have been so stupid? How didn't he think of something so evident? He too, had been affected by Abby's death, he loved her and had thought he had wasted so much time by not telling her how he felt about her for so long.

He had had a second chance, Gibbs knew Abby was still alive, but he was the only one. And he also knew that she had taken a great risk. The team leader thought he had to tell her how he felt about her. And he would, but right now he had to take of DiNozzo.

Taking a moment, Gibbs took a deep breath, slipped his phone in one of the pockets in his pants and headed back to Abby. What he found when he got back in the living room broke his heart and he rushed to her side.

"Abby, what's wrong?" he asked her in a soft voice full of concern.

"You need to go see, Tony, Gibbs, you need to!" Abby told him in anger, crying voice.

"I was going to that is what I came to tell you. Did you hear my phone call with Ducky?" Gibbs asked her wondering if she hadn't followed him to listen at the door.

"No, I did not follow you and listen behind the door!" She said angrily. "Tony isn't good at all, Gibbs, I just can feel his pain. It struck me when you were on the phone. He thinks he's responsible for what happened to me." Abby explains.

Taking a good look at Abigail Scuito, Jethro Gibbs, realized that she was indeed feeling Anthony's pain. "I'm gonna go over there and call Jenny and ask her for some more time off" He said to the emerald-eyed (?who or what , beauty?) who was still on the blanket in front of the fire.

Gibbs wasn't going to bet on it, but he could have sworn that he saw Abby flinch slightly at the mention of the director's name. He was probably imagining it. There was absolutely no reason why Abby would react like that at Jenny's name.

"If you want you want something to drink, you know where the fridge is…" He smiled.

Abby nodded her head and she watched him and for the door silently. She stood up abruptly. "Wait!" rushing to him, she handed him a letter. Surprised he looked at her questioningly.

"Just make sure he gets this letter, but don't hand it to him directly, hide it somewhere where you are sure he will find it on his own."

Gibbs nodded his head and left the house.

000

Like he'd told, Ducky, Gibbs showed up at Tony's place fifteen minutes later. Ziva came to open. The moment, she saw him, she seemed relieved, but there was something showing in her eyes that concerned him and he instantly knew that it was serious. Abby's words echoed in his mind, 'Tony isn't good at all Gibbs, I can feel his pain, he thinks it's his fault.'

"How is he, Ziva?"

"Not good, I guess, Tony thinks it's his fault. I never thought, I'd ever see DiNozzo like this, Gibbs. He is so sad…"

"I know, Ziva" Gibbs told as he followed her to where Tony was lying in his bedroom.

His friend, Dr. Mallard hadn't lied to him. To be honest, he had imagined a lot of things, but this was something he hadn't envisioned. DiNozzo was lying in his bed looking at the wall in front of him, his eyes were red rimmed from crying.

Walking to the bed, Gibbs sat on it. "DiNozzo?"

Tony didn't react. Staring at his back, he decided to talk to his agent. They were all the room, McGee was leaning against the wall that faced the entrance door of the bedroom, his eyes were closed in hope to fight away the tears that were threatening to fall. This was a nightmare that wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Timothy hated the feelings the situation were waking up in him. McGee really wished they could go back in time to change things like in Donald P Bellisario's Quantum Leap. Life was definitely not a TV show. Why couldn't things be easy for once? The streets were full of crazy people that seem find a pervert joy in killing people and now they had to find who was behind Chip's want to kill Abby—the worst thing of it all was that he had succeeded in his task.

Ducky was standing next to the bed while Ziva was leaning against the doorframe, observing the scene before her. Tony was her friend and there was nothing she could do to help and it was driving her crazy.

"Tony. Abby's death isn't your fault, and I know you know it. I'm sure that wherever she is, she knows that. She was your little sister, and loved you. I also know that she would kick your ass if she could. Abby would yell at you for letting yourself be bitten up like that!"

Gibbs's words seemed to have somehow reached their goal because Tony slowly rolled onto his back before facing his boss. A small smile appeared to Jethro's face.

"It's so hard, Gibbs. When I finally think, I feel better, my eye catches a small something and I'm hurt all over again."

"I know, Tony, it will take sometime."

"I failed her, Gibbs." DiNozzo told him in a broken voice.

"If that's what you think, we all failed her. None of us were there to help her, Tony. None of us! There are things that can't be changed, remember? And no, I'm not accepting what happened. I don't know what tomorrow will bring for us all, no one can know that, but there is one thing I know for certain DiNozzo and that is: we will catch the bastard, and we need you for that!"

As his boss's words sank in, a very tiny, small smile appeared on his face.

No one saw it, but a smile found its way to Ziva's lips the moment she saw the one on Tony's lips. Maybe now they would be able to move on and work on finding the reason why Chip had to kill the NCIS forensic scientist.

Ziva thought like Ducky that they needed some time off before they'd be able to deliver good work. Everyone had a different way to cope with death. There was one thing each person needed no matter how they manage to deal with it, and that thing they needed was time. She really hoped that Gibbs would be able to get them a couple of days more off.

000

At Gibbs's house, Abby was thinking about her friends and the reason why she had put them in this situation… But she couldn't think too long, her attention was brought into focus by the sound of her cell phone. She frowned for a second…

 _How could her cell phone, make an alarm sound?_ She'd bought a new one when she had accepted Fornell's proposition. Tobias had also given her one where he could contact her in case something happened.

Standing up, Abby followed the sound of the cell phone and realized suddenly why the alarm was going off. But with all the events going on with Tony she had completely forgotten that she had put it on the moment she had taken the neurotoxin—she had put it on to be sure to know when she didn't represent a risk to anyone who would want to touch her.

The time was finally there, she and Gibbs would be able to… the moment the thought crossed her mind Abby wanted to kick herself. Now wasn't the time to think about those kind of things, Tony had the priority, but she couldn't help herself now she knew the feelings were shared. All those nights she had dreamed of being with him, and those nights she had woken up feeling wet because of a very hot and pleas ant dream.

Abby couldn't help but wonder if reality would be better than her dreams. She could hardly believe that it would finally become true, although she would only really believe it when it happen probably because she didn't want to be disappointed if it didn't happen.

Shake these thoughts out of your mind, Abbs! Tony, think about Tony!

Abby headed for the fridge and took a fresh bottle of water before she taking the stairs, a few minutes later she was in Gibbs bedroom searching for one of his shirts, choosing a white one, she then exited the room. A few minutes later, she was later water running in the shower cubicle. She needed water to wash herself and clean her thoughts, though she wasn't really she that the water would actually help, her body and skin would be cleaned, but her thoughts…

God, her dreams flashed back to her like a meteor falling from the skies. Why on earth did they have be in a situation like this one to finally realize how much the meant to each other.? This was so unfair to them, to them all. Putting on the shirt, she had taken from Gibbs's closet on the radiator, Abby entered the shower, closing her eyes as she let the water roll down her body. Life was getting crazy, really crazy.

As her thoughts drifted away again, Abby really hoped that Tony would find the letter sooner rather than later and that Gibbs would hide well enough, but not too well, and that one day he would find it in his heart to forgive her for what she had put him through. Telling him the truth of what she had done in the letter is something she would never do.

When the time came, she would explain it to him face to face. He had to understand that she would never have done what she had if she would have had another choice. Since it all started she could not get rid of the feeling of betrayal, not in the sense that she had been betrayed, but the one that pointed a finger at her saying: you are not worthy to have them as friends because you are a traitor. A wave of sadness hit her, tears rolled down her cheeks.

Abby ran her fingers through her hair, it was getting long, maybe cutting it wouldn't be such a bad thing after all, she mused. If she had to change appearances, she might as well have a complete makeover.

She would discuss it with Gibbs when he'd be back.

Abby took her time to wash enjoying the sound of the running water and only this unique sound, when she was done the forensic scientist realized she had forgotten something somewhat important. Abby had forgotten to take a towel with her when she went to the bathroom. How stupid could she be? She thought to herself laughing out loud.

 _Well, sorry, Gibbs, I'm gonna get your shirt wet, but I promise to give it back to you as good as new_. The woman said out loud still slightly giggling.

Abby put on the shirt with some difficulty. The tissue didn't glide well, because her body was still wet. When the fabric had finally cooperated enough for her to button it, she took a piece of the collar that caressed her neck skin and smelled it, she closed her eyes when the smell of it hit her nostrils.

 _Gibbs…_ She murmured.

000

On his way back home, Leroy Jethro Gibbs replayed the scene about what he just witnessed, his best senior field agent in such a state. He hadn't known what he would have expected when Ducky had called him or after Abby had insisted on him seeing Tony, but he certainly hadn't expect that. Gibbs briefly wondered how Abbs knew about DiNozzo's emotional state and pain. He'd have to ask her one day…

His next thoughts were about the fact that he had lied to Tony, he hated it. He hated when people lied, and what did he have to do? He had the sensation of betraying himself, but compared to what Abby had to do…

Director Sheppard hadn't been too happy about his call to ask for more time off, but she could exactly argue because it didn't leave her any choice—happy with it or not he had told her that if she didn't give them some more time, he and his team wouldn't come to work anyway. The only thing for her left to do was to agree.

Gibbs halted his car in the driveway, stopped the engine and stepped of the car, a few moments later, he entered his home, he called Abby but didn't get any answer so he called again, but once more he was met by sheer silence, Gibbs wasn't the kind of man that panicked, but in this particular case he did.

Was she gone again? Did she change her mind? Please no… Gibbs didn't think he would be able to survive the fact that she would be gone again. Sure, he'd know that she'd be alive, but he needed her in his life as much as he needed to breathe. Images flashed in his head then, Abby in her lab lying almost lifeless in Tony's arm and surrounded by blood. He closed his eyes in hope to push them away. Instinctively he reached for his gun, and held it in his hands, walking slowly around the house, he inspected the rooms. Abby was nowhere, his heart started to beat faster.

The fact that didn't find her anywhere could be a good thing, but it could also be something bad, someone could have kidnapped her or worse…

 _Come on, Gibbs how could she have been kidnapped everyone thinks the NCIS forensic scientist is dead._ But for some reason, he couldn't tame the panicking feelings that had gripped him.

Walking down the stair case of his basement cautiously his blue eyes scanned the ground, she wasn't there either getting the rest of the steps, he verified the place, but no Abby to be seen. Heading up the steps again, he walked toward the staircase that would lead him to his bedroom. Aiming his gun in front of him, Gibbs slowly walked toward his bedroom, checked the room, but still nothing. His bedroom was the last place he had to check and if she wasn't there, he wasn't sure about what he was going to do...


	14. Chapter 14

Gibbs walked soundlessly to his bedroom, holding his weapon steady in his hand, his heartbeat rising as he was standing next to the doorframe of his bedroom, noticing that the door was ajar. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the wall a second, praying silently that she was in the room. Praying for it with his entire being.

He couldn't and wouldn't think about what he'd do or what would happen if she wasn't there. He turned slightly so now only his shoulder was supporting his weight against the wall, and slowly placing his hand on the door panel, he pushed it open. Gibbs went in then, a feeling of relief washing over him as he saw her slender frame lying on the bed, his bed.

A smile curving his lips, he put his gun back in its holster.

Walking, slowly, he made his way toward his bed where Abby was lying on her side in one of his shirts. The smile on his face faded when he saw the shirt she was wearing was wet, not soaked, but wet enough to see through it he could see all the magnificent curves of her body and in normal circumstances, the sight would have turned him on, but now it made his blood run cold. Her black hair was wet as well...

 _Was she sick? Has she been poisoned or had she wrongly dosed the Fugu poison she'd used to fake her death, the effects of it only showing now?_ All the thoughts running through his mind made his heartbeat rise. All rationality seemed to have left him.

Placing one knee on the end of bed, he reached out, grabbing her shoulders and rolling her onto her back. "Abby?" Her first name came as a soft murmur out of his mouth. Abby slowly moaned as she stirred before she opened her eyes. where she was met with his cobalt blue ones. She smiled, but her smile vanished quickly when she saw the fear that was painted all over his face, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Gibbs?" she whispered in a slightly stressed voice. Thinking at first that something had happened with Tony, but as she looked in his eyes, she understood that the fear she could read on his face and see in his eyes nothing to do with DiNozzo.

Reaching out and placing her hands on either side of his face Abby pulled him toward her, her lips brushed his face softly with butterfly kisses before placing his head against her chest, caressing his soft short silver hair in a soothing motion. The tender gesture was too much for Gibbs, he suddenly broke unable keep his tears on hold any longer, they were now rolling freely down his cheeks.

Abby's hand kept caressing his hair as she told him in a calm soft voice:

"Sssh... sssh, I'm fine, Gibbs, I'm here with you and I have no intention of going anywhere."

"For a moment, I thought I lost you again, that you left..." Abby heard him murmur against her chest in a strange voice as it was strangled my emotions.

The forensic scientist couldn't help but think this was so uncharacteristic for Gibbs even through these special circumstances. After all, she was doing okay, she was safe with him in his house. Abby tried to reassure him.

"I won't leave you, Gibbs, I promise."

"When I saw you lying so still on the bed and wet..." Gibbs couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence; instead, he slid one of his arm under her and pulled her even closer."

It's then that Abby understood what he must have been going through. She realized the he must have lived her death all over again.

"Oh, Gibbs..." Abby felt a knot form in her throat; if she had had any doubt that he really loved her they all went flying out the window. Abby felt a wave of disgust against herself rise through her for what she had to put them through. Thoughts of the one that had left her with no other choice than to put the ones she love in such a pain made her even more disgusted.

When she got her hands on the person responsible for all the misery they were going through, she would kill them and no one would ever know who the murderer was, and even better they would actually never find the body back either. Yeah, she wouldn't hesitate one damn bit.

She was happy to be with Gibbs, but on the other hand, her heart was bleeding for him, the man she'd loved for so long, her rock was falling apart in front of her and there was nothing she could do to ease his pain.

"I'm so sorry, Gibbs."

After a long moment, Gibbs slowly lifted his head to look up at her, eyes still shining with tears, pushing himself up, he smiled through his tears, "not for being alive, I hope." He said in a broken voice before bending down and capturing her lips with his.

His eyes closed at the soft touch of her lips, he had waited so long for this. Now that he finally could, he pulled back though to look her to be absolutely sure she was okay with this.

Abby moaned her disappointment, "why did you stop?"

Gibbs smiled at her comment, his lips finding hers again. The kiss turned passionate almost immediately, he had been so afraid when she hadn't responded to him calling out her name when he'd entered the house. It had felt as if he was brought back so many years ago when Shannon and Kelly got killed.

Several weeks after they were gone he'd caught himself calling for them when he came home in a reflex, forgetting for a brief moment they'd never answer again. It'd been such a painful period of his life that had some point he had even been thinking about committing suicide. He didn't think he would be able to keep living without them, but he did though. He somehow found the strength to move forward.

He went to work for the NIS which would soon become NCIS. Where Mike Franks took him under his wing. While he was working, Gibbs's mind was keeping busy and he wouldn't think about what he had lost, and ended up working more and more, catching bad guy after bad guy, and what did change? Nothing because in the end, it wouldn't bring Shannon and Kelly back.

His private life was a mess, he had remarried and it hadn't worked out, so he decided to try again, but again it failed, Gibbs had even manage to let Fornell steel one of his wives, Diane. She ended up plundering the FBI agent's bank account just like she had done to him. And poor Stephanie, she was the one who had the unfortunate luck to with him while he was working on the Boone case.

Kyle Boone was a serial killer that who claimed having killed twenty-two women. Catching the psycho had taken a lot of his time, energy and a part of his personality.

The result: the bastard was behind bars, but Stephanie left.

Three divorces, and numerous liaisons later one of the most memorable though was the one he'd had with the now Director Sheppard, who was only an agent back then, yup that affair or fling whatever it was called had been unforgettable but not necessarily for the good things. They were on an undercover mission in Europe and as expected the relationship didn't stand for long. It was as if he was cursed once a woman entered in his life, the relationship was doomed to fail no matter the nature of the relationship he had with them.

How hadn't he seen that the only constant in his life was the woman he needed.

Abby was the only woman that accepted him the way he was, she was always there when he needed her, she didn't question his actions, the only she did was support him. Without her, he doubted he would have made it so far.

The forensic scientist knew him like no one else did. He trusted and respected her, she somehow had become the center of his world he suddenly realized, and he loved her more than he thought he could ever love someone.

Gibbs was happy that he could hold her in his arms and kiss her lovely lips, having every intention to show her how much he cared about her, how much she meant to him since she entered into his life. The day they met changed his life for the better, he would tell her that soon.

He would try to be more open about his feelings, yes, he would just for her.

Abby broke the kiss in need for air. "Hmmm, I like it when we kiss," Abby said in a soft but husky voice as she was still out of breath.

"Me too." Gibbs replied in the same tone of voice before adding, "prepare yourself because you'll be kissed very often, so often you'll get annoyed and you'll want me to stop."

Laughing at his words, the scientist saw a twinkled shine in the deep blue orbits of the man she loved so much for so long. "Me? Getting annoyed because of you kissing me too much? NEVER!"

"We'll see..."

"Seriously, Gibbs, how could I ever get bored of you kissing me? When I've waited for you to do so for so long..."


	15. Chapter 15

Ziva was sitting on a chair in DiNozzo bedroom, observing him as he finally slept. She didn't want to leave alone, even though she knew that Gibbs's little talk had done some effect on him, he still was in pain and she hated it. As a Mossad agent she had learned to act cold blooded and to appear emotionless, but it didn't meant she was heartless.

Since she had arrived at NCIS, was starting to realize that it isn't always wrong to show your emotions neither is it a signed of weakness with the people you work with or care about.

Though Tony and she were often bickering, she liked him, but she'd never admit that to him or to anyone. Ziva was determined to look after him so that Ducky and McGee could get some rest promising them that if anything was to happen she would call them.

For the time being NCIS special agent Anthony DiNozzo was sleeping peacefully. A small smile appeared on her lips, thinking that he colleague reminded her of a sleeping child. The smile vanished from her lips as her thoughts drifted to another man she knew - that she thought she knew - her brother Ari. She had loved him so much when she was a child looking up to him wanted to be like him in so many ways...

She sighs angrily at herself, rapidly brushing the tears away as they start to water her eyes. The past is the past she wanted to leave it behind her . Eli David had made his choices and she had made hers.

She was now with NCIS and she was starting to feel as if she really belonged there.

McGee, Abby, Gibbs, Ducky, Tony and even Jimmy had all contributed for that feeling to grow stronger so now she was determined to do something in return and right that meant keeping an eye on DiNozzo.

About half an hour later, Ziva watches as DiNozzo starts to moan, restless. Sweat starting to pearl on his forehead, turning and returning over and over in bed until he suddenly woke up with a start yelling "NOOOOO!"

The agent had been sitting in a chair in the corner of the bedroom, watching over him quite a while actually, since they had brought him home. Ziva who was normally uncomfortable in these sorts of situations felt almost at ease.

Sitting on the bed close to him. "It's alright, Tony, it's alright. I'm here." She told him in a voice she hoped to be soothing.

DiNozzo who hadn't fully emerged from his nightmare turned his head to the sound of the voice. "Abby?"

"No, Tony it's me, Ziva"

"Ziva?" DiNozzo repeated, looking around, his eyes unfocused.

The sight broke Ziva's heart. As his eyes focused on her again, she could see fear in them. Visibly Tony had had a nightmare and thought he was still in it.

"Where's Abby?" Was Anthony's next question.

With his question Ziva's eyes filled up with tears. Had he forgotten what had happened to her? Was it just because he wasn't fully awake yet? How was she supposed to tell him that the woman he considered his little sister had died?

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she reached out and placed one hand on the small of his back, rubbing slightly in soothing motions before slowly pulling him closer to her. It was an action she would never have done in other circumstances, but she needed to hold him as much as he needed to be hold. Tears kept rolling down her cheeks as she felt his arms come around her.

Ziva felt her shirt slowly get wet as Tony was crying against her chest. Suddenly understanding why fear had shined in his eyes had he had woken up. Tony had wanted her to tell him that it had only been a nightmare, nothing else. He needed to ear that the reality wasn't like the horrible dream he had. He needed to be reassured that Abby, his little sister was safe in her lab and drinking Caf-Paw.

Tony needed to hear it, but in his heart he knew it would be a lie, Abby was gone. DiNozzo took a deep breath and the tears stopped rolling down his cheek after a little while, but the images in his head didn't. Tony squeezed his eyes shut he tried to clear his head a bit without much success though. The scenes kept flashing back, some of them were really vivid that they took his breath literally away.

When DiNozzo found his breath back he started to speak in a voice broken and somewhat above a whisper his nightmare to the young agent.

"I saw Abby get killed again, in her lab, everything was the same, except this time, it wasn't Chip who stabbed her, no it wasn't..." His voice trailed off as new tears watered his eyes, but he kept going, "if felt like I was watching everything happen without being able do anything to save Abbs. NOTHING! I saw and knew what was going to happen, but I was paralyzed, Ziva! Bloody damn paralyzed!" He yelled as tears rolled down his cheeks once more.

"Tony, calm down." She told him.

"We were able to safe a fair amount of life during cases, so why not hers?" He asked, aggravated.

"I don't know." she sighed heavily.

"She's never done anyone any arm. She tried to help the people around her, so why? Why Ziva?" DiNozzo asked as anger crept through his voice.

"I don't know, Tony, I don't know." Ziva told him.

"Abby didn't deserve to die!"

"Tony who was it?" She asked him, softly as she caressed the nap of his neck.

He tilted his head slightly to the right and questioningly looked, "What?"

"Who was it that killed Abbs in your dream?" She hoped to stop him from going down the guilt road again.

After a moment, DiNozzo tried again, but failed. "It was... it was..."

The woman holding him pulled back slightly and looked him in the eyes, and what she saw in them startled her. Sadness, angriness, fear and incomprehension, all at once. Ziva was about to tell him that it was only a nightmare, but held her tongue.

For some reason, her guts told her that his nightmare held the key to find Abby's murderer. Silence fell in the room as they simply looked at each other and held one another.

The thought of calling Ducky briefly crossed her mind, but she didn't. Tony didn't need anything he talked to her, and that was a good thing.


	16. Chapter 16

At Gibbs's place, two naked bodied where lying in bed together. Gibbs's lips were covering her soft skin with kisses, leaving it on fire, soft moans escaping her mouth. Abby felt herself melting under his kisses, her arms were stretched about her head, one leg stretched as well while the other came up, her action made Gibbs chuckle against her skin.

"You like what I'm doing, Abbs?"

"Hmmm, no... I'm loving it."

The exploration kept going slowly as Gibbs was determined to show her how much she meant to him. He loved actions more than words, Abby knew that, but she was about to discover exactly how much.

Reaching her belly, he only placed his lips a few times on the area, darted out his tongue to lick around her navel before tracing the sensitive line where the waistband of panties would be if she'd have wearing them. A strange sound passed her lips making Gibbs's lips curve into a proud smile against her skin.

His next action was to kiss his way back up her body; Abby made a whimper of disappointment as she wanted him so badly to kiss other parts on her skin. With a sexy smile on his lips he found her mouth again.

This kiss was passionate but languid, their tongues teasingly caressing, making them both moan in pleasure, both exploring new territories they had wanted to discover for years. Abby's arms slowly snaked around his neck, while his own arms found their way on her lower back pulling their bodies even closer together. The woman he held in his arms gasped in pleasure as she felt his manhood press against her thighs. Their _mouth game_ continued, as neither of them wanted to stop the pleasure that the kiss initiated - even to breathe.

Their foreheads rested together, they both slowly opened their eyes, their vision still blurred as they fought to regain their breathing. A few moments later, a lazy smile appeared on both their lips.

"I liked that very much" Abby told him.

"Me too," Gibbs admitted in a whisper.

"Definitely worth the wait." The forensic scientist told the man who was still smiling at her.

As he kept watching her emerald green eyes, he saw a new glint shine in them and he knew he was in trouble. Every time, she looked at him like that, he was lost, she could ask him anything and he'd do it.

His thoughts drifted for a moment as he realized that it hadn't really changed from their everyday life at NCIS, there he was the boss and he had to put a brick wall around him to protect her, himself, the team. If someone discovered the true nature of his feelings for her, he would become an easy target.

Someone had discovered that, and that was why it all happened. He forced his focus back on Abby, refusing to go down that slippery road again. The fact that he actually was with her might be a good thing. She was dead for everyone who knew her. Angel O'Flannigan would replace her and if she was discovered anyway it might destabilize whoever wants to kill and bring him or her into the broad daylight.

A wicked smile curved the corner of his lips, his eyes were shining with love, and hope, new hope that everything would be fine. This might actually be a perfect way to handle things.

_Crazy, dangerous, but perfect!_

Reading his thoughts, Abby whispered, "It's dangerous, crazy, but it will work, I know it."

Gibbs's eyes looked at her surprised, not sure why she had just said that, but then as he searched her eyes, he knew. She knew exactly what he had been thinking about because she must have thought along the same way.

"I love you." He murmured.

The man's confession had been barely audible, but Abby had heard his words, making her heart swell with joy and her eyes brim with tears and happiness. She knew he loved her, he had said so since she stood in his basement, telling him that all this had been set up with the help of Fornell and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He had voiced the feelings a few moments ago when he said *me too* but hearing the three words now give an entirely new level to them.

"I love you, too," was her whispered response.

Brushing her fingers lightly against his cheek, she asked "Do you think I can have more of those amazing lips on mine again?"

"Your wish is my command" He said, before kissing her again.

The kiss matched the previous one while Gibbs disentangled his arms from under her which allowed his hands to caress her. They lingered in the small of her back and his fingers traced small patters, before they traveled lower to find their way to her right thigh right next his hand caressed her leg stopping right behind her knee.

Abby moaned softly, loving the fact that his hands were heating her skin.

Every single thing he did heated her inside and out.

Her hands didn't stay inactive as they were traveling on his broad shoulders, and his biceps, enjoying the movement of the muscles tracing every line longingly, her lips left feather light kisses on his shoulders then her lips soaked his mouth again. Gibbs fingers hooked behind her knee and pulled her leg up, making her moan in pleasure in his mouth when she felt his cock brush at her sex, pulling at her leg a few more times before he finally released it.

A disappointed moan was the reaction he got.

His head titled back slowly to break the kiss and chuckled.

"Patience, Abbs," He murmured as he leaned in to brush his nose against hers.

"I'm not sure I have patience right now, Gibbs. I've been waiting for this to happen for so long." She told him in a hoarse voice.

"And you think I haven't? That is exactly the reason why I won't rush things up, I want to make love to you, not just have sex with you. There a difference."

"I know but..."

Gibbs had no intention to let him talk her into something else. He was determined to make love to her, he wanted to turn her into mush, he wanted her to never forget their first time together as lovers. He had nearly lost her. She had to understand that it had nearly killed him.

The NCIS team leader had lost so many loved ones that he was starting to feel jinxed, it happened too often; even though death was part of life, the marine gunny wanted to start taking care of the ones he loved that were still alive and he was determined that he going to start showing them and telling them how he felt.

In the beginning it wasn't going to be easy, but the man was determined to stick to his new plan of action.

"No buts, Abbs." He told her in such a voice she felt that it had no use to emit any protest, she knew he wouldn't give in no matter how much she would try. *1

His voice was so tender, but a tint of anguish was mixed in it adding lots of other emotions in it, she wasn't even sure she could identify them all.

Sighing she lifted her head up to catch her lips with his, in a soft kiss. Gibbs answers her kiss, deepening it. Exploring every corner, inch of her mouth as he had done before. He felt Abby going limp and he broke the kiss, his lips now kissing her chine, her throat, her neck line, the valley between her breasts.

A moment later, his mouth was closed on her left breast; he felt Abby arched her back as she moaned while his tongue circled the pink nipple. Pleasantly surprised he continued his ministrations has his right hand cupped the lonely other breast.

A very low growl escaped her lips, as the man closed his fingers around the taut nipple and toyed with it, arching her back even more, she threw her head back, Abby had the impression she had no control on her body anymore. Never had she been so responsive to any other men she had shared the sheets with.

His mouth gave her other breast some attention as his slipped down the curve of her legs, stopping just behind her knee like he had done with the other legs and once again pulled it up, teasing before he let it go. The scientist in Abby was completely gone . she was close to not knowing who she was anymore. All that matter was how his hands and his mouth felt on her skin. And oh they felt so good.

Kisses kept coming on her skin, until he arrived at her black curls at her jointure of her tights, he teased be brushing his lips against them, the contact brief, too soon interrupted. The next thing she knew his lips where on hers again, sweet, hot perfect.

"I love you," he murmured against her lips as he glided inside her. Moaning into the kiss, Abby couldn't believe how good he felt inside of her. At that exact moment she knew that no other man would share her bed ever again

Gibbs broke the kiss, in need for air, he then tilts his head back, looking down at her, she was glowing, her eyes were closed. Tears rolled down her cheeks, the dimmed light and the atmosphere of the room gave Gibbs the impression they looked similar to diamonds as rolled down her cheeks.

The sight made his heart stop as he thought he had hurt her, but her face showed nothing but peace. Gibbs knew then without a doubt that she felt the same way about him.

She was so beautiful and prefect he realized. She sensed he was watching her; she looked up at him and smiled.

"I love you." She whispered and he bent down to place a soft kiss on her nose, as her hands found their way back to his shoulders, Abby ground her hips, his hint to start moving. Their bodies dance started slow and built up in intensity until they exploded, breathless, unable to say a word, and completely satisfied.

Gibbs rolled off of her, pulled her toward him as he was on his back. His lips placed a kiss atop her head as he pulled her covers up on their rapidly cooling down bodies. The room fell silent for a moment, the only audible thing their breaths slowly returning to normal.

Abby broke the silence once she had shifted in his arms so she could look at him.

"I don't regret telling you..." She paused looking at him. "It's worth the risk."

Not a word left Gibbs' lips; all he did was look at her intently before placing a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"I've been thinking." Abby spoke again.

"About what?"

"I'm gonna have my hair cut." Were her next words to him as she leaned forward to press her lips to his.

Then she added, "It'll be safer. A wig could detach, but when it's your own hair..." She giggled.

"Okay, sounds indeed safer, and who knows maybe I'll prefer you with short hair." He teased her.

Abby smiled, "Maybe."

Gibbs's face turned serious then as he said "Have you thought about creating Angel O'Flannigan a background?"

"I thought about it, but I first wanted to talk with you about it."

Gibbs lifted an eyebrow. "Why?"

"One of my rules is 'When you do something do it right or don't do it at all.'"

"Pretty good one," he said, letting his finger play lazily on her back.

"And if I remember correctly, you said you were going to fall in love with her or did I misunderstand you?"

"I might have mentioned that, yeah." Gibbs said stealing another kiss from her.

"Gibbs, please."

"Please what?" He smirked.

"This is serious." Abby did her best to sound annoyed, but failed.

"I know it is." Gibbs said as he pulled up one elbow to kiss her chin then her throat.

"Well then, you started the subject." Abby answered weakly.

"Technically you did, and yes it's important, very important, but right now there is something more important."

"And that would be?"

"To remind you and your body how much I love you." He told her as his lips paid attention to her breasts now, and Abby gave up. The sensation of his lips on her skin was way too enjoyable.


	17. Chapter 17

Her head was resting on his chest as they tried to regain their breaths. Abby giggled against his skin, "At this rate we won't manage to do anything constructive, mister Gibbs."

"I am not sailing under Captain Jack Sparrow's orders on the Black Pearl, Abbs."

The emerald eyed scientist looked at the blue eyed man was visibly seemed pleased by the expression on Abby's face. She was somewhat stunned and surprised "I can't believe, you just said that. Two years ago, you didn't even know who Johnny Depp was and now, you referred to one of his best and most famous roles..."

Gibbs looked at her mischievously and chuckled. "I surprised you, didn't I?"

"What can I say? You definitely are a man full a surprises, Gibbs."

"Well to be honest with you, I was kind of tired of you guys talking about _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and Johnny Depp, I mean even Ziva, Palmer and Ducky mentioned him. And they are not exactly movie freaks like DiNozzo. I wanted to know so I decided to rent the movie and watch it. And I must say, it wasn't that bad. It made me laugh."

"I wish I would have been there with you so I could have witnessed you laughing at something Captain Sparrow did. I love it when you laugh, it's so sexy."

"Humm, so you think my smile is sexy?"

"It damn sure is, Gibbs, *you* are sexy." She assured him.

"Then I'll have to watch the movie again but with you."

"That'd be great!" Abby said excitedly.

"I really loved the scene where Jack tries to get the sword out of the wooden door at the blacksmith's place."

"Definitely one of my favorite scenes in the movie as well."

His smirk widened "Now, I start to understand why you guys referred to the character and the movie more than once..." He told her his eyes looking suddenly unfocused as he was remembering.

"Not a word to Tony about me watching movies, otherwise..." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Gibbs wanted nothing more than to slap himself on the back of the head.

Gibbs could see a sad expression pass in her beautiful eyes for a second, but she quickly laughed it off. Knowing that if she didn't, she would end up mulling and probably cry and she had done enough of that already.

"Not a chance, if he'd know, you wouldn't hear the end of it, you'd surely end up killing him." Abby said pushing herself off of his chest to lay down on her back next to him for a moment, then Abby rolled to her side.

"Yes, and I'm not certain if I would head slap him it would do the trick." Gibbs grinned.

Laughing Abby, pictured the scene in her mind's eye; _Tony running away from Gibbs as he would threaten his senior agent to fire him if he ever made a comment over the fact his boss was now watching movies._

Yes that would definitely be funny to see.

A small part of her hope that one day DiNozzo would make a comment just for the fun of it.

Turning serious again she pulls herself up on one elbow to be able to look down into his deep icy blue eyes she loved so much.

"Did you leave the letter somewhere for Tony to find it?"

"Yes, I did. No worries, Abbs, he'll find it."

Abby smiled but her eyes betrayed her true feelings. Gibbs could see how much she was suffering from the situation and what she had done to Tony, even as she knew she had had no other choice. Guilt weighing heavily on her shoulders.

Gibbs shifted to lie on his side and face her, one his hands caressed her cheek slowly.

"No matter what will happen, Abby. Tony loves you. He will understand, I promise."

"I don't even know if the situation were reversed, I would understand."

"I know you would, my little squint. I know you would because that's how you are. First you would be mad, but as you are a scientist first, you would evaluate every single option and you would make your conclusions" Gibbs stated as his other had snaked to the base of her neck and pulled her toward him for his lips to kiss hers.

The forensic scientist titled her had back and frowned at him. "How do you know for sure Tony will understand?" Abby asked him.

A smile curved the corners of his mouth.

"Because he loves you, just like me - well not exactly like me, - but he loves you, just like we all do, Abbs, that's the reason why I know he'll understand, it might take a while, but he will understand, because no matter what kind of love we feel for you... It's still love and if there is one thing I have learned from everything I've already been through in my life is that love is the strongest feeling on Earth. It can move mountains, and overcome everything."

As she listened to his words, her eyes filled up with tears. Gibbs could be so different. Sometimes, she had to remind herself that he was the same man. Her boss at work and her lover at night.

Since they were together he was so more open. It's true than when think the person love has died to discover later that she is in fact still alive it changes a lot of things.

They are probably the same feelings that are going through you when you have a near death experience. When you realize you have a second chance at life, you appreciate what you have twice as much.

"How is it that you always know what to say to me so I would feel better," Abby asked him.

"Because of what I just told you, Abbs, I love you." Gibbs told her in a soft and comforting voice. It still amazed him how easily the words could roll out of his mouth now. He liked the sound of them when the words came through his lips.

"And I love you, Gibbs, always have and always will."

All the man could do was smile at her. He couldn't help it, each time, she said those three words to him he was overwhelmed by a surge of warmth. Sure other women had said those words to him after he had lost Shannon and Kelly, but none of those women had made him feel warm inside when he heard them, not one.

Abby always initiated a wave of warmth that would heat up his entire body making him feel loved, cherished and invisible. Gibbs knew. He knew without the shred of a doubt he had been given a second chance at love. He'd always thought that a man had one true love in a lifetime, apparently some people deserved two, Abby was proof of it.

His love for her was so strong that it scared him most of the time. He never thought he'd ever feel like this again. Gibbs thought that those feelings had been buried forever, but here he was feeling them all over, thanks to his forensic scientist.

A sparkle suddenly appeared in his eyes making Abby wonder.

Abigail's head titled slightly as it was pressed on the pillow while she was facing him. "What?" Abby smiled, curious.

"Maybe, I should start calling you by your new name."

Abby smirked at Gibbs. "You want to call me Angel?"

"I know it might sound weird, but this way it will be easier to get used to it." Gibbs told her, losing himself in emerald green eyes.

"No, it's a good idea. It might be fun."

He smiled but his eyes had shifted to another slightly darker shade of blue. "We cannot afford to make any mistakes right now, Abbs, it'd be too dangerous. We're gonna change the situation and try to turn it to our advantage. The hunter will become the hunter, but it's not without any risks." His voice trailed off.

Abby reached out and caressed his cheeks slowly as she could sense his fear. "It's gonna be fine, Gibbs. I'm gonna be fine. Yes, it's gonna be dangerous, but I know I will be safe because you'll be there to protect me."

As usual she had read him like an open book.

"If something would happen to you, Abby, I would die. I won't be able to go through this pain again. I won't. It was too horrible, it felt has if someone had ripped my heart out my chest and had shred it into pieces. Having had a glimpse of what my life would have been without you was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, Abby even if it has only been for a couple of hours."

Abby moved closer to him and hugged him tightly. They stayed like this a few moments before they pulled back, smiling at one another. They shared a passionate kiss and Gibbs's hand starts to caress the side of her torso as Abby lifts her knee up along his leg.

The action making him moan into the warmth of her mouth. Reminding him of the amazing time they'd had hours ago. And wanting nothing more than to reiterate their love making and from Abby's way of responding to his him he wasn't the only one.

Breaking the kiss in order to breathe. Gibbs leaned on her a little bit more heavily to make her feel that he wanted her to roll on her back again. Abby knew were this was going to lead to and she loved it. Now that she had had a taste of what it was like to be with him physically she couldn't get enough of his touch.


	18. Chapter 18

Ziva and Tony held on to each other for a long while before finally pulling away from one another. As she looked him in the eyes, she was happy to see a tiny light shining in them again. It was at that precise moment that Ziva David knew that they could finally move forward.

DiNozzo was still grieving and would for a while longer, but he was also ready to take steps forward to catch whoever it was that had taken away his little sister. They were now sitting in the kitchen sipping on their mugs of steaming coffee.

Tony's blue eyes seem to stare out into emptiness. The woman sitting across wondered what he was thinking about. It didn't take long before she had her answer.

"We have to catch that monster, Ziva." Tony said abruptly.

"We will Tony, we will."

"Chip isn't dead so we should go and question him first thing tomorrow."

"We will do no such a thing, Tony." Agent David calmly replied.

DiNozzo looked at her with a angry look "Why not?"

"First of all because he's not in a state to talk yet. And second, we have the entire week off."

"The week off, what the hell is Director Sheppard thinking?"

"It's was Ducky's idea, Tony, and Gibbs agreed to it." She explained.

"How so? Gibbs would never have agreed to that, I'm sure. The first 48 hours are the most important when it comes to solving a crime." DiNozzo stated.

"Yeah, I know but that would be in normal circumstances. Abby was our friend, you cannot just snap your fingers and say you're over it. Neither of us can, and Gibbs would never allow anyone else but us to handle this no matter what the Director says or anyone else for that matter."

"I know but a whole week?"

"Doctor's orders." Ziva smiled.

"Alright, I surrender. But not being able to go at NCIS doesn't mean we can't think about the case, right?" Tony mused as he stood up to go and get some notepads and a couple pencils.

He was talking out loud as he looked for what wanted when he suddenly stopped. Tony had just found the notepad and was about to go back to the kitchen when his eyes caught the sight of the black envelope.

DiNozzo heart stopped beating for a second. On the envelope, in white, was his name, written in very familiar handwriting.. Abby's handwriting.

Tony couldn't move anymore; his feet felt as if they had suddenly been glued to the floor. His throat was dry and he had to concentrate very hard on how to breathe.

The only thing he could still do was stare at the black envelope on the desk where he had gotten the notepad from.

"Tony?'

Silence was all Ziva received as a response.

"Tony did you find the note pad and the pencil you were looking for?" The young woman asked as she had come to see if he needed any help. The moment she saw him she immediately knew something was wrong.

"Tony is everything okay?"

Heavy silence was all that answered her. Ziva realized then that DiNozzo was staring at something so she followed his line of vision and gasped when she saw Abby's typical handwriting on a black envelope.

As her colleague and friend didn't move, she reached out to take it, but was stopped in the movement by Tony's hand her arm.

"No, Ziva, it's addressed to me."

"You sure you don't want me to read it?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright then, but I'm staying here in case you need me."

Tony nodded his head "Don't worry, Ziva, I'm gonna be fine."

"Okay" She simply acknowledged.

Envelope in hand, DiNozzo retreated into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Ziva started at the closed door for a moment, hoping with all her heart that the content of the letter would not crush her friend too much.

Anthony DiNozzo sat on his bed contemplating the handwriting, slowly brushing his fingers over it. After a moment he opened it, his heart beating loudly in his chest as he unfolded the black sheet and started to read:

_Dear Tony,_

_I'm sure as you're reading this letter you are wondering why I'm taking the time to write to you instead of calling you, right? Yeah, that's exactly what you're doing. I know you so well, I've always been able to read you like an open book. (Smile)_

_But if you are reading this letter it also means that something has happened to me._

_I don't want to you to be sad but if you are, just think about this poem written by Mary Elisabeth Fry in 1932._

_I know you're not the kind of guy that is into poems, but do me a favor and read it anyway._

_Do not stand at my grave and weep,_

_I am not there; I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow,_

_I am the diamond glints on snow,_

_I am the sun on ripened grain,_

_I am the gentle autumn rain._

_When you awaken in the morning's hush_

_I am the swift uplifting rush_

_Of quiet birds in circling flight._

_I am the soft starlight at night._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry,_

_I am not there; I did not die._

_I saw something I shouldn't have and to protect you all I decided to go and ask Fornell for help, but I guess he must have failed too. So Tony, now it's up to you and the team to step in and find who did this to me._

_Promise me one thing though. Promise me that whatever you discover you'll never hate me big brother._

_I'll always love you,_

_Abby_

**_PS: What the eye sees isn't always what's real._ **

Tony's eyes were wet as he finished reading the later. He couldn't help wonder why Abby had written such a post scriptum.

As Tony came out of his room, Ziva frowned as she saw the expression on his face. She had expected him to have cried, but not to look dumbfounded.

"Are you alright, Tony?" She asked him as she moved closer to where he was.

"Yes. Yes, I am. It's just something Abby wrote in the letter that is bothering me a bit.

"Why?"

"The post scriptum says: _What the eye sees isn't always what's real."_

"I don't see why it's bothering you, Tony, it's true."

"I know Ziva but I have the impression there is more to this letter."

"What do you mean?"

"Abby never did or said anything without a reason, not even in letters that we sent to one another. I'm telling you there is more to this."

"All right, all right, I believe you." She said and placed a gentle hand on his forearm.

"I need to go and see Gibbs."

"No, DiNozzo, you don't."

"Yes, I do." He said in a firm voice.

"No, Tony." Ziva told him as she squeezed his arms softly.

Tony looked Agent David in the eyes and nodded. DiNozzo felt anger and loneliness invade him so he went to the kitchen with Ziva and sat on one of the chairs.

He let go of the letter and took his head in his hands as Abby's words were spinning in his mind.

What had she seen that was big enough for her to get killed?


	19. Chapter 19

"Gibbs, please..." Abby moaned.

"Something wrong, Abbs?" he asked her as a smirk lifted the corners of his lips.

"Well let's say that I usually love teasing, but right now, I want you inside me real bad."

When she got no reaction, she let out a sigh of frustration and bucked her hips up in hope the man who was driving her insane would do something. He finally did by pushing one finger even deeper inside her. Abby couldn't help but cry out in pure pleasure…

Followed by a moan of disappointment when he withdrew it.

"Gibbs..."

His body pressed against hers a few instants later as he kissed her with tenderness while his knee pushed her legs further apart. He entered her slowly as Abby gasped in pleasure. It wasn't the first time, and yet it felt as if it was.

Like each and every time, Gibbs looked down into her eyes when he was settled into her.

"I love you so much, Abbs." He said as he let go of her lips.

"I love you too, Gibbs. I thought you were going to call me Angel?"

"Yes, but I simply wanted to tell Abby once again how much she means to me, because she has to disappear for a while."

"In that case, Abby wants you to show her one last time how much you love her." Abby told him and bucked her hips, telling him with her body that she wanted him to move.

He started to withdraw out of her almost completely, just his tip kept teasing her. As a response, she moaned; Abby loved when he teased her like that. Gibbs knew what to do to make her body go crazy.

Abby tangled her fingers in his short gray hair and pulled his head toward her as she wanted his lips on hers again and to tell him to push back into her - which he did. The kiss deepened as did the thrusts until she broke the kiss in need for air but that wasn't the only reason why. She wanted more, needed more.

"More, more, give me more." She begged and bucked her hips into him.

He wasn't a man that would deny her anything and definitely not in bed, but he couldn't help but be a little surprised. Gibbs plunged into her again. Abby lifted her legs up and around his waist, locking her ankles around the small of his back.

The coming and going went faster and harder for sometime longer and then she cried out his name in pleasure as her insides exploded and her body trembled with the power of her release. Abby knew Gibbs would wait for her body to calm fully down.

Gibbs felt her hands slide down the sides of his body then before they halted themselves on his butt as she pulled him even deeper.

"Don't stop..." She told him in a ragged breath.

"Abbs..." He started to protest.

"Don't stop." She repeated.

Gibbs hesitated just for a split second, but did as she'd asked.

The waves rolled inside her over and over again. The feeling was amazing, it made her arch her back, her fingers nails dig into his flesh as her the pressure on his lower back increased where her ankles pressed against his skin. The sight of her arched body drove Gibbs mad, his thrusts became faster and harder with each of the gasps, moans and cries that escaped her mouth before he finally exploded inside of her in an intense release.

Abby was the only one that could make his body respond like that. Waves of pure bliss rolled through his as he felt Abby's inner muscles contract around him. Gibbs bit his lower lip as Abby loosened her grip as her body slowly came down on the bed again.

Their breaths came out in puffs as they tried to focus on their surroundings. Gibbs held himself up on his elbows in order not to crush her with is weight as he collapsed on top of her.

"Wow!"

"That's an understatement, Abbs" He said, as he smiled down at her.

Abby slowly let her legs come down from around him and Gibbs rolled off of her to lie on his back and pul her toward him.

The covers were pulled up, their rapidly cooling bodies. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep in each other's arms.

000

The letter Abby had written to him spiraled in Tony's head along with a myriad of questions...

_Why hadn't he found that letter before? Why did she write it? Why didn't she come to them? They would have found a way to protect her. They always did._

Tony stood up abruptly and started to run - he was out of the door a few moments later.

"TONY!" Ziva yelled, as she ran after him.

DiNozzo didn't turn or stop as he heard her call, he just kept running. He needed to clear his head. He wanted to be alone for a moment.

"TONY!"

Tony stopped and finally looked at her.

"Don't worry, Ziva, I won't do anything stupid, I just need sometime alone that's all. I'll be back in an hour or so, you can stay here if you want."

"What are you going to do?" She asked.

"Nothing. I just want to take some fresh air to clear my head."

Ziva David studied her colleague for a moment, not entirely convinced with his explanation, but decided to give him some slack.

"Alright, but you call me when you get back, okay?"

A soft, timid smile found its way on DiNozzo's lips as he nodded his head.

"I'll do that, promise."

"Alright then," she nodded.

"Oh and Ziva..."

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

The woman didn't answer, she just looked at him, her eyes telling him what she couldn't voice. She was glad he seemed visibly doing better though she wasn't ready to state that he was fully over Abby's death, but he was doing better, the letter had done him good.

For a moment, Ziva was tempted to follow him, but decided against it. If he needed her, she knew he would call.

 _Run, Forrest, run_ , was DiNozzo's thought as he ran. Except that in the movie, Forrest Gump was running from a bunch of idiots. Tony was trying to run away from memories…. Memories of his best friend, memories he was trying to forget because it hurt to think of her.

But no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't. Abby's beautiful eyes and smile came back over and over again. And as he kept running, Tony hadn't really paid attention to his surroundings, so he was surprised when he found himself standing outside the cemetery where she had been buried.

_Okay. I got the message._

He took a deep breath before he entered the sacred place. It had been ages since he'd last came to a cemetery - well not ages seeing he was here when they'd buried his best friend, - but ages since he had really took the time to pay his respects to someone.

As walked through the alleys, he took the time to read some of the inscriptions on the gravestones; some were really beautiful. One of them caught his eye and broke his heart.

_Josh Winston_

_March 15, 2004 - May 17, 2004_

_We were so happy when we knew you were going to be a part of our family._

_We were so happy to wait for you for nine months._

_It would be perfect._

_We had prepared everything for your arrival; we were going to be a perfect family just the three of us._

_Then finally, you came into our world, the happiest day of our lives._

_The two months following were the most wonderful, but then you were gone._

_Taken away from us, forever._

_Our little angel, I hope that wherever you are… love and, other angels surround you. We are grateful because you were allowed to share our life for almost a year._

_You were only two months old when you left us, but you were part of our lives from the moment we knew we were going to be parents._

_We loved you then, we love you now and we'll always love you._

_Your Parents._

_How was it possible to survive the loss of a two months old baby?_ He already had tremendous difficulties in accepting the loss of his best friend so he couldn't begin to start to imagine how the parents of Josh would feel like. Were they still together? They wouldn't be the first couple to break apart after the death of child, let alone a baby.

 _Life's pretty unfair. The best thing to do is try to make the best out of everything, even the worst._ The NCIS agent chuckled lightly as he realized that his thoughts could pretty much have been Abby's.

"Is that why you brought me here?" He asked, when looking at the sky.

No answer came to him except for a slight breeze.

A smile caressed his lips, _knowing you Abby; this is probably why you brought me over here._ Anthony DiNozzo walked further into the cemetery, looking at the inscriptions. Some of the were really moving to read before finally stopping at Abby's.

He knelt down and reached out his head to brush away some of the leaves and petals of some of the flowers that had been placed on the stones and had been blown into the wind to rest on Abby's grave.

As he closed his eyes, brief flashes of Abby's funeral appeared behind his eyelids. Tony could never forget that day for has long as he'd live. Kate's funerals had been difficult to suppress emotions, but at Abby's it had been worse. So many people had attempted it; she was so much loved. You couldn't do anything else than crying at the sight of others doing so. Though everybody present knew she wouldn't have liked seeing so many people cry over her, they couldn't help themselves.

Abigail Sciuto was just the kind of person you were drawn to, but matter what your roots were. She loved everyone, saw only the good in people, and always made you feel at ease.

_Abby, I need your help, please help me to find whoever did this to you..._

**000**

The sound of footsteps on the floor resounded in the private office as they were passing. The ice cubes danced against the glass as the liquid moved with each step that was made.

 **"** I can't believe it! Now she's dead and he still didn't come to me! She's FINALLY GONE AND HE STILL HASN'T COME TO ME!"

The next thing that could be heard was a whiskey glass shattering into a million pieces as it crushed against the wall. A bitter laugh was heard then as the whiskey made its course down the wall, leaving behind a wet trail, much like the tears on Tony's face when he reminisced over his lost friend.

"YOU'LL BE MINE AGAIN GIBBS, NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO DO... BUT YOU'LL BE MINE AGAIN!"


	20. Chapter 20

Gibbs and Abby had finally managed to get out of bed, reluctantly so, but they had. They both felt genuinely happy. They were sitting in the kitchen eating the food Gibbs had cooked for them. Both sitting opposite from one another at the table, they smiled at each other whenever they looked up from their meals. Their meals. Abby and Gibbs had ordered Chinese food earlier, which they'd cancelled as their mind and bodies were still hungry but for another kind of food. Since they were both happily sore and satisfied, Gibbs called to place a new Chinese food order.

He watched Abby with a predatory look as she went to the bathroom. Finding his shirt on the way, she looked over her shoulder, licked her lips and blew him a kiss.

 _Damn, she's gorgeous._ Gibbs's couldn't help but think.

When both had come down to the kitchen, Abby sprinted to the front door as she remembered they had ordered food. Gibbs stopped her right before she could open the front door.

"No, don't!" Gibbs said firmly.

The scientist halted before turning on her heels to look at him, then suddenly, she understood. It was out of the question for her to open the door, it was too dangerous. If someone was watching Gibbs' house, they would know she was still alive and whoever was behind this would strike again.

Abby nodded her head and went back at the table.

Gibbs opened the door and picked up the food that sat there. At the door a post-it was plastered on one of the small food containers. **_"Enjoy. It's been paid for and I hope this food will bring you some comfort after the lost of your forensic scientist."_**

 _Something's not right here!_ Gibbs thought. He hurriedly placed the foot inside, grabbed for his gun and ran back outside in his bare feet, only wearing a pair of blue jeans.

"GIBBS!" Abby called horrified.

It took a few instants to realize the impact of her calling his name could have and she prayed that whoever had brought the food had already left when she had called out after him.

Gibbs headed back inside the house, then looked back around quickly. No one was there.

He lowered his gun, put the security back in place and put it between his back and the rim of his jeans, more has a reflex than out of necessity. Once inside again he closed the door behind him. The door was barely closed as Abby rushed in his arms.

"You okay?" She asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Abbs." He told her, tightening his arms around her.

"What was that all about? Why did you run out like that?"

Gibbs didn't say a word, he just let of Abbs and walked to the food box that was still on the floor. The forensic scientist watched him without a word, she saw him as he took the post-it. Her eyes still followed him as he came back to her and handed her the yellow square of paper.

She read the text written on it out loud.

"Enjoy! It's been paid for and I hope this food will bring you some comfort after the loss of your forensic scientist."

Abby read the text carefully before she looked at Gibbs. "I don't know who's behind this, _actually I think I know who is, but I still have to be sure before I tell you that,_ but that person is really clever."

The text was typed on the post it in _Alex Brush_ writing; she recognized it instantly as she frequently used it.

"Damn it!" Abby swore.

"Hey, don't worry, we'll get her." He told her and he hugged her.

The black haired scientist pulled back from the hug a little to be able to look at him.

"What makes you think it's a woman?"

"Oh come on, Abbs... You know it's a woman as well as I do. I don't think a man would pay for food for another man, except Fornell maybe... as we sometimes have dinner together to discuss a case, but he would never ever add something like I hope it will bring you comfort... No it's a woman."

"Yeah, you're right, I would bet my money on a woman, too, but who? One of your ex-wives?"

"Maybe. Two of them have tried to kill me before." He smirked.

"It's not funny, Gibbs!"

"It's gonna be okay. We'll get through this, together." Gibbs told her in a soft voice before he leaned forward to brush his lips with hers.

They held each other for a little longer before Gibbs told Abby he was going to call Ziva to see how Tony was doing. When he'd finished his phone call with Ziva, he'd come back to Abbs with a smile and told her that Tony seemed to be getting better.

He also told her that DiNozzo had found the letter and that it seemed to have been what he had needed to make him feel better. What he failed to mention was that he had told Ziva about the little post-it and asked her to do whatever she could with what he'd given her.

Gibbs also told Ziva he would bring her the square of yellow paper in the afternoon the next day.

A smile found its way on her lips and he was pleased to see it back there; he loved when she smiled.

As a common thought, they decided to see what was left in the fridge and fix themselves something with whatever was in there.

Abby had dressed the table while he had cooked.

"Maybe we should change our plans?" Abby suggested as she looked over at him.

Gibbs reached out his hand to touch hers over the table. "We'll change them if necessary, Abbs, but now it's better if we stick to or initial one. Like I said before, we have to become to hunter."

Abby nodded her head and a small smile was forced on her lips, but her eyes told him the true story behind her words. His favorite girl was terrified that anything might go wrong and that her friend's lives would be in danger.

As he read her eyes like in an open book, he removed his hand from under hers to place it on top so he could lace their fingers together.

"It's gonna work, I promise. It's not gonna be easy, but it will work."

This time the smile that appeared on her lips touched her eyes.

**000**

"You're gonna mine. Mine, mine again." The female voice sang.

Her fingers traced the curves of Gibbs's face from a picture. A smiled caressed her lips as she took a step back to admire the wall in front of her. It was pinned up with hundreds of pictures of Gibbs and the team.

Some had been tampered with. She'd made collages too. Her image was plastered over the faces of Tony, Ziva, and even Ducky. No matter the person who happened to stand close to him, her face had replaced the others.

"You're gonna be mine! Mine! Mine again! Even if it means that I have to kill them all, Jethro, you'll be mine, mine, mine again. And we'll be together FOREVER! Do you hear me, Jethro? FOREVER!" As the woman said the words, she was dancing.

_Mine, mine, mine, miiiinnnnnnne again._

Laughing she walked to her desk and sat in her leather chair. Her mind still inhibited with alcohol, she started up her laptop that was sitting on the desk in front of her.

As the woman waited for the machine to start up, she laughed as her mind brought her to the time she was happy with Gibbs. Her laugh died rapidly as her memories with Gibbs brought another woman in the picture. NCIS forensic scientist, Abigail Sciuto...

She had always been there, between them, even before. Abby was always more important. When she called him, nothing or no one else mattered.

Abby and her cute pigtails, her green eyes, her short skirts, and all her skills! Abby this... Abby that... It's always been Abby.

_Well I have a *news flash* for you Jethro... Abby's dead, because I killed her! Well Chip did it for me, actually, but still - he obeyed my command! Though thinking of it now, that idiot wasn't the best choice for the job, because all that had really mattered to him was to be able to frame Tony. Killing Abby was just sort of a bonus for him._

_Note for later; make sure this imbecile will never talk to anyone ever again!_

Back to the subject here: Gibbs...

**_"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."_ **

**_Yours forever._ **

Once she had typed the sentence, she printed it out and took an envelope. Carefully folding the piece of paper and sliding it in, she thought….

_I'll put it in your mailbox tomorrow. I could do it tonight, but I won't risk being arrested by the police because I have had one glass too many._

**000**

Ziva decided to do a little digging while Tony was away.

She would judge if she would tell him about what their boss had asked her to do.

Nice attention, but strange that it came just after Abby's death. Ziva had a suspicious mind, but her gut was telling her that there was more to this than a little attention.

This was only a beginning, the tip of the ice cube... Ziva thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grammar, syntax and everything else still seems to hate me though I do my best.  
> Thanks for your comprehension.


	21. Chapter 21

NCIS forensic scientist Abigail Sciuto was pacing as she waited for Gibbs to come back front the computer store. She had sent him to buy some equipment, but of course, not without a piece of paper where she had noted everything she needed. All he had to do was hand the paper to the seller.

It wasn't the only reason though she was pacing. She needed to find clothes she would be able to wear, and she needed her hair cut and dyed. The sooner the better. She also needed to figure out how she could cover her spider web tattoo efficiently during the day.

Gibbs and the team had still a week off, so she could have him a whole week to herself, but Abby was feeling restless; the note that had been left in the Chinese food bothered her, something didn't feel right about it.

She had this horrible feeling that this one was just the tip of the iceberg, and that that very same iceberg was as big as the one which sank the Titanic. It made her feel sick. As Abby, NCIS Forensic Scientist, she had to disappear completely from the face of the earth.

 _Girl where have you put yourself into?_ She thought.

Suddenly Abby doubted herself. _What if she had taken the wrong decision? What if involving Gibbs and telling him what was going on was the wrong thing to do? What if the decisions she'd made were going to be their death?_

"Abby?"

Gibbs got no response as he called out to her, when he entered his home so he placed everything that he had with him on the table and walked toward her. She jumped a little when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Abbs, you, okay?"

"Hmm? Yes, I'm fine." she told him while she looked everything but.

He lifted a brow, "the truth, Abbs." he said in a soft voice that soothed her a little.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips "I've doubts about the decisions I made." She admitted as she looked at the floor. The silver-haired NCIS agent standing in front of her reached out and hooked his index finger under her chin, and slowly lifted her head up until their eyes met.

"And why's that?"

"What if, all I did, was put all of your lives in danger, instead of trying to protect them?"

"Angel, you made the right decision and nothing else but the right ones. I promise."

Abby smiled at him then. "You called me, Angel."

"Did I?" Gibbs smirked, and leaned in to kiss her lips.

What he had intended to be a light and short kiss, quickly turned into a passionate one. When he finally pulled back in need for air, he smiled and rested his forehead against hers. "This wasn't what I wanted the kiss to be."

"No?" She pouted.

Gibbs chuckled and rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Do I?" She asked him as she smiled.

Abby brushed her lips against his and hugged him tightly.

"I've got your new laptop and cell phone; I put them on the table." Gibbs murmured in her ear.

"You're the best."

"Am I?"

"You are." She said, as she leaned forward to kiss him.

Abby moaned into his mouth, and she could feel warmth spread through her body, but there would be time for that later; right now she had to focus on starting up a new life - a temporary one, - but still. Abby sighed and pulled away from him. A chuckle escaped her at Gibbs's protest growl.

"I know, but we have lots of work to do before we can allow ourselves some dessert, but it'll be worth the wait."

As she started to walk away he, grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him to kiss her one last time.

The woman couldn't help but laugh because as much as all the situation they been forced into scared her, she was happy to be with him. After every dark cloud, a ray of sunshine found its way through, she thought happily. Gibbs watched her balance her hips as she walked over to the table to check out the stuff he had brought back for her.

"Do you think she would be able to wear jeans?" He suddenly asked. Abby looked at him over her shoulder. "Yes, why?"

"Just asking." He said mysteriously as he could with a twinkle shining bright in his eyes.

The forensic scientist pulled back a chair and sat at the table while the silver-haired man she loved so much headed for the fridge to get a beer. Reaching out, he took two bottles and set on the table for Abby before he left the room.

A smile graced her lips as she watched him walk away. And just for fun, she whistled her appreciation - the pair of jeans he was wearing hugged his buttocks perfectly. Abby was in awe at how his body was muscled. Ziva had been right, she thought and made a mental note to ask Gibbs to teach her the basics of fighting. Not that she really wanted to fight with anyone, but with that woman after Gibbs it might come in handy at some point.

But for now she needed to concentrate on the huge task ahead of her: putting together her fake new life.

**000**

"The tip of the ice cube..." Ziva said out loud.

"... Of the iceberg, Ziva."

Ziva gasped and turned to see Tony standing there a few feet away from her.

"Iceberg. Ice cube, whatever." She said annoyed waving her hand in the air.

DiNozzo walked closer to her and placed a hand on both her shoulders.

"Is everything, okay?"

When she looked in his eyes, he knew instantly that something was bothering her. She had that little something in her eyes that only showed when she was worried or bothered by something.

 _I have to tell him what's going on_ , she immediately thought.

"No. Everything is not okay." she said shaking her head slightly.

"What's wrong?"

Ziva pondered how to break the news to him for a few moments.

"Ziva..."

"Gibbs called me while you were gone. He asked if I could start some research..."

"On what? What happened?" Tony asked, a pitch of fear audible in his voice.

"Nothing horrible, Tony, there is no need to panic. Gibbs is fine. He'd ordered Chinese and when he went to open his front door, a container with the food lay at the door, no one in sight, and there was a note plastered on a Post-it that said: _*Enjoy, it's been paid for and I hope this food will bring you some comfort after the lost of your forensic scientist.*_ or something like that.

As he heard his colleague's words, DiNozzo's blood started to boil in his veins, _so it wasn't enough that they had lost their friend, but it was probably because of one of Gibbs' ex's that want him back!_

"One of Gibbs' ex's that wants him back?" He asked.

"My thought exactly."

"Damn it!"

"We have to call him, Ziva." DiNozzo told her as he reached for his cell phone.

Her hand was on his as he wanted to flip his phone open. "That's no use, Tony, he knows already. That's what he called me in the first place."

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait."

"Wait? You want us to stay here and wait patiently while one of his ex's tries to kill him?"

"Tony, Gibbs is safe. She doesn't want to kill him, she wants him back. She is, however, ready to kill any women that'll be too close to him." Ziva explained, a twinkle shimmering in her eyes.

"No way! My dear Israeli agent, you want to be asked to be the bait to catch whoever is behind this."

"Why not? It's perfect! I pretend to be with Gibbs and it would lock her out. I'm a trained Mossad agent, Tony!"

"How could I forget you are? Ziva there are holes in your plan. First of all, that woman knows probably everything from his life today so she knows you and even if you would disguise yourself to make sure, she wouldn't recognize you. Wearing a wig wouldn't be enough. You'd have to cut your hair, dye it even. Change your wardrobe, create yourself a new life. If you don't, that nut job would have figured you out in ten minutes. And that would be if you would still want to work at your usual work, in this case NCIS."

The words of Tony were sinking in and as she thought about them, she had to admit that he was right. Her idea was good, but she hadn't thought it through. So much for her perfect plan.

Ziva sighed heavily.

"So what do you propose then?" She asked him.

"Go to Gibbs's house, scan the piece of paper, and try to find anything on it."

Ziva nodded her head, and five minutes later they were on the road heading for Gibbs's place, with Tony sitting behind the steering wheel.

"Where did you go?"

"I'll tell you, later."


	22. Chapter 22

_I have to figure a way, to see how Chip is doing. If he happened to be on the better, I'll have to make sure he won't talk. Even if it means end his life. I won't hesitate a second._

_Gibbs is mine and I want him back. But I think I underestimated him. What was I thinking? The minute he would lose Abby, he'd come to me? Stupid bet. I have to figure out something else and fast. If he find someone well... I'll just get rid of her too. I'm smart enough to leave no traces. What Abby could do. I can do too._

_Now, back to work — finding a new plan of action to get Gibbs back into my bed — First things first post that little letter, I wrote him last night._

As she finished her coffee, and decided that today would be a good one. Things were going to go just the way she wanted them to then she stood up and grabbed her car keys.

Five minutes later, she was driving in the direction of the post office.

**000**

As she wheeled herself into the coffee shop for her morning coffee Dawn Wilkerson's thought were drifting toward NCIS special agent Anthony DiNozzo. It had been a while since she hadn't seen him or anyone else of the members of Gibbs' team and she had to admit, she missed them.

Dawn was ashamed of herself, and her behavior toward them. Abby Sciuto was her best friend. She hadn't even take five minutes, to call her and see how she was doing since she had left, thinking it would be better for them if they wouldn't see each other for a while. The fact was that she and Tony were getting along pretty fine and they'd become very close — the closeness was exactly the problem — she couldn't get him out of her mind anymore. Dawn had fallen in love with Tony DiNozzo. fallen bad and that's why she had left, she was scared that he wouldn't return her feelings, and scared that if he did that would end up hurting her.

She had overheard a conversation once while she was in the NCIS building; they were saying that DiNozzo was some sort of womanizer. She had known though from the moment she'd laid eyes on him, there was more to the agent than what he let on. She was the one who got scared and ran off. She had been the one had had cut off all contact with them all. Something she had regretted almost immediately, but had been too proud to admit it and therefore didn't want to go back.

They all knew why she'd done it, but they didn't accepted it that well, and Abby was the worst. She loved Dawn to pieces and she'd done anything for her, but this was something she wasn't likely to forgive easily.

Abby had called her and left her a message on her voicemail that the lawyer wouldn't forget for as long as she lived, because it was so un-Abby-like. It wasn't friendly at all, rather harsh even, Abby was crying as she was speaking it in and it made Dawn cry as well. Dawn decided that it was best to leave them no matter how hard it would be. When she wheeled herself at a table, she spotted someone reading the newspaper. She stopped her chair abruptly when she saw a picture of Abby and the headline **"NCIS Forensic Scientist Murdered"**

The man, who had entered after her ran into the back of her chair as he wasn't paying attention, all he had been looking at were the coffee choices he had.

"Hey, watch out!" He told, Dawn.

"Huh? I'm so sorry, sir." She mumbled as an apology and wheeled out of the coffee shop as fast as she possibly could. She stopped to buy a newspaper, and once she had it in her hands, she fumbled with it, blocking it between her legs so it wouldn't fly away when she would wheel herself to her place.

 _No. No this was impossible. Abby couldn't be dead._ Dawn thought as her vision began to blur as she entered her apartment.

The distance to the table, she was wheeling herself at, seemed twice longer has it had this morning when she left. Not bothering about anything else, she threw her keys that ended up in the couch. Not taking the time to take her coat off or taking her purse from around her neck.

The young lawyer took the newspaper from between her legs and threw it on the table. She took a deep breath and put on her brakes before she started to read the article as she did so tears started to roll down her cheeks. She had been so stupid. Abby was her best friend and she had let her down, had broken every strings, she had with her because she had been scared to give love and Tony a chance. Now... now, she's punished for what she had done. There was no way now, she could tell her friend how sorry she was. She couldn't tell her anything anymore because she had been murdered by the assistant NCIS Director Sheppard had assigned her.

For some reason Dawn had never liked Jenny Sheppard. To her, Jenny wasn't completely honest about how and why she had become the head of NCIS. Something was off. The other thing was that she couldn't understand how Gibbs had allowed the Director to give Abby an assistant with her in the lab. Abby loved to work — needed to work alone — Gibbs knew that better than anyone did so why? What had happened to him to allow it? Dawn felt she was going crazy. She had to go to Washington, D.C., she had to go and talk to them. Try to make things right, if not for herself for the sake of Abby's memory. Once she had finished reading the article, Dawn let her sorrow finally break free, and cried. Cried for the bad decisions she'd made, cried for the friends she'd lost, cried for the man she loved. It took a long while for her tears to subdue.

When she was able to breathe properly again, she went to grab a Kleenex from the box in her bedroom then she refreshed herself a little in her bathroom before going back to the table where she had read the article and took a few deep breaths and finally reached for her cell phone in her pocket.

The beats of her heart tripled as she composed Gibbs's cell phone number...

**000**

Gibbs was in his basement working with wood when his phone rang. He flipped it open once he had managed to get it out his jeans back pocket. Not bother to check the caller ID...

["Yeah, Gibbs."]

"Gibbs, it's Ziva. We're coming over to sc..." Ziva stopped herself from going any further as she suddenly realized that going to Gibbs' house had no use at all because the man has no computer, he hates them. He uses one at NCIS, but that's all."

["Ziva?"]

"Yeah, I'm still here. I was going to say that we were heading your way to scan something in. But it has no use, you don't own and PC or scanner."

["You could go and ask, Abb..."]

"It's okay, Gibbs, we'll go at NCIS and work from there. We'll be careful, I promise."

["Don't let Jen see you. I don't want her anywhere near this case."]

"All right."

["Tell, DiNozzo, I'm glad he's feeling better. I'll talk to you later, Ziva."] He told his agent and ended the communication.

When she put her phone back in her jacket pocket, Tony looked at her and almost immediately sensed that something was bothering her, so he decided to drive further until he would be able to stop the car somewhere.

Tony drove for two more minutes and pulled over before he killed the engine. He looked at Ziva then waited for her to speak which she didn't do immediately. She didn't even look at him for a couple of minutes, and when she finally did his heart cried. The woman sitting in the car next to him had watery eyes full of unshed tears.

DiNozzo knew, Ziva David was capable of showing her emotions from time to time when something really affected her, but for some reason, he was still not used to the sight. 'Vulnerable' and 'Ziva' were two words that didn't seem to fit together in his mind.

"What's going on?" Tony asked her, gently.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Ziva?" Tony pressed a little.

She sighed heavily and told him.

"It's just when I was on the phone with Gibbs and told him it had no use to come to his place cause he had no computer. He said that we could always go to NCIS and ask,.." Ziva stopped herself to take a deep breath before continuing, "He was going to say, ask Abby, but stopped himself just as he started to say her name. It broke my heart... I don't understand why it affects me like this."

Tony swallowed; he had a knot that was forming in his throat and his stomach. He knew this all too well. He was getting better that was for sure, but it had happened to him too, several times since Abby was gone. He had wanted to dial her cell phone number, just to hear her voice on the voicemail. More than once had he already wanted to say to go and ask Abby, because for a minute, just a small sixty seconds, he could manage to forget that he couldn't go to her because she's gone.

He reached out and took her in his arms, pulling her closer to him and to his surprise, she didn't resist him, all she did was holding on to him. After a moment, they pulled back, watching one another, their faces only inches apart. Ziva's eyes drifted to his lips before looking up in his eyes again. His did the same. They leaned in closer their lips were about to brush together.

Dawn's face suddenly materialized itself in Tony's mind and he pulled away abruptly from Ziva.

"Hmm, we... we... shouldn't do this... Rule #12..."

"Yes, right. We should... we'd better focus on... on finding anything about that square yellow piece of paper..."

"Right."

"It would have been for the wrong reason anyway..."

"Probably." Tony said as he sat back behind the wheel as Ziva sat back in her seat as well.

It didn't take long for them to hit the road again, driving in the direction of NCIS. The case was their priority and nothing else. DiNozzo couldn't help himself but wonder why Dawn Wilkerson's face had popped into his mind when he was about to kiss Ziva.

Dawn Wilkerson… Tony hadn't thought of her in months;, so why now? Tony suddenly understood that he missed her and he needed her back in his life. He had to find a way to bring her back in his life. They had to talk things through. The fact that she was in a wheelchair didn't matter. It would have matter, maybe, a few years ago — No, it wouldn't have mattered — because he's in love with her. And love conquers all.


	23. Chapter 23

Gibbs looked at his cell phone as it vibrated in his hand, his eyes fixed on the name appearing on the little screen, his heart sinking slightly, and he took a deep breath before he flipped the device open.

"Hey Dawn." He greeted her in a soft voice.

["I'm so sorry, Gibbs..."] Dawn Wilkerson told the man on the other side of the phone in a small crying voice.

"I'm not the one; you should say that to, Dawn." He told her before he added, "Even if I understand your actions, it wasn't the right way to deal with it."

["I know. I know..."] She sighed heavily. ["How is he?"]

"He's doing better now..." Gibbs said.

The NCIS team leader wondered why Dawn Wilkerson was really calling for. He hadn't seen her or heard from her in a long time, neither of them had, but after all that they had been through it didn't really matter anymore. He had a second chance with the woman he loved so it was fair to give Tony and Dawn one too.

He'd seen them together, they were in love with each other. Anyone who saw them could tell they deeply cared. Tony desperately loved her and so did she even if she was afraid of it herself, Gibbs knew. He'd known it back then, and the fact she was calling now just confirm it.

"Go to his place and wait for him to come home."

["Thanks, Gibbs."] She replied in a broken voice, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She heard the small click indicating that her friend — she hoped he still was her friend — had ended the call. As much as she wanted to talk to him, to explain why she had done things the way she had… she couldn't blame him for not wanting to talk to her. Dawn suddenly felt disappointed with herself.

She didn't recognized or even understand herself anymore, she had always been so strong. Always fighting back, each time life threw something though in her way and, the one time, life had given her something great she'd chickened out. Her mind filled up with memories of moments she's spend with Tony. She'd never felt so good, so happy, so at ease with a man. Why had she destroyed her happiness?

Anthony DiNozzo was such a funny and good person. Dawn had felt something for Tony to moment, she'd laid eyes on him, from the moment, he had shown her his interest she had felt flattered and beautiful, but when things had become more serious between them, fear had invade her. She panicked, packed and left everything behind her without another thought.

Today though, she realized how stupid she'd been. Special Anthony DiNozzo wasn't like any other man she'd ever met. Tony was nice, sweat and when he looked at her, his eyes didn't show any pity for her. What they showed her was respect, admiration and... love. Nothing comparable to things she could see in some men's eyes. Some were saying: _Poor thing, she's in a wheelchair, she'll never know what physical pleasure feels like_ , or _Damn, I just want to know what having sex with a disabled woman feels like..._

More tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about him. How the loss of his friend might have had an impact on him. All Dawn wanted now was to ask him to forgive her and maybe, just maybe he would let her take care of him like he had often done for her.

Please, God, let me help him.

**000**

After he'd hung up his phone, Gibbs stared at it for a moment. A smirk appeared on his lips. He was going to give Dawn and Tony a little push in the right direction.

He flipped his cell phone open again and dialed DiNozzo's number.

"Boss?"

["DiNozo, if I were you, I'd drop Ziva at the NCIS building and go back home."]

"But..."

["Just do as I say for once, Tony will you?"]

As a response, Gibbs heard a heavy sigh on the other end of the phone. The NCIS team leader couldn't help the smile that was forming on his lips yet again.

"What is it, Tony?" Ziva asked her friend and colleague when she saw him frown at his cell phone.

"The boss, just told me to go back home."

"What? Why?" She said, visibly surprised.

"Don't know. He said to drop you off at NCIS and that I had to go back home. And judging from the tone he used, I better do as he says." He sighed.

Abby's death had had its toll on all of them, but Gibbs was acting strangely. Ziva thought to herself.

"All right then, I'll call you if I find anything."

"Yeah, okay. Will you be able to go back to your place later?" DiNozzo asked.

"Yes, don't worry."

What she didn't tell him was that she intended to stay all night, and that she was getting worried about Gibbs. This was so unlike him. She was certain, something was wrong, but she couldn't put a finger on what it was..

Working and being alone would do her some good, and would give her time to think. Her boss's reactions since Abby's death puzzled the long dark haired Israeli woman. She didn't really know what she would have expected him to do, but this wasn't it.

There was no doubt in her mind that he was in love with Abigail Sciuto, so to her, his attitude didn't make sense. She knew that everyone as a very distinctive way to deal with grief and lost, but. Gibbs's way of grieving is bizarre. Ziva made a note to herself to dig a little deeper once she'd be done here.

She went over to her desk, sat on her chair and started up her computer. Thinking about what kind of a woman could kill to get her man back. As if killing was the solution if the person doesn't love you anymore. There is no use, it's not because you kill that he'll come back to you with open arms. Whoever that woman might be, she'd better pray that Gibbs wouldn't find her back.

Gibbs wasn't the type that crawled back. Gibbs was more the type to get revenge...

**000**

The moment, Tony entered his place; he sensed that something wasn't right, but he didn't place his hand on the holster that contained his gun. There was no danger something was just different, he couldn't explain why though; he just knew he wasn't in danger. Whatever would come next was not life threatening.

He switched the lights on, threw his keys automatically on the small table, the next thing he got rid off was his bag that he dropped on the floor. It was only when he was about to walk over to his bedroom that he saw her, standing next to her piano. He stopped short as if paralyzed. It wasn't possible, was it? She couldn't be here. She had left all those months ago without a word, without looking back. He was dreaming that was the reasonable explanation.

He wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak. He wanted to move, but he couldn't walk.

Tony just stood there rooted to the spot; unable to breathe. He couldn't believe she was there, she'd come back. Just seeing her made him forget about how sad he'd been when she'd left. How hurt he had felt, how angry he had been.

Her eyes filled up with tears, the moment their eyes locked, she wanted to tell him how sorry she was for everything she had put him through these last few months, but she couldn't. She didn't know where to start so she said the only thing that came to her mind. "Hi Stringfellow,"

In an instant, he forgot everything he'd felt except for one: love.

As a response, Tony smiled as his eyes watered. One-step after another he came closer to her, she followed his every step, leaning her head to look at him in the eyes. Tony stopped when he stood in front of her then lowered himself to his knees so he could be at eye level with her.

They look at one another silently for a long moment, not finding the words they needed to express how they felt at that precise lapse of time. Slowly, a little uncertain, Tony reached out to circle her waist with his arms and placed his head against her chest while she caressed his hair with one hand while the other held him closed to her.

"I missed you so much, Dawn." He told her in a broken whisper.

"I missed you too." She retorted in a crying voice.

They stayed like this, holding each other for quite a while, just enjoying the fact that they were reunited after all this time. Her fingers, absently caressing his hair; it felt so good having him so close to her again.

Where had she had the idea that things would be better for them not to be together in the first place? Dawn Wilkerson realized now, how stupid she's been. She would never have felt good again if she'd stayed away from him. Dawn needed Tony as much as she needed to breathe.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, she wasn't only feeling at ease with the man, she loved him and would do anything to spend as much time as possible with him.

"I love you," she said, stunned by her own words. Dawn had never told those words to a man before… not since…

Tony pulled back just enough to search her eyes, wanting to make sure he'd heard right. In an instant, he found the answer he was looking for. His eyes watered again. The tears weren't of sorrow, this time, but of joy. Joy because the woman he had missed so much had come back in life and because something good was finally happening to him since Abby was gone.

"I love you, too, Dawn." He told her, simply and honestly.

A smile appeared to his lips before he slowly leaned in to press his lips against hers. The moment their lips touched, DiNozzo felt as if a wave of electricity was running through his entire body. A sensation he wasn't used to. Was this how it felt to be in love with someone?

Dawn's hands slowly caressed his shoulders before they locked behind his neck, her eyes closing, as a rush of emotions cascading through her. Her mouth moved on his, slowly.

Slowly they pulled back from each other, smiling as they rested their foreheads against one another.

"I can't believe, you called me, Stringfellow." He said a little out of breath.

"Why not?" She laughed. Leave it to Tony to say something like that after a kiss.

"Let's say that I didn't think you were the type of woman that'd watch ' _Airwolf'_ "

"There are still lots of things you don't know about me, but I'm sure you'll be able to find them out soon enough." Dawn told him in a soft voice before she kissed him again. It didn't take long for them to get lost into the kiss, forgetting all the trouble in the world just for a short moment in time.


	24. Chapter 24

**TWENTY - FOUR**

Tony and Dawn were sitting on the couch sipping at their glasses of red wine. With tears in his eyes DiNozzo had explained to the woman, he loved what had happened to their respective friends.

Dawn couldn't believe it. This entire case was completely crazy. She hoped, someone would come to wake her soon, she would realize then that it had all just been a nightmare and not the horrible reality she was living in. That was what she told herself repeatedly.

Dawn Wilkerson couldn't help herself but feel sad that Gibbs hadn't mentioned anything about what had happened during their conversation. She understood his reserves, she had left them without a world, but she was Abby's friend and on the other hand, she knew the NCIS team leader was not the kind of man that was open about his feelings. She also knew that the man was very fond of her friend. Dawn had always known there was something more going on between them even when Gibbs and Abby weren't aware of it themselves.

As he told Dawn how it had all happen, Tony kept having flashbacks about the horrifying events. He remembered it has if it had all happened five minutes ago, Tony remembered how Gibbs had called Abby's name and got no answer coming from her, how deadly silent her lab had been...

 _Abby's Coffee-Pow spilled on the floor. Gibbs's heartbeat rose as he took in the sight. When he had entered the lab right behind his boss, he'd known right away that something was terribly wrong. He heard Gibbs call her again: "Abby!"_ _They'd been met with deafening silence._

_DiNozzo remembered, how his blood had ran cold in his veins, when he had seen Abby's body on the floor soaked in a pool of blood, a vision of nightmare for the both of them. The words were still echoing in his mind._

_"Call an ambulance!"_ _He had yelled in unison with his boss._

DiNozzo had to take a few minutes before he could continue to talk. Everything that had happen then was still so clear in his mind.

_McGee had, by then, managed to shake himself out of his drowsiness and took his cell phone out of his jacket pocket._

_Ziva on the other hand had been true to herself. She'd stayed calm looking around her for anything out of the ordinary when she rounded the counter her eyes caught something that shined under the lights of Abby's lab. She couldn't quite make out what it was at first as it seemed stuck under a metallic hard drive that had been thrown off of one of the desks, more than probably due to the fight that had occurred and landed behind the counter somehow. When she approached, Ziva realized the shiny piece was actually the tip of a knife and she… also found something else._

_Ziva slowly managed to dislodge the knife. Probably the knife that'd been used. She'd bagged and tagged it before informing her boss and it. He had then looked up at her _before his eyes focused on Tony. Without a word, Tony went to see what she had found. When he neared her, Tony called Ducky to come and take a look. Jenny Sheppard who had just entered the lab knelt down beside Abby and Gibbs. The NCIS team chief was still holding Abby, trying to apply some pressure to her wounds.__

_When he could Ducky arrived Tony did take a look at Gibbs to see if he was still with Abby, when he saw the look on his boss's face DiNozzo thought, he was about to kill the NCIS director with his eyes only._

_Sheppard was about to lay her hand on Abby's wound, but Jethro waved her hand away. Jenny opened her mouth to say something, but then she just got up and left the lab._

_She'd looked at him as if he had just stabbed her in the heart, which Tony hadn't really understood why she'd looked at him the way she had. Had something to do with what had happened between Gibbs and Jenny years ago?_

_He could easily see that his boss's blue eyes were full of pain and angriness. Tony guessed Jenny couldn't completely blame him._

_DiNozzo took another pause to collect his thoughts the events that had happened that particular day when they found Abby in her lab._

_Tony DiNozzo_ _remembered the conversation between his boss and the NCIS director Jenny Sheppard. Gibbs was mad at her because of something he had told her weeks ago… Something about Abby and the fact that she needed to work alone… Something about the fact that she never listened to what he said because she was his superior…_

_From what he had understood, Gibbs seemed to blame Sheppard for what had happened to their forensic scientist._

_Anthony DiNozzo stopped talking then. Dawn looked at him for a minute and told him that he didn't have to tell her everything if it was too difficult. She then caressed his cheek with one hand. She made her chair turn and headed toward the fridge when she took two bottles of water before wheeling herself back to him._

_Dawn handed him one of the bottles and told him to drink some of its contents. As he did so, she wheeled her chair to the sofa and put on the brakes and struggled somewhat to get in the sofa. As always since the beginning of their relationship, Tony watched her, but didn't offer his help._

_Not that he didn't want to. But he knew that it was best to let her do… she would ask for help if she needed it. Another reason why Tony he had fallen in love with her. She was so independent._

_Dawn reached for the bottle of water she had placed on the coffee table before she had installed herself and took a long sip of it. After that, Dawn placed it back in the table and set herself better again more comfortable._

_Once settled, she padded the empty place next to her with her hand. Dawn smiled at him and Tony came to sit next to her._

_"We've wasted so much time." He told her._

_Dawn didn't answer, but simply nodded her head._

_"Why?"_

_"I'm not really sure anymore, but I the time it seemed to be the right decision but now, it all seems to futile." She leaned closer to him to kiss his cheek._

_"I want us to start over, Dawn. If something doesn't work between us, I want us to talk to one another. No matter how difficult it might be."_

_"We will." She promised him._

_Tony finished what he had started after her promise and a sweet kiss on the lips. He continued to tell her what had happened to Abby._

_"Where is the damn ambulance?" Gibbs had yelled._

_"On its way, boss," Tim had answered._

_"Boss, I think we have another problem over here…" Tony said, slowly._

_"What?" he asked his younger officer, anger evident in his voice._

_"Well…" Tony started softly._

_"Well what?" Gibbs snapped out._

_Tony hesitated a second asking himself if he really had to tell his boss about what he had just discovered._

_"Boss I think you should come over here and see what I've found." However, it had been a difficult to tell his boss to come over, because in his mind it would have been better to let that bastard bleed to death. Nevertheless, he had done it. It would have been too easy for that dreg of society and if he'd died he wouldn't pay for his crime._

A thought, DiNozzo had never shared with anyone until now. He realized he could confide in Dawn, when she was with him, she was with him. She made him feel like his was the most important on earth for her.

_Chip was in agony, but still alive and aware of everything happening around him. Tony wanted to know why he Charles had done that to his best friend. What had she done to him to deserve such treatment?_

_"Well, DiNozzo?" berated Gibbs, still holding Abbs' bloodstained body close to him._

_"We need another ambulance, here, boss." Tony confessed, finally looking Gibbs straight in the eye._

_It took Gibbs a split second to register the information. Tony could see the exact moment his boss realized the implication of what he'd just said, because the sadness in his eyes turned instantly into anger rage even._

_"Come over here, DiNozzo," Gibbs told him calmly, too calmly._

_"Boss I don't think…"_

_"Don't make me say it twice, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned._

DiNozzo reached for the bottle of water again and brought it to his lips, his gaze staring into emptiness, one of the worse memories of his life was coming back to him. His best friend was dying in his arms. Tony wanted the memories to stop, but it wouldn't. it couldn't, it was all coming back to him so fast, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

_His white shirt was turning red as he was holding her tightly against him, but he didn't see it. He wouldn't give a damn about it anyway, all of his focus was on Abby. He was not going to let her slip away from him, from his life. He felt a wave of sadness, fear and pure anger washing over him._

Tony still felt the same emotions that went through him then. Abby's body getting cold… life was leaving her. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he remembered her last words. The woman next to him immediately put her arm around him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"It's alright, sweetheart you don't have to tell me everything if it's too difficult for you." She told him softly.

"I have to get it out."

"Ok, but take your time."

He told her the rest of the story then.

_He was watching her face, her beautiful face getting even whiter than it usually was and then Abby's eyelids slowly open. She looked at Tony with glassy green eyes, and he felt his heart break slowly bit-by-bit. Abby was struggling to find some energy to say the words she wanted so desperately to come out of her mouth. "Tell… Gibbs… I… I'll… never… forget… him…" Abby murmured weakly._

_Tony could see that she was really fighting to find her breath. He felt tears wetting his eyes then Abby added in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "Tell… Gibbs… I… I… lo…ve… him…" Then Abby's eyes slowly closed and she was gone._

_"Abbyyyyyy, NOOOOO! Stay with me! Stay with us!"_

_As he heard Tony's plea, Gibbs turned around, got up quickly, and rushed to Tony and Abby. Ziva did the same. Gibbs's body shivered with fear. He looked back and forth between Tony and Abby, and suddenly realization flooded him._

Gibbs trying to save her, he would never forget those horrifying moments. It'd also been one of the few times were he'd seen Ziva cry.

_"NO, NO, NO… she's not gonna die on me!" Gibbs stated._

_Gibbs slowly took her from Tony, laid her gently on the cool floor, and started CPR on her. Ziva looked at this surreal scene as well was now silently crying._

_She and Abby hadn't been good friends at first because Abbs had seen her a bit like an intruder – like an enemy – maybe because she wasn't the only one to get attention anymore. Then after a while, things had changed, and Abby had started to accept her… and now…_

_Gibbs was practicing CPR on his lab tech with the energy of desperation. "Abby, come on, honey, don't do this to me, don't die on me. Come back to me. I need you!" he said forcefully as tears started to roll down his cheeks._

Dawn felt her own eyes water as she slowly got still closer to the man she loved, why did life have to be so cruel? She hated to see him like this, but she was also happy that he was talking about it because she suspected that just as Gibbs he had kept it all in or if he had talked to someone that someone would be no other than Gibbs, because he was and always will be a father figure to Tony.

The woman she had become wondered why she ever doubted the feelings she had for Anthony DiNozzo... there was and never had been anything doubtful about them they were strong and simple she was in love. And he was too she had seen it in his eyes the moment they'd laid eyes on each other when he had entered his apartment. If she had anything to say about it, she would stay with him for the rest of her life.

"I love you."

His free hand reached up to intertwine his finger with hers. "I love you, too." Tony answered her easily.

"I mean it, I swear." She told him.

"I know you do, but..." his voice trailed off then.

"But what, honey?"

"Abby promised too and..."

Dawn cursed herself then. How selfish of her. She slowly took Tony's bottle of water out of his hand and carefully place it on the small table then leaned backwards and pulled him with her before she placed a hand on his forehead.

"Never make promises you cannot keep. That's something that should be written in law books." Tony murmured.

"You're right..." She simply said.

DiNozzo suddenly took her hand from his forehead and stood up, leaving a surprised and somewhat stunned young woman on the sofa. He reappeared an instant later, holding a piece of paper in his left hand.

DiNozzo sat back next to her then and handed her the paper as he softly said. "I found this not so long ago..." The woman on the couch pulled herself up a little bit before unfolding the paper and started to read...

_Dear Tony,_

_I'm sure as you're reading this letter you are wondering why I'm taking the time to write to you instead of calling you, right? Yeah, see, that's exactly what you're doing, right now. I know you so well; I've always been able to read you like an open book. (Smile)_

_Dawn had to smile as well. Yeah, Abby Sciuto did know Anthony DiNozzo well._

_But if you are reading this letter, it also means that something has happened to me._

_I don't want to you to be sad, but if you are, and you probably are just think about this poem written by Mary Elisabeth Fry in 1932._

_I know you're not the kind of guy that is into poems, but do me a favor and read it anyway will you?_

_Do not stand at my grave and weep,_

_I am not there; I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow,_

_I am the diamond glints on snow,_

_I am the sun on ripened grain,_

_I am the gentle autumn rain._

_When you awaken in the morning's hush_

_I am the swift uplifting rush_

_Of quiet birds in circling flight._

_I am the soft starlight at night._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry,_

_I am not there; I did not die._

_I saw something I shouldn't have so to protect you all, I decided to go and ask Fornell for help, but I guess, he must have failed too. So Tony, now it's up to you and the team to step in and find who did this to me._

_Promise me one thing though, Promise me that whatever you discover you'll never hate me big brother._

_I'll always love you, your favorite little sister,_

_Abby_

_PS: What the eye sees isn't always what's real._

A single tear rolled down Dawn Wilkerson's cheek as she folded back the letter before handing it back to Tony.

The woman sitting in the couch next to him had the feeling that something wasn't right about the letter. This isn't a simple goodbye letter. For Dawn there was more to this letter than just a goodbye message. It was even more like the opposite, a bit, as if she was telling him she wasn't dead. To Dawn the PS Abby had written said it all:

DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE.

She was certain Abby would be able to pull off something big like that. Her friend would be capable of faking her own death, if there was a woman on earth who would be able to do something like that it would be Abby. She decided not to tell Tony about her theory; he wasn't ready to hear it.

There was also that particular poem among a zillion of poem she could have chosen she pick out that one. That starts with _Do not stand at my grave and weep,_ _I am not there; I do not sleep._

_Dawn Wilkerson was convinced now that her friend had faked her death, but_ to do it and make the ones she love believe such a huge thing, she must have or still must be in great danger. The most complicated must have been to lie to Gibbs...

However, the question was did she really lie to him or did she tell him? If you'd want to pull off such a huge thing, you would have tell someone you trust with your life and from what she'd seen about Gibbs, he's a master in hiding his emotions... so if she were Abby, she'd have told him about her plans to assure herself safety.

Dawn Wilkerson, girl, you are completely and utterly nuts! She told herself.

**000**

"You're never going to believe this..." Gibbs called out from down stairs.

"Never going to believe what?" Abby asked as she came out from the bathroom.

"Dawn called me."

"What?" She asked in disbelief while she walked down the steps bare foot.

"You heard me, Abbs." He said smiling at her. "I think, DiNozzo, is going to feel better pretty soon." Gibbs told her as he waited for her at the foot of the stairs. And took her in his arms, just because he could.

Abby tilted her head to one side and looked him in the eyes, before smiling back at him.

"Oh I just told her to let herself in his apartment and wait for him."

"You didn't!"

"Sure did. Abbs I know why she ran away, I know how difficult it's been for her, I know she's suffered from the decision she's taken then, but she was convinced she was handling for the best. I know it because I was like her."

"You didn't run away." She pointed out to him before leaning in to kiss his lips.

"No I didn't, but I didn't let anybody in for years. I thought that it was the best thing to do, but it some sort of backfired, it hurts even more to be alone, I've realized that now, but at that time I really thought, the best thing for me and everyone I care for was for me to stay alone."

"Don't love so you won't be hurt if you had to lose the one you love. I know."

"The thing is..."

"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

"You taught me that." He said softly before he captured her lips, and kissed her heatedly.

Five seconds later, she was in his arms and he was carrying her back upstairs, to the bedroom. This wasn't what they'd had in mind, but... there was nothing wrong with doing some physical activities, was there?

 

TBC…

 

**A/N** **2: I've modified this chapter because as I re-read it had a lot of missing stuff in my eyes. I hope you guys don't mind and that you'll keep reading even it can take me a very long time to update. Thank you so much for your patience and for staying with me for this story.**


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